Sour Roses

Lavender Rose

Lavender Rose:
Love at first sight

Maybe I should've been surprised. Surprised that my lungs were burning and the thorny vines that had begun to wrap around them squeezed until I couldn't breathe. Maybe I should've been surprised when I started coughing so hard my entire body shook. And maybe I should've been surprised when the first petal fell passed my lips. But I wasn't, because it was my fault.

>

My mom used to tell me when I was little that you knew you were in love whenever it stopped feeling like butterflies and started feeling like eagles.

When she told me this I didn't know that one day those eagles would terrify me.

>

Jimin come down for breakfast!" Jin screamed. Like he did at everyone every morning if we weren't downstairs in time for breakfast. Sighing I took the lavender petal in my hand with heavy heart and took it to the bathroom. Where I flushed it down and watched it spin round and round until it was gone.

Of course, I wasn't completely calm about the fact that I had just coughed out a petal, but I did know what it meant. It was simple I had Hanahaki.

>

"The Hanahaki disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals."

>

I also already knew the one responsible for my Hanahaki. It was none other than Jungkook. My bandmate, my younger, the one who stole my heart. Though it wasn't his fault that I had fallen in love with him and it wasn't his fault that he didn't love me back. But that's exactly the reason why he can't know about me having hanahaki.

I made my way downstairs to find everyone else already at the table waiting for me to start breakfast. Eyes made their way to jungkook unconsciously and found him next to taehyung, where he always seems to be lately. The both of them have been getting closer recently and I wasn't the only one to see it. The other members would always tease them calling them a couple while all I could do was stare down at my lap holding in the tears trying to bust through my eyelids for a dream that wasn't meant to be.

I took my place beside yoongi who still looked as if he was sleeping while I served myself breakfast. Jin looked at me and instantly frowned "Hey ji you have bags under your eyes, you feeling okay?" Only if you knew

I looked down to try and hide my lack of sleep and wondered if jungkook heard, but when my head turned his direction he was too busy laughing with tae to even realize that I had come downstairs. Of course, he wouldn't notice my lack of sleep. Jin was still waiting for a response from me though. 

"I had a little trouble sleeping but I'll be fine for our dance practice today" a lie He nodded obviously believing what I told him and went back to eating. I ate what little food I could stomach after my morning events, but then I could feel it. 

The petals trying to drive their way up my throat again. No No No. Tears brimmed my eyes from the burning sensation getting worse by the second. They couldn't know. I ran to the bathroom startling the yoongi who was sleeping on the table next to me and slammed the door shut.

Hunched over the toilet I retched what was supposed to be breakfast mixed together with the reminder of what would never be. There were definitely more petals than last time, and they definitely hurt more coming up then last time. 

Another wave hit me as I retched into the toilet a second time. I felt someone drawing soothing circles on my back with their hand.

Fuck

I turned around with wide and teary eyes to find yoongi staring at me with a sorrowful expression. "You left the door unlocked ji" Fuck pt.2 "i...i...please don't tell the other members!" I plead desperately. He just looks and me for a while until he sighs "Fine, I won't tell anyone-" "Thank you so much!" "You didn't let me finish. I won't tell anyone IF you tell who is causing your hanahaki" The smile that was previously on my face instantly fell. Would he judge me? Would he hate me? "It's jungkook isn't it? I see the way you look at him." I stare at him with shock. Was it really that obvious? 

"You're right it is him. But he can never know." Yoongi stared at me in a way which screamed 'Bitch ass' but he eventually agreed to not share any of what he learned today with the other members.

>

After cleaning up the mess that I had made Yoongi and I made our way back to the breakfast table where jin asked if I was still okay enough to go to dance practice. I gave him a nod in response and left to go get ready.

This was going to be a long day

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Cherish this assholes that I love because who knows when I will update again -This bitch