Fated: Wars Against The Heart

Chapter 15: To Paradise I'll Carry You

10th May, 2019

It happens dear, it will be like that.

"Ameen, what are you doing?" She smiled weakly, she felt downright tired and all she craved for this time was to sleep. Ameen made her stand in front of the full length mirror in their bathroom as he would help her take a bath since it had been days she hadn't taken one. All she did was to eat and vomit. She even made him get her those Monster Tacos.

"Since you are stubborn enough to not shower, I'm gonna make you." Ameen replied as he made the water ready in the tub.

"I get that, but why should I stare at myself?"

"Not at yourself." Ameen was then behind her. He steadily removed her bathrobe and put it away. "You haven't given much thought and you didn't take a look."

Taraa turned towards him, her heart was on the edge and she felt cold. She was really surprised this time, she blushed when he had hugged her from the back and placed his hand on her belly as he caressed it. They stared at each other in the mirror and finally after almost two months, she looked down at her own abdomen in which she was carrying a life.

She gulped and Ameen squeezed her shoulder with the other hand. She was shy at first, more like nervous as she steadily brought her hand up to her tum. It's no big of a deal, everyone gets pregnant, everyone gives birth. She kept reminding herself that as she disliked the fact she was making one big huge deal out of this. Even though it was not, in some other way it really was to her. Was she strong enough for this? She believed she would be, but she feared of messing it up.

Amidst all those dull thoughts, she felt the warmth of the vibes she never even had experienced. An unconscious smile curled her lips as she sensed her eyes watering. She couldn't do this anymore, she couldn't look herself in the eye anymore so she abruptly turned around in his arms and held on him firmly. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ameen reassured. 

She was silent for a while and then she looked up at him, "I want to do the ultrasound thing and I don't know . . " She didn't understand these crazy mood swings she had been experiencing. They really drove her crazy!

Ameen found it cute whenever she had referred to the medical terms, sometimes those she weren't sure of. He loved it when she would say them.

"Of course, I'm excited too!" Ameen hopefully smiled as he frowned.

"Do you think carrying a child is a strong thing like they all say it is?" Her soft voice got him to wonder as to why she had asked him such kind of a question.

She continued and Ameen slowly lead them towards the water, "Because I don't feel all that strong. At one thought I believe and accept that it's God will and plan. It's a blessing and a gift. Of course it is. I'm not trying to compromise that fact, but then when you contemplate on it, it takes away a part of your own self, your flesh and blood, a part of your heart, you get to see the part of your heart actually growing and living the life of this world. You can call it love and it is unconditional." 

Ameen helped her to get in the water and he remained out as he knelt down to wash her. He attentively listened to her while he washed her.

"A part of you is exposed to the world, you get to see the surprises and adventures of your external part in live. It's real and glorious. It's risky but a brave thing, I guess. You cannot deny it even if you wanted to. Because it's a part of your own self, of your heart."