FemxStud Fatales

Chapter 4: Can I Be Honest?

( Nat in media) day

I stood outside the shower as I waited for the water to heat up, choosing a song I wanted to hear. I was still tired as it was eight in the morning and Jamaica had just dropped me off before work. I put my hair up in a messy bun before stepping into the shower feeling the hot water hit my skin. As tired as I was, I didn't want to get out the shower, the hot water felt amazing. I hummed along to a slow jam as I allowed the water to run over me. After a while I washed up then got out. I wrapped a towel around me and headed to my room. I dried off and lotioned my body before laying on my changed sheets. Pulling the covers over me I closed my eyes and went to sleep. I woke to the sounds of my cousin getting ready for work. It was just after 1pm, I climbed out of bed and went to brush my teeth. My stomach growled and I decided I was going to grab breakfast on my way to the library. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I slipped on black leggings and ripped jeans to go over them, I pulled my black Nike hoodie over My spaghetti strapped shirt and wore big hoop earrings. I tied a black bandana around my head leaving my messy bun where it was at. I grabbed my phone, keys, and wallet and headed out the door. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed her black truck parked outside my house. She stood there with a coffee cup in one hand and a dunkin donuts bag in another. I slowly walked to her as I studied her expression. I couldn't tell if she was mad or not. "What are you doing here?" I asked her stopping a few feet away from where she was standing. I played with my keys as I waited for her to answer. "Why'd you leave in the middle of the night?" She asked. I shifted my weight to the other side. I honestly didn't have an answer for her, I didn't think I deserved to give her one. She wasn't my girlfriend , I wasn't her property. "I had something I had to go do." I said. My attention wandered down the street to children talking loudly. "You had something or someone to do, in the middle of the night?" I focused back on her. I knew she could see the attitude on my face. "That's none of your fucking business, your not my girl." She chewed on the inside of her lip. I knew my comment didn't hurt her, because I wasn't her girl, but I knew she wanted me to be. She pulled her keys out of her hoodie pocket, handed me the food that was in her hands, and then climbed in her truck. "Enjoy your day." She said before pulling off from the curb. I looked down at the food and then handed it to the kids walking by. They looked at me confused and I told them to enjoy their day as I walked to my car.   The sounds of Summer Walker filled my car as I pulled away from the curb. Your selfish. Her voice filled my head with the conversation we held outside the club that not. I wasn't selfish, though. Boss up she said, I remembered the annoyed expression she gave me. She wasn't sympathetic to the fact that my ex hurt me. She wanted me to be her possession, and I couldn't be that..at least not right now. I still didn't know if I could trust her with my heart. Yeah, she was persistent, but how would she be after she got me? I pulled into the parking lot of library and parked my car. I turned my engine off and sat there staring at the building. This had became my peace of mind. Falling in love with the love lives of characters in books that I enjoyed. Sometimes I'd sit here all day and read, finishing books in the quiet aisles of the library. No one bothered me, not even the librarians. I pulled open the library door and took the elevator to the second floor. I scanned the shelves for my next interesting book. Once I found something worth reading. I sat down on the floor and opened to the first page.

