Trust Fall

Part 4

    My father left my mom and I when I was only 2 years old. So, I never knew what it was like to lose someone close to you. But...Grayson, I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. The last thing I said to him was, "I don't even know who you are anymore."
    I hear everything, the sirens, the gasps, the cries, the sobs, the honks, the mumbling, but in the midst of all the commotion. I am hollow. I am alone. I am forlorn. I am nothing.
    Now? I'll have to live my life, knowing that I didn't forgive him, that I could've save him. He successfully got in the football team, and that game when I was waiting for him in the bleachers, he chose to join the posse of jocks and bully me with them. He broke my heart, knowing that he valued popularity over a genuine friendship. But now, I'll never get to understand why he did it, and I'll never get to tell him I forgive him...
Depression didn't kill him. Neither did anxiety. Deep down, I know...

I killed him.

I just can't anymore. I run. I run away from all the devastation. I run away from the sounds of sorrow trapping me there. I run away from loss. I run away from grief. I run away from the hole that is eating me alive. I run away from myself.
I run all the way back home, where I run up 16 floors, and bang my door continuously.
There opening the door is a worried mother, the mother that I have been too indulged in my own problems to cherish. The mother that I always neglect.
I collapse onto the wooden floor, embracing her in my arms. We don't speak. The only sound I hear is silence. Because she knows that I am broken. Smashed into a million pieces.
And she knows that...

All I have now, is her.

    Yet now, I don't feel alone. Even with the sounds of bustle in the crime scene, even with the shouting in the streets, even with the laughter and fun at the football game; I felt empty. But now, I don't, because I know that I still have my mother.
    No matter what you're going through. There will always be your family. The people that are bonded to you by love, the people who you will always trust. Catching you when you fall.