Broken Hearts, Best friends, and Hash Tags

Tears, bestfriends, and self hate

I kept looking into his eyes, but no matter how many times I wiped away his tears they kept streaming back "Shawn are you okay?" I say in a soft tone, "it's nothing, I just have missed you" he says again. "Shawn I haven't went anywhere, and I'm never going anywhere." I say pulling him back into a hug. "I don't understand how you can be so loving to me, when I can't even love myself right now" he says "Honey" I say backing up a bit and taking his face in my hands so that we are making perfect eye contact. "No matter what I will always feel the same for you nothing can change that, not even you sleeping with my best friend" "and how is that?" He whispered wiping his own face "don't you wish you knew" I smirk as I turn and walk out of the room, I go back by Caylah and she was sitting on the couch, "well I talked to him" I say. "Did you really?" She asks like she was excited "I did" "and how did it go?" She pressed me for more "it went well, I have missed him so much. And don't get mad but I can now remember why I began to love him" I say, she smiled "you love him? Does he know? Oooo can I tell him?" She asks her smile growing bigger with each question "yeah I think I do, and I think he might, and no!" I say. "Does he love you?" She asks I giggle "if he loved me would he have slept with you?" She looks like she was thinking it through "probably not" "exactly and that's why he will never know how I fell in love the first time he smiled at me." She looked at me her eyes glowing "that is the cutest thing I have ever heard to bad he doesn't love you back" my heart stopped how could she say that, it's one thing for me to say it but for her to, that heart breaking. "Yeah too bad" I say with a small frown "I could talk to him for you" she offers. I look at her and shake my head "you alone with him? Nah I would rather take the chance of fucking it up myself."