Happiness

"Thank you."

I don't know what compelled me to be like this towards you.

Ever since I first met you, I knew that I'm attracted to you.

I didn't let it get to me and I just thought of it as something minor.

After many months of ignorance, I still found myself coming back to you.

I don't know what caused this kind of feelings to invoke in me.

I just wish that you would look at me differently...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cherish our moments in that little coffee shop that you love so much. 

We would always talk about the silliest things that comes into our mind. Your wavy hair would always be illuminated by the warm glow of the sun just like the calming waves of the sea. Your shy demeanor would always fade whenever we are together and I feel so lucky to see that side of you.

I would always find a way to make you laugh just so I could hear your angelic voice... to be the one to give you happiness. Along with your laughter is a voice that makes me guilty to the core. I have nothing against her. She is also my best friend and she loves you too much that I just want to disappear for even feeling this way.

I want to let out this secret of mine that has been hiding within me for years... that I love you and I want to be the one who will be the one you grow old with...

But when I see her wrap her arm around your shoulder I knew....

That Nakamoto Suzuka cannot be with Mizuno Yui.

How can I...?

When you are happy with the one you love?

"Why did Monika even bit your nose?" Moa asks between laughs as she tries to minimize it to not bother the other customers.

"I don't know! I swear that dog must really think I'm her chew toy or something!" I reply back, still remembering the events that took place in the morning. The two girls in front of me continued to laugh and I could only let out a pout.

"Does it still hurt?" Yui asks in a caring voice. She leans on the table, looking closely for possible markings and I can't help but be conscious about the gap between us. My heart started to beat so fast I worried that it will be heard by her.

"No! I'm fine n-now..." I can't help but mentally facepalm.

'Stop stuttering! Don't be too obvious urgh!'

She hummed in response as she leaned back into her chair and looked at me with worry.

"You should teach Monika to behave. You could get hurt!" Yui says in a motherly tone.

Moa chuckles a bit before patting Yui's head, "Now, now, don't worry. Su-chan can take care of Monika well. I'm sure that Monika mistook her for mochi."

"You're just craving for Mochi, aren't you?"

"Yup!"

I couldn't hear the rest of their conversation anymore as I look at them. They looked like an old married couple and here I am... letting my heart break as I watch them.

Many times, I asked myself...

Why does it still hurt even if it's already years?

Why do you still carry these feelings even if I knew that it will never be reciprocated?

How I wish I could solved these problems easily. Thoughts of being with you still haunts me to this day. There are times when I thought I have finally moved on, but with just a glimpse of your beautiful face, I would fall in love all over again and it becomes a never ending cycle.

However, I know that this needs to stop already. These feelings of mine is not needed and it will definitely ruin what we have right now. I just need to... stop.

"Hey Su-chan."

I was cut out of my thoughts when I heard her call out to me.

I looked to her only to see the most beautiful sight in front of me. With her face illuminated by the warm glow of the afternoon sun, her bewitching smile that mystifies you to no end, and her caring eyes that makes you feel important is a sight to behold.

"Yes?" I could only utter a single word in my condition.

"Thank you for everything." She says with gratitude etched on her face.

I could only tilt my head in confusion... 'Thanks for what?'

"I know that I said this a lot before but if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had the courage to confess to Moa that day. Moa is at the restroom right now but I just want you to know that we are both grateful." She said shyly whilst looking away in embarrassment.

Those words pushed me back to the hard reality and I could hear my heart shattering in pieces.

Please stop.

"You made me realize that I should just go for the things that I love and be brave."

Don't thank me... please... not when I can't even do the things that I told you before...

"Thank you for being such a great friend."

Please.... just stop...

"I hope you find your happiness someday too."

And that is the final straw. Tears involuntarily fell from my eyes and I could no longer stop it from falling. You freaked out as soon as you saw my tears and immediately asked why am I crying. But I could only smile in return while I can feel my body crumbling down.

"You baka! These are tears of happiness for you guys."

How can I find happiness when you're my happiness?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Hey guys! I know that I haven't updated Crimson Moon yet huhu forgive me X< I was just really busy and stuff... ANYWAYS, This is my way of coping with Yui's leave from BABYMETAL HUHUHU I feel so numb tbh :'(  It felt like one of my dreams was gone... But I truly wish Yui to be happy and if she's contented with the path she's taken then I support her! Hoped you liked this lil oneshot! And I cannot assure when I will post Crimson Moon yet since I STILL have a very busy schedule T.T