My model, my lover (Drarry) ✓

Chapter 18

"I'm just here to take Draco's things." Harry says, announcing his presence awkwardly. Draco's Mother nods at the unlocked cabinets filled with all kinds of art supplies, wiping away her tears and putting pictures back into photo albums.

"Are you serious." She murmurs. "About what you said. 3 days ago."

"Do you feel guilty, scared, or disgusted?" He asks.

"All. All of them." The woman looked as pale as her Son who was unwell, her hands clutching a piece of newspaper tightly, the one with a small bird sketched on the side of those lengthy, technical terms. Harry nods, packing his brushes into a small bag, making sure the bristles would not be damaged on the way. They stayed in silence, she stared at him pack while he stayed focused on the task at hand, his mind replaying what Draco had given him, in the package. A sketchbook of him, of them, each picture accompanied with words.

Title: My model, my lover.

Detailed sketch of Harry waist up, naked. -"I didn't know what to expect when I saw you. You were different, even more so when I started talking to you. What couldn't leave my mind were those green eyes. There was always something about your eyes."

Watercolour painting of Harry in math class -"I couldn't help but see more of you. In class, in the corridors, in the canteen. I don't know when the feeling of curiosity opened up a new window of possibility, when I couldn't see you was a subject matter but as a person I wanted to belong to."

Grey-scale watercolour painting of them having their first kiss -"You initiated our relationship and I couldn't be more happy to accept. When you hugged me like that, I felt protected. You made me feel special."

Watercolour painting of Harry teaching Draco math -"You ended up being the best person I've ever known. When a want became a need, I don't know. I only know that my mind started filling up with more of you everyday."

Watercolour painting of them on the hill with the birds -"You shared your secrets with me, not bothering to hide anything. Your honesty was attractive, even moreso when you were so generous, so kind. You are the bravest person I knew."

Harry working at the cafe, painted with coffee -"You never complained. At times, I thought you were unreal. How could someone put up with so much and still keep a smile on their face? I didn't understand. You reminded me to smile. You told me I was beautiful. And I believed you."

Watercolour painting of them playing the umbrella game -"You saw me at my worst, and you didn't hesitate to pick me up. From this moment, I decided I wanted to be the first one to say 'I love you'. I understood then. Nothing made me happier than when you were with me."

Sketch of Harry collecting his medals -"The whole school loved you. You couldn't chosen anyone else, any girl or boy you wanted, but you chose me. Sometimes, I think you're stupid. Why someone who would be stuck on a wheelchair? I don't know. Maybe that's the way of you silently saying 'I love you'."

Watercolour painting of them at the abandoned railways -"Remember this night? This was ours. I know you meant what you every word you said."

Grey-scale watercolour painting of Harry taking pictures of him -"But Harry, I have a condition (as you know) that will weaken me, day by day. I feel it worsening, eating me up from the inside. It's a kind of pain that I'm scared to tell people, that I'm afraid no one will understand."

Watercolour painting of Harry at the dance machine -"I won't be able to give you as much as what you deserve. I go to sleep with the fear that I won't see tomorrow. No one but you will listen to me, because I look fine. I look like a weak boy on a wheelchair, I don't look like I'm dying. But I am."

Watercolour painting of them escaping through the window -"I suspect the illness has affected my liver. I see the symptoms. Somewhere in my head, I think I know that I don't have long. And I feel selfish for holding on to you like that. But I'm scared of letting you go. If you leave, there won't be anyone for me. So when I was still okay, I wanted to make you feel happy. As much as I could."

Watercolour painting of them screaming lyrics at the top of their voices at the back of the mini truck -"Thank you for spending your time with me, for going out of your way to make me feel comfortable. To let me experience what it's like to be a healthy, normal teenager (say thanks to the others for me).

Watercolour painting of them grilling marshmallows at the beach -"Thank you for being my support and my listener, my carrier and sharer of my pain."

Watercolour painting of them at the end of the hiking trip -"Our relationship is short, so incredibly young. There were so many hard parts. But it was the best months of my life."

Watercolour painting of them hugging at the villa -"By the time you see this, I will be in the hospital, perhaps unable to move, unable to talk, maybe unable to keep my heart beating for me. I want you to know that I had a very happy life. And that I am fighting/ have fought till my last breath. I fought for us, Harry. And if I'm still around, I promise I'm fighting to see tomorrow. I love you so much. Thank you for being my model and my lover."

Scaled down painting of them in the middle of a sea of flowers, getting married -"Love, Draco."

"He smiled lesser and lesser." Draco's Mother breaks the silence, looking at her son's pictures. "In the end, he didn't even look at me."

"I thought about what you said, you know." She says, tears swirling in her bright blue eyes. "I regret it, immensely. You're right." Hardy should be saying something, he should be talking, comforting this broken women, but he couldn't. He looked back at her for what seemed like too long, and then awkwardly turning away and putting the penguin plush inside his bag.

"Thank you." She murmurs. His eyes shot up, back to her, his hand already resting on the doorknob. Her tone sounded desperate, empty and miserable. "I owe you a thanks, an apology, and a favour too big that I can't possibly return."

"It's okay." Harry says, trying to make his voice sound stronger than he actually was. He takes out a piece of tissue, offering it to her. "Stop crying. Draco will be disappointed. He's staying strong, fighting. You can't give up on him before he gives up on himself. He can hear you, you know."

"The nurse told me his condition only improves when you talk to him." Draco's Mother swallows her tears, her voice raspy, accepting the tissue quickly. "I thought you should know." He nods stiffly before leaving, giving her some room and privacy to think.

—————
"I signed for you already." Ella says, patting his back and smiling.

"Thank you." He drops the bag of his possessions on the bed, the things he brought for Draco packed neatly into the cupboards. Other than the penguin, of course, which lay beside him. Ron pulls him into a hug violently, the too-big hospital robes almost slipping off his shoulders.

"You scared?" He asks. Harry shrugs, not knowing how to feel. He didn't feel scared, although he probably should be. There was going to be this mark stretching across the middle of his torso, forever.

"You ready?" A kind female nurse asks, smiling. He nods. "Follow me."

"Bye Harry. Happy birthday in advance." His Friend say as he followed her into the operation theatre, Draco's bed moving beside him.

As the doctor prepared the anastatic, Harry slips his hand around Draco's arm, smiling. "You'll be okay in a while." He whispers under his breath.

"Lie down for me." He says. A thin needle enters his skin and a few seconds later, he falls into a deep sleep.