Home (Rockliff) #2 of broken series.

Chapter Fifteen

Rocky:

I'm not doing it. I broke down in my car, and cried basically all day. Riker's been bringing me ice cream and I haven't left my room, and I probably smell like a dead rabbit.

So I got out of bed and took a short, quick shower. Once I was done I got dressed and laid back down in bed.

But my sad aurora was broken by Riker, running into my room with something on his back, throwing the incredibly large object at me and closing the door, locking it. "I'm tired of you two fighting! I've talked to mom and dad and neither of you two are leaving until you're kissing!"

Then he walked away.

I realized that it was not an object.

It was a human.

The human.

He looked terrible. Liked he'd given up. Over this past week, he's probably been cutting again... "Go to Spain."

"No."

He looked me directly in the eyes and stared at me. "I don't love you anymore. Leave."

I gave him a sympathetic smile. "Now first, I know that's not true. And second, I'm scared to leave. Look at what happened last time I didn't have you, I broke. So therefore I'm not leaving."

He was starting to cry. "Ell, look at me."

He looked down at his bare feet, not even bothering to put any on. "No."

So I sighed and pushed him down, ripping off his shirt. Several scars looked fresh, but not to many. "Please," I begged and started to break down.

He just laid there.

I wanted to kiss him so badly. But I knew he would just shove me off. I knew he would. It's a conflicted love he has for me I know he's accepted it... it's just unwanted. But I need it. I need it to breathe. I need him in my life, next to me. He's my heartbeat.

I laid down next to him as I cried. His eyes were closed but I knew he was breathing, and I knew exactly how he felt about me.

He needed my affection in a different way then I needed his. I would still be living, but I would just lose who I am. Like the worlds male Miley Cyrus. But he wouldn't be alive, he would have killed himself.

And if he does that, I'll stay broken forever.

So he can't. We need each other, just like we need oxygen, he's my need. I need him. . .

I rolled over onto him and slipped my hands under his back. "I have died, everyday, waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid, I have loved for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more." I sang into his chest. His eyes remained in their closed state, and I rose up and down with his chest.

"Please Ellington I don't think I can do it any longer.." I whispered as tears streamed down my face.

"Do what," He whispered softy, but it had a strange angry emotion. Like he was spitting it, and that hurt.

"What's wrong?" I looked up at him ignoring the question at hand.

"You. I hate being in love with you. It's hard. Do you know how hard it is? You don't even listen to me and I know if I told people I would be hated. So don't do this to me again, don't lead me into a false sense of security," He finished.

My voice was cracking. My heart was shattering. My life line didn't love to love me. He loved me back, but he didn't love to love me back.

"Life." I answered the original question. "I don't think I can live any longer, knowing that the only one who ever really knew me doesn't want to know me. Don't you see? I break without you. Without you, I'm as good as dead," Tears were rushing down my face. "But you know, if were not together you'll kill yourself. And there's no way I'll be saved then, no way I could ever be fixed. I'd stay stupid forever.

And I'm in love with you. That's what every confusing thought in my mind has been, it's been you.

It's always been you.

So please... just stay with me."

I was crying and my eyes were bloodshot. But he, he looked perfect. Yet unmoving. So I kissed him forcefully, because he was the only thing I ever really needed.

He didn't move his lips, and my tears mixed into my lips as I tried desperately to make him understand. "Fine."

If he didn't understand... there's no point. To life, to anything.

I took out a knife I kept in my sock drawer for self defense and emergencies, and held it at my neck. I closed my eyes and counted down.

"Three."

Maybe he'll find someone else and be happy.

"Two."

Maybe my life was just a distraction from his true love.

"One."

Maybe he needs something more. More then I could ever give him. Someone who can take care of him.

"Zero."

Maybe all this time I was just really a mistake. . .

"Don't. You. Dare," He slapped the knife from my hand and shoved me at the wall, slamming his lips to mine. I held his body closer then my clothes and using his lips as a portal.

A portal back to when my biggest problem was my unrequited feelings for my bestfriend.

And in that moment, everything was perfect. It was as if my life hadn't ever been broken, and eight thousand scars before everything went wrong.

Eight thousand scars and two broken hearts earlier.

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Authors Note:

So I'm planning on writing a frickle frackle scene, later on, and I was wondering if you'd be uncomfortable if I made it so you could read it.

Oh yeah and if you say yes, I'll try to make it funny.

GUYS I'M ASKING EVERYONE THIS RIGHT NOW: What would you do if I died.

I'm kinda curious.

Also, OH MY HOLY CRAP THIS IS AT 1.3K reads! I never expected anyone to read this since I'm just a person writing at 2 AM, like people actually read this?

I don't even know why tbh.

- xoxo Robin