Moving||C.M

8

I do not comprehend what I have done, until our lips have left from their place. I stand for a moment, now what?

"I, um, I think I need a moment."

"No, don't you push me away again."

"Leave me alone, please."

"Majora–"

"I said leave me alone."

Tears spring to my eyes as quickly run away and down the narrow hallway, it was empty and quiet. The only sound to be heard were those of my sobs and the blood rushing in my head, why am I like this? Everyone always dreams of becoming well known, many people want what I have, so why is there this empty feeling buried in my stomach? The deep drowning I am feeling like I cannot push to the surface from being buried alive or the heavy weight on my chest that keeps me under.

That hopeless feeling.

Entering into the stairwell I slam the door behind me, slumping into a corner and the breakdown I have been holding back is finally rearing it's ugly head. After all these years, I still let my mother run my life, I let Chris down..I let myself down. The sadness keeps eating at me as I heard the taps of footsteps coming up the stairwell. "Taking pity on yourself?" I feel my anger boil inside of me and I am ready to scream at the person who had dared to talk to me in the state I am in, but when I look up Hunter isn looking down upon me sadly. He sighs and slowly sits down next to me, I sniffle once more before I wipe my tears away quickly.

"What was Chris like?"

"Hm?"

"Like when you both started dating and being together."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"It might distract you."

"Why are you such a pest?"

Hunter looks down at his hands then back up to the stairs that lead to the next floor. "So, no story?" I take in a sharp breath to calm myself and to make sure I will not cry again before looking at my little brother.

"He was definitely one of the most caring men I had met, he was rare, a guy you couldn't find just anywhere. He was a gentlemen, he always looked out for me and made sure I was healthy. He would open doors, take my coat, and all of what comes with basic manners. He would comfort me when I needed it, like that time before a big photoshoot."

"Can you tell me about it?"

xxx
**One Year Ago

"You want me to do what?"

"Wear this, I don't see the problem, Majora. You're character is a basic seductress, how is this any different?"

"I-I'm not in character, I'm myself there is a huge difference! I don't want to wear that for this shoot, surely you can come up with something that is not women's sleepwear."

"How do you expect to make it in this business then?"

The question had hit me hard, I was just a rising star on my second movie, my designer was right..How would I make it? I took the clothing, the movie had been different, the outfits had more to then then this and I had been at a nice weight. Recently, I had gained a few pounds, Chris insists it's not noticeable at all..But I look into the mirror everyday, it is noticeable to me. I was not as confident in my own body as I used to be, there were even rumors I was pregnant when I had worn a tight dress to a red carpet event after i had gained around six pounds. The press were hellbent on anything they could be, including my personal life and my weight.
Dropping weight was hard too, I was often busy doing countless things from being Chris's girlfriend all the way up to finishing up school.

"Please, excuse me." I walked passed Chris, who could always see when something was not right with me. He came to every shoot when his schedule allowed, to support or help me in any way he could. I entered the dressing room and heard him enter shortly after as well. I put my head in my hands to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks. A hand was placed on my back and it gently started to rub my shoulder. "Hey, you want to tell me what's going on?" I took in a big breath before turning to him and swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Chris..I can't."

"You can't what?"

"I can't do any of this."

He quickly took me into his arms as soon as my quiet crying had turned into ugly sobs. I could not even speak as I tightly held onto him and cried, my whole body begun to shake and rack as I cried and cried. I felt us both begin to sink to the ground, we stayed there like that for quite a while. He just held me close to him as we sat on the floor, he did not talk, he just let me cry. After what could have easily been ten minutes, I had managed to calm down and Chris wiped my tears from my cheeks. "You dummy, you're makeup is a mess." He laughed and I laughed too, his laughter and smile were always so contagious.

"You don't have to do this, but if you want to do it, I will be there the whole time. I'll be at your beck and call, if you need me just to kiss or hug you in that moment, I will. If you need me to cover you up in between pictures, I will. Or if you just need to look at me for reassurance, I will be there. Your body is beautiful, I love you now and I'd love you even if you were a hundred pounds overweight. You're the most beautiful woman I know, you are so confident too. I am here, and I will support you everyday, no matter what. Do you understand?"

I nodded before getting up and looking in the mirror. I started jumbling through drawers, searching and looking.

"Now, what are you doing?"

"If I am going to do this then my makeup needs to look good."

xxx

"He always supported me..." I whisper to Hunter, I look down at my ring finger, I had hoped to one day fill it with a ring from Chris. "He's a good man, he was my favorite boyfriend that you had." I nod as I think on what I was about to do.
"It's time I supported him.."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I'm staying on this tour rather or mother likes it or not."