Why us? Why me?

The life I'm supposed to lead

My parents demand perfection. I'm anything but that.  I'm more interested in pretending I have friends and trying to get a boyfriend then do what They say.

When I say my parents demand perfection, they demand perfection. If I'm not at the top in anything I die, it seems good at first.
'oh least your parents actually care about how well you do sometimes people don't even care'
Yeah it's fine until you want anything, it drives me insane so much that sometimes I just feel like giving up because everything has got too much again.

I recently turned 15, most normal 15 year olds will ask for there room re-done or some expensive item of clothing. I just wanted one friend to care enough to say happy birthday, I got 2 in the end. The worst thing is walking into school knowing your going to get ignored, called names and blanked. It's almost like I don't exist that's how unpopular I am. My parents are like,
'it doesn't matter just carry on with your work you don't need people'

*Sigh*

********

It's Saturday, I woke up feeling utterly depressed for no reason and decided to mope around the house all day because I can't be bothered. I'm dreading school and feel like crawling In a hole and never coming out. Yay.

I try and keep myself to myself, know one knows my background and no one knows what I suffer from...I suffer from depression, anxiety and life. Sometimes things just don't seem to be worth living for. Today is one of those days.

I grab my phone charger, a good pair of earphones and run up the stairs. I shut my door and sit on my bed, a heavy uncontrollable flood starts coming out my eyes. I wish people cared enough to help me