What Went Wrong (to the love that once was strong) [Caius & Celestine]

Kabanata 2

Tears began to stream down my cheeks while Caius was kissing me. For a moment, I felt lost in his lips as I was slowly being reminded of all the make-love we shared inside this bathroom. Every corners of it had memories of us, dito sa sink, sa cold tiled floor, sa bathtub, sa flusher, at sa ilalim ng shower.

He held at my jaw, intensifying the kiss, his warmth and passion enveloping me as he explored every inch of my mouth and as he pressed his body closer to me. Meanwhile, tears continued to stream down my cheeks, longing to reciprocate, to reconnect with him intimately as we once did. But the thought of his lips on another woman, on Emery’s, my best friend, the one I already considered as my sister, made my stomach churn, had me wanting to vomit.

Nanlamig ang sikmura ko sa biglaang pagkaalala sa kaniya at sa mga maaaring nagawa na nilang dalawa. I felt disgusted, it was making me sick in the stomach, kaya naman inilapat ko ang mga palad sa dibdib niya at saka buong lakas na itinulak at pinaulanan ng mga suntok.

Right now, hatred was consuming me, spreading throughout my whole being and eclipsing all other emotions that I used to have for him, leaving me feeling sad and scared. Dahil ayokong mapalitan ng galit ‘yong pag-ibig ko sa kaniya. Ayokong mangyari ‘yon dahil gusto ko pa rin na maging maayos kami kahit magkahiwalay na. For old times’s sake. For his parents. Most especially for our daughter, Kisses.

“Celestine,” tawag niya.

I wiped my lips, very disgusted at him. I raised my head and looked at him through angry and blurry eyes. Natagpuan kong nakaawang ang bibig niya, sising-sisi ang mga mata, at tila ba binuhusan ng nagyeyelong tubig.

Natigilan siya at ginamit ko ang pagkakataon na iyon. Dali-dali akong bumaba sa lababo at muntik pang matumba sa biglaang pagkahilo pero pinilit ko pa rin ang tumayo nang tuwid. I stepped a foot to leave but he gripped my arm, stopping me from leaving.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he tried explaining.

Hinaklit ko ang braso ko mula sa hawak niya at sa nanlilisik na mga mata ay hinarap siya.

“Celestine, I didn’t—”

“You didn’t what, huh? You didn’t mean to kiss me? Is that what you wanted to say? At sino ka para sabihing hindi na ako magmamahal pa ng iba?!” hinahapong sigaw ko.

I saw his mouth opened but no words came out.

“Mali ka! Because I will, Caius! I will still find someone else! Magmamahal pa ako ng iba! Higit sa pag-ibig ko sa ‘yo! ‘Yong hindi ako sasaktan! ‘Yong hindi ako iiwanan!” sabi ko, sobrang sumasakit na ang lalamunan sa sabay na pagsigaw at pag-iyak.