Falice: From A to Z

Elope

Summary: Basically it starts like this: "We need to get married."

"Um why?"

And then it escalates from there.

Rating: M. Younglings, avert your eyes. There will be sex. Lots of it. 

Genre: Romance/Drama

Notes: When I originally posted it to AO3, I split it into 5 chapters, but I'm keeping it as a gigantic 12k word one-shot because that's the way it was written. 

Also note that I hadn't finished S2 when this was written, so the timeline is a little off. 

~~Elope~~

"We need to get married."

The words tumble out of Alice's mouth as soon as FP lets her through his door. Her simple demand is the last thing he expected to hear in the middle of the week when the sun is at its highest point. She's standing there in the middle of his trailer in a black pinstripe suit, no blouse, a gold chain tempting his eyes down to her cleavage. At first glance, she seems composed, like she had long ago decided that there is nothing left to discuss. But there is something hiding behind the turbulent ocean in her eyes. It almost looks like fear.

"Um, why?" he stammers because nothing about this situation is making any sense.

Alice puts her hands on her hips and narrows her eyes. "Apparently, my serial killer ex-husband is quite knowledgeable about Riverdale's criminal activities and is using it to negotiate a plea deal."

FP frowns, still not totally understanding how that led to her proposing in the most demanding way possible.

She continues, her calm facade slowly breaking, each word more desperate than the last. "FP, he knows I hid a body. He thinks Betty has nothing to do with it, and he doesn't know about your involvement but if they investigate me, they'll investigate you and-" a sob escapes. "I couldn't live with that."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, when she opens them, her steely resolve is back and so is the speech FP knows she practiced in her head all morning.

"FP, if we get married, we'll have spousal privileges."

Comprehension hits him like a runaway train. If they married, they wouldn't have to testify against each other. He has no idea what say that will make her stop watching him so expectantly.

Maybe she was expecting some form of resistance on his part, that he would tell her that this was a stupid plan, that it would still look suspicious since the ink on their divorce papers have just dried. Also what about the kids? It always ends up being about the kids.

But they'd be no good to their kids from prison and Alice is standing in front of him asking him -no telling him-to marry her.

"Stop gaping like a fish and say something," she snaps. She's getting impatient and he doesn't blame her. She's gone out on a limb and he's scratching his brain with nothing to say other than --

"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay, I'll marry you."

Alice blinks. "Well, good. We're on the same page."

"I always imagined the day when you'd go down on one knee, but this works too," he shrugs, holding back a grin as she shoots daggers at him. "So how do you want to do this, Alice? What about a big spring wedding next May? Or a fall wedding by the river? Just think of the pictures!"

Alice grimaces. "FP, we don't have time for that. We need to get married as soon as possible."

"Won't that be suspicious?"