                         *Her POV*
My heart hurt when I woke to an empty bed this morning. I thought we'd had a good night, enjoying each other's company as we laughed and talked over different horror movies she wanted to watch. But the next morning I was waking , alone in my big ass bed. Half the time I wondered why I even chased her. I should've taken her word at the mall when she said she wasn't interested. But that early morning id
caught her staring at me out her window told me she was interested. She wore the dress and she came home with me last night. Maybe I was reading her wrong. I sipped the chamomile tea as I sat here in the café across from the library. I'd been here since I left her house. I'm not your girlfriend. Those words echoed in my mind over and over again. You didn't have to be my girlfriend for me to care about you. Women were so fucking stupid. Here I was trying, over and over to show her I wanted her. I'd stopped talking to the girls in my phone. She was my focus, yet she was so hard to get. "Can I get you anything else?" The waiter asked, startling me from my own thoughts. "Nah I'm good, just my bill please." I said. "Sure thing." He said as he walked off. I sipped the last bit of my tea as he returned with my bill. I placed the exact amount owed and then added a hundred dollar bill on top and told him to keep the change. I thanked him for his service as he smiled at me and thanked me for my generous tip. As I exited the café my eyes caught Giovanni's car pull into the parking lot across the street. I watched as she sat in her car for minutes just staring at the building. I thought about going over to her, but for what ? Her mixed signals were tiring. I walked to my truck and started it as I drove away. I played Jacquees version of Trip by Ella Mai. I sung along to the lyrics, thinking about her. I drove to the lake house my parents owned. They hardly ever came here, I'd like to think it was mines anyway. I pulled into the driveway and walked around back onto the dock. I took in the scenery of the lake. The water stood still as the orange, yellow, red, and brown leaves reflected onto the surface of the lake. Fall was my favorite season. The trees were full and pretty, full of color. I watched as a family of ducks swam on the far side of the lake. I'm not your girlfriend. Her voice found my mind once again. I stood and walked to the front of the house. Picking up a spare key from under the rug, I let myself in. The house lit, from the natural lighting of the sun, I inhaled deeply, remembering the times my family spent here when I were younger. My brother, who was my best friend, died in a car accident when we were both fifteen. His birthday was a few days before mines but we always celebrated together. My sisters both married, moved far away, I only saw them on holidays with their bad ass kids. It was just me and my parents still in town but we hardly spent time together. I walked upstairs into my paint room and sat down. I looked at the paintings I'd done over the years. I found an empty canvas and begin to draw the only thing that stayed on my mind. Giovanni.

      *Giovanni POV*

I was reading Chasing Destiny by Jerome E. Dickey. Although the book was good, it couldn't keep my focus. Occasionally I'd close the book because she'd pop in my head. I looked at my phone to see it was eight-thirty. The library would be closing soon and I hadn't received a text or call from her. Not that I was expecting it, but still. I sighed and stood up, I walked to the librarian desk to check this book out. My stomach growled as I realized I'd forgotten to grab food, and I'd been here all day. I grabbed the book off the counter and headed to the car. The cold air smacked me in my face as soon as I opened the door. I ran to my car and instantly turned on the heat. This was my favorite season, but I was starting to miss summer. My phone ring and I answered already annoyed. "Wassup cousin?" I said into the phone. "You coming to this hotel party tonight?" She asked. I rolled my eyes. This bitch always wanted to go out somewhere. "Nah." I said sighing into the phone. "Why!?" She snapped. I held my phone out and looked at it. "Because I don't want to bitch." It's not that didn't want to, it was cold outside and I just wanted to be laid up with her. I was actually missing this girl. " well fuck you pussy, bye!" She said hanging up. I swear I hated this bitch, she really got on my nerves. I pulled my phone out and called her. Her number wasn't saved but I remember the first few digits. I waited as it rung until it went to voicemail. Did she just send me to voicemail?. I pulled out of the parking lot as I tried to remember the directions to her house. She really sent me to fucking voicemail. Surprisingly I found her house, pulling into her long as driveway I noticed her car wasn't there. Where the fuck was she? I thought to myself. I turned my car off and tried calling her again. Straight to fucking voicemail.

           *Nats POV*
It was now almost nine as I stood up and stared at the painting. I admired the detail of her beautiful face, curly hair and jaw line. She was so damn beautiful. I felt my phone buzzing and I ignored whoever was calling me. If it wasn't Giovanni, then it wasn't no one really important, and she never called...or texted. I grabbed my keys off the counter and placed the spare key back under the mat. I jogged back to my truck as the wind picked up. I pulled my phone out and mumbled to myself. I had two missed calls from Giovanni and I missed them. How could I be so fucking stupid? I returned her calls and she picked up on the first ring. "Hello?" I said into the phone. "Where the fuck are you!?" She said screaming into the phone. "Uhhh..I'm at my lake house." I said taken back by her aggressiveness. "Come home...NOW!" She screamed into the phone before hanging up. I stared at the phone confused. What the hell got into this girl? I smirked a bit, she missed me. I started the car and sped home. I pulled into my driveway fifteen minutes later and smiled as she stood outside her car smoking. I parked behind her as she walked up to me. She was shivering a bit from the cold air. "Why didn't you wait in your car?" I asked her. She stared up at me, her brown eyes dark, burned into my soul. She inches closer to me, our faces almost touching, she looked at my lips. She did that often. I was waiting for her to kiss me but she never did. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face into my chest. "Hey." She said. I inhaled the smell of her hair as I held her back. "Hey." I said.