Hazbin hotel Alastor X reader ( under some editing )

Alastor really is a douche when he wants to be.

( its time for a chapter all about Alastor being a spiteful cunt! yay XD these are a few of the times Alastor was spitful and just a plane cunt :p i hope you enjoy ) 

Alastor and you were in the hotel. " u-umm.. Alastor why do I have all this conditioner?.. " you asked. " well my dear Y/N. what do you think? " Alastor said transforming into deer form. " you're going to use all the conditioner you can arent you?. " you asked. " and shampoo! " Alastor cackled. you sighed. " you are insane " you said. " you know it love! " he said. you sat down all the shampoo down on the counter while Alastor sat in the tub. " why do I do these things for you?. " you sighed. " cause you love me " Alastor said smugly. " and remember. use ALL of it " he said. " i can't believe im going to do this. " you sighed. you grabbed a few of the bottles of shampoo and the shower head. you turned it on and gently wet Alastor's fur. he relaxed in the tub. " im not cleaning the tub out after this. there is going to be fur everywhere. " you said. " oh well " he purred. you poured about 6 bottles of shampoo on him. you started to rub it through the long and soft fur. there was even dried blood at some spots. " im not going to ask about the dried blood. " you mumbled. you continued to scrub it through the fur. " remember dear. use the most you can~ " Alastor purred. wow. Alastor loved being a lil cunt. you poured about 10 more bottles of the shampoo on him and completely scrubbed it all over him. " I never realized how large your deer form was until I used 16 bottles of shampoo on you. " you said. " you aren't even half done " Alastor cackled. about 6 minutes later you had learned it took about 32 hotel bottles of shampoo to quench his spiteful thirst. you then washed Alastor completely off. using the shower head to completely rinse the deer demon off. after that he told you to grab the conditioner and use all of it. " does this even affect your demon form in any way?. " you asked with a raised eyebrow. " not really. would you like to bath both my forms?~ " Alastor purred with a wide smirk. your face burst into red. " A-Alastor!! " you shouted with a bright red face. Alastor cackled. " calm down my dear your face is almost as red as my fur " Alastor cackled. you huffed and turned the shower head onto blast and pointed it at Alastor's snot. you hit the button and water shot Alastor right in the face. he gasped and glared playfully at you. " that's what you get for being a prick " you said with a playful smile. at that instant, Alastor's smirk widened perked up into a psychotic grin. he jumped out of the tub and landed on you sending you to the floor on your back with Alastor smirking down at you. " A-Alastor you're still covered in conditioner and water! " you cried out for mercy from the deer demon. he cackled. " should have thought about that before you decided it was a good idea to blast me with the shower head my dear! " Alastor exclaimed before sitting on your chest. he smirked down at you with a smug expression. he layed down on top of you. " Alastor get off your soaking wet and covered from head to toe in conditioner! " you said. "I think you mean from ear to hoof my dear " Alastor exclaimed smugly. " whatever just get off I have my phone in my pocket and you're soaking wet! " you said. Alastor finally got off. he sat back in the tub and let you get up. when you saw him he was smirking smugly. " now hurry up and wash me off my shift starts soon and I can't be late " he said with a chuckle. you began to rub the conditioner all through his fur very well to make sure that it reached every area of his fur. after that you grabbed the shower head and washed him off. " you are insane to go through all this trouble just to use this much shampoo and conditioner. " you said with a huff. " and why do you think I had you help me this time? " Alastor answered with a smug look. " ... " you sat there realizing that he used you just to use up all the shampoo and conditioner he could. " you used me to do this didn't you?. " you asked. he replied simply by grinning.  he got up out of the tub and sat down next to the towel you had ready. you grabbed it and began to dry off the deer demon. " Alastor why do I do these things?. " you said. " cause you love me and would do anything for me~ you said so yourself~ " Alastor sang. you sighed. you finally finished wiping him off. he stood up and started to shake like a dog, water splattering all over the walls and you. you gasped as you basically got sprayed with water. he grinned and raced out of the bathroom. " ALASTOR!! " you shouted. you heard the deer demon cackle and run down the hall. you sighed and threw the empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner away. who knew that Alastor would go to such great lengths just to use up so much conditioner and shampoo. just then.. " ALASTOR IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!! " you heard vaggie yell. I think she found out about all the shampoo and conditioner. you then heard Alastor cackle loudly throughout the hotel. you heard crashes and thumps. well then. 

( time skip ) 

you were running after Alastor. why? well.. he had gotten a hold of a chainsaw. everything was chaos.  " ALASTOR! " you shouted running after him. he chased husk and Baxter around the hotel probably doing about 10 laps around the hotel. eventually, Baxter and husk were found. baxter hid under one of the beds and husk was in a tree hanging onto it for dear life. you eventually ended up getting the chainsaw from Alastor when he was almost done cutting the tree down that husk was in. " okay. NEW RULE! " you shouted. " NO more power tools near Alastor or in his reach okay? " you shouted. everyone nodded not needing to be told twice. you handed the chainsaw to vaggie. she took it out of the hotel to be disposed of and OUT of Alastor's reach. ( you all thought that in this story Alastor was sane didn't you? nope. this is showing all of the fucked up moments that I don't include in the chapters ) needless to say. Alastor isn't allowed to be near tools and whenever power tools are in the hotel Alastor needs to be exiled ( aka banned ) from the hotel untell the tools are out of the area. 

these were just a few of the fucking insane things Alastor have done. this isn't even half of it. 

( hello my lil sinners! i just wanted to make a lil joke chapter like the ' why you shouldn't let Alastor drink ' chapter! :3 i found some headcanon things and wanted to add some of them. and its been a while since weve had a jokeish chapter like that right? so i thought ' hey why not :3 ' and decided to make this. i hope you enjoyed this chapter! goodbye my little sinners :3  )