The Line Between Love and Hate

Five

I tried to ignore my thoughts. But I can't. Reginas been different. And it's weird. She comes over, fucks me hard for a long time, then leaves. And yes that's been kind of the norm, but she's been leaving without even letting me calm down. Normally, she waits until I'm calm again after a big orgasm. Lately she's been leaving as soon as we've both cum extremely hard, leaving me to myself. I don't like it. I miss having her hold me while the after-effects of my orgasms rip me apart. It's ruining me. I'm turning into a stupid mess of feelings and I hate it. I was never supposed to have feelings for her. This was just supposed to be about sex. She hates me for fucks sake. I ran my fingers through my hair and closed my eyes. I got my phone out and texted her.
I'm horny. Can you come help?
I sent and waited for my response. It came shortly after.
I'm busy. Take care of it yourself.
My breathing hitched as I read it. And it actually hurt. She can come running to fuck me anytime she wants but the one time I ask? What a bitch. I started typing, not even thinking.
Fine. Maybe that'll be my response the next time you come barging in at 3 fucking am you bitch. I have never once asked you until now. How dare you.
I sent the message and my breathing hitched as soon as I did. Fuck. This is going to be bad. I ran my fingers through my hair as I waited for her response. This isn't going to be good. I already know it. She started typing and I felt my stomach churning.
You know what? I will come help. Send your deputy out.
I furrowed my eyebrows at her text and swallowed thickly. "Hey David, can you go do the rounds? I'm not feeling very well." I said and he nodded. "Sure Swan. I'll see you in a few hours." He said and left. I took a few deep breaths. It'll be fine. I went back to paperwork as I waited.

Several long minutes later, I heard the front door open, then slam shut. I heard the lock click into place and I swallowed thickly. Fuck. I heard her heels clicking but they were louder. Angrier. Shit. She came into the bullpen and I stood up as she made her way to my office. "Regina i-" "shut up. How dare you speak to me that way? I am your boss and I am the one in charge here. If I say no, you respect my answer. You do not get angry with me. Do you understand?" She yelled, pinning me to the wall and i nodded hurriedly. I've never seen her so mad. "When I ask you a question, I expect you to answer me!" She yelled and I swallowed heavily. "I-I understand." I said and she searched my eyes, her face full of anger. "Bend over your desk. Now." She said angrily and I did as she said, closing my eyes. Fuck. This is not going well. I gasped feeling a hard smack on my ass and I turned around to see she had taken her leather belt off. What the fuck? She yanked my jeans and thong down before smacking my ass hard with the belt. I groaned in pain and closed my eyes.

By the time she finished, I had zoned out. I stared off in space as she yelled at me and spanked me with that fucking belt. I had tears on my cheeks I'm sure. It sent me spiraling into memories of my horrid foster homes. And now here I am, at 23 years old, being punished for losing my temper. "Emma?" She asked, carefully and I stood up, fixing my thong and jeans. I wiped my tears off my face and took a deep breath. "Emma I'm sorry. I just.. got carried away." She mumbled and i looked at her, my face blank. "Leave." I said quietly. She furrowed her eyebrows and started talking but I cut her off. "Leave!" I shouted and she swallowed thickly before doing as I said. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. Rough sex and spanking me is different. But just spanking me for getting upset? Am I seriously just a toy to her? A toy for her to fuck and take her anger out on apparently.

When my shift ended, I left the station and drove home. I parked and went in, furrowing my eyebrows seeing roses on the foyer table. I closed and locked the door behind me and went to the kitchen, smelling something good. I walked in and my breathing hitched seeing regina in jeans, a button down with the sleeves rolled up and an apron. I raised an eyebrow and cleared my throat. She looked up at me and smiled sadly. "Hi. I made shrimp Alfredo and garlic bread. I know it's one of your favorites and I felt bad. I also got you your favorite flowers." She said and i shook my head. "Why do you care? You never cared before when you hurt me. You never once cared about how I felt. Why now?" I asked and she frowned. "I always cared. Emma, I know you don't believe me, but I truly am sorry. I.. i lost my temper and I shouldn't have. You have the right to be upset with me. I'm so sorry." She said and I could tell she was upset. She wiped her hands on her apron and cleared her throat a little. "I... I'll just go okay?" She said and i shook my head. "S-stay..." i said and she looked up at me. "Really?" She asked and i nodded. "I.. i don't like eating alone." I said and she nodded. "I'll make our plates. Sit down."