Hope For Ryan

(Ryan's P.O.V)

Hey guys, I have a friends who will be creating this chapter from Ryan's P.O.V, just so you get to know him. So I hope you like! Vote and comment!

I had the weirdest dream like always it really didn't bother me though. siting on my bed with nothing on but my boxers, which i wore for three days straight. i just cant seem to do anything right anymore the more i breath the more I feel as thought i am slowly fading away. Basically life sucks. Everything sucks Everyone sucks. And i  feel as though i just need an escape. A clear path to set my mind free from everything and everyone. My mother only makes things worst she is clearly convinced that I'm losing it or mostly lost it. she keeps moving us from place to place she things that it will somehow make me less disturbed but I'm afraid she is also losing it. my brokenness if you can call it that is messing up with her life and if only there was something i could do to stop all of this and be at least half normal for her sake. I will try but it seems like this thing -- whatever it is will not allow me to make any wanted or needed progress.

 I pick up my gym shorts off the ground and put my black hoodie on. i always seem cold nowadays,  strange. i guess taking a hot shower right now might not be a bad idea. putting on my Adidas's sandals i make y way down the stairs. i head straight into to the kitchen and grab the cartoon of orange juice and chug the remains of the container when i hear a knock on the door. i hear foot steps and then faint voices soon after. that's my cue to go take a shower. Hate company. " mom where are my boxer?" i demanded causing the sour after taste of the orange juice to rise. she was talking to a girl who looked looked around my age. maybe some snotty neighbor or something to the degree 

  She stared at me expectantly  as if i would supposed to greet her or something.Well i had other plans.

"where are my boxers?" i repeated. she sighed and acknowledged my presents "on the couch" .she said giving me a pointed look as if i did something wrong. Damn why am i such a jerk off. I might also have been the cause for my fathers departure. He was one of the many living things that i disliked along with trees and cat. The thing that eats me up more than my condition is people trying to help me. what the fuck is with it and people and the i can help you don't worry i understand. they don't understand they just trap you in the never ending roller coaster of charity case and despair. hoping in the shower i let the hot water rush down my face and body. its like all my problems are being washed away. But in really its just the the water cycle and all that I'm participating  soon will be replaced with a fresh batch of bullshit. turning off the water i find my way back to my room and lock it and never get out ever. Well at least i wish. Damn. Mothers.