short story's

my jump

In this pane of existence, teenagers have one thing in common, there utter hatred for school. Be it the homework, the classes, teachers or just the whole day in general, we all have something we dislike about it but we grudgingly admit that school has been beneficial to us all in some way shape or form no matter how we look at it. Then again there are the kids who don't get anything form it who drop out first chance they get. The kids who are miserable and want to just disappear and sometimes they do.

I envy the kids who can push through who are able to pick up their lives and go on to become great people and who are able to have a great life, for, I am not one of those people. My misrely stared in high school the bane of all teenagers ranging from 14 to 18 maybe even 19. My story stared out typical enough bullying for being too fat pushed around and general door mat if you want to say so. But somehow, I made it to the top of the food chain and became number one. I was popular, smart beautiful I had a great boyfriend wonderful friends and all, but I knew it was fake.

I could fell it inside myself. Every smile was forced along with every laugh, my relationships seemed strained even with my boyfriend the one who I thought was going to be my Mr. forever man, slowly I was falling back in to my old depression the one I keep a bay with all my fake smiles and laughs, the one I locked away in my mind pertaining it wasn't there and wishing that it would just go away. But, it didn't I slowly spiraled back in to my mind picking up old habits that had my friends worrying. Then they stopped worrying and just left. I was divested my life was falling apart, and there was nothing I could do to stop it I just sat and watched it crumble around me.

So, with nothing I could do my thoughts turned to suicide and just like that I was self-harming taking drugs getting high smoking all for that little relies of pain. I just wanted it to all stop it just felt like I was on this roller coaster when I would get high or drunk it would go up climbing up this hill of fake happiness, but as it wore off I would plummet fast and scary back in to my depressed state and I would franticly to anything I could to get back in to my happy are by cutting making the roller coaster jerk around corners and up and down as if it was unsure what to do there was no end of the tracks in sight and I thought that I was doomed to ride this coaster of emotions for the rest of my life until one day it did but not in the way most people expect. There was no soothing stop or slowing down no it was much harsher than this.

On May 16, 2017, I decide to end my life and just like that my roller coaster crashed, it just fell right of the tracks and down I went with it spiraling in to a new-found depression that I knew I could never climb out of. So, with that in mind I wrote, I wrote so much. I wrote letters to every person I could think off, my old group of friends in school, my parents and siblings, even my history teacher whom I loved dearly.

With all my letters written and in the mailbox, I took a bottle of pills and walked to the river. Standing on the rail I slowed the entire bottle of pills and stared down at the murky waters below. Finley felling the effects of the pills I looked down felling the dizziness and numbness seep in to my body smiling and letting a few tears slip out I let go and jumped... 

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this first one is a bit depressing but I like it this was first written last year and I had all but forgotten about it. I stumbled upon it a couple of days ago and I edited it and deiced to post it here I hope you all enjoyed it

well that's all I have for you

unicorn out