He's A Controller (Muselk X Reader) {Completed}

✨The Walk IIII✨

Your P.O.V
(WARNING!!! THIS CHAPTER IS VERY DEPRESSING AND GIVES THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE AND SAD THOUGHTS. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THAT, YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY OTHER CHAPTERS. THANK YOU!)

I paced around in my room for minutes on end, thinking about breaking down a way to tell Elliot that I'm not going on the walk, but how? I mean, he was so happy when I agreed to it and after everything until now I managed to agree. It's going to hurt him, isn't it?

It didn't matter, I need to tell him. Whether it hurts him or not.

I snapped back into realization and raced downstairs, he was sitting at the dining room table talking to Avaline. I took a deep breath before confronting him. I walked up to him, crossed my arms and huffed.

"I'm not going on the walk anymore". I announce, I clear my throat afterwards and Elliot nods.

"Okay". He said, he looked at Avaline with a smirk.

Okay...? Is he joking?

"Yeah, Okay..." I scoff, walking away. I then stop, I was not going to take his "Okay" lightly.

I walk back over to him and put my hands on my hips. "Do you even care that I'm not gonna go?".

"Well, I really want you to go". He said, he stood up. "But I can't force you". He took Avaline's hand as she stood beside him.

"Yeah, plus, we'd like our alone time." Avaline added. "It's better with less people".

I stitched my eyebrows together and grabbed Elliot by the arm, pulling him into the living room. I made sure Avaline wasn't following and of course she was.

"Can you give us a second, PLEASE?" I ask, she rolled her eyes.

"I don't take orders from a snotty bitch like yo-" Avaline begin, before she could finish. Elliot told her to give us a second, as she walked away. I grabbed the nearest vase and threw it at the wall.

"Y/N?!?" Elliot shrieked "WHAT IS YOUR DEAL?!"

"YOU ARE SUCH A JERK!" I clench my fists and tears begin to form. "YOU TOLD ME THAT I WAS SPECIAL TO THE CREW AND THAT I BELONG ON THAT WALK! AND NOW BECAUSE THAT WHORE SHOWED UP, IM NOT SPECIAL ANYMORE?!" I scream.

"Y/N! That's not the case!" He snapped. "She wants to spend more alone time with me! And your getting in the way of it!"

"ME?!" I retort

"Yes you! You keep calling her names and flipping her off and shit!" He exclaimed. "That's why she doesn't like you!"

"I HAVE BEEN HERE LONGER THEN SHE HAD!" I scorn. "I THOUGHT I MATTERED?!"

"Y/N! You are special, and I love you as a dearest friend. But, you can't keep doing this!"

"Doing what? Fighting for someone I love?!"

He paused and sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"You can't keep pulling me aside and yelling at me, I'm happy with Avaline. Not you". He said lightly, he walked away back into the dining room. Leaving me in tears as I ran upstairs and into my bedroom. I sat down on the ground, crying.

For once in my life, I felt the most hopeless. The most, saddened. I felt, heartbreak. Something that I haven't felt in a long damn time. It reminded me of my ex, Charles Brooks. He was a pretty boy, a football player. He was my everything. Until one day he took me out into the field and broke up with me. The reason he did? For another girl. She was so gorgeous. A perfect body, amazing house, she was super smart. She was the perfect package. I don't blame him for leaving me for her.

Though, I blamed myself. I went into a large state of depression and scarred myself daily. After awhile I got into counseling and managed to get a hold of my life again. I then graduated, and finally decided what to do with the rest of my life and that was traveling and doing YouTube. Then I met Elliot, because my cousin, Drake Jones, had known him for a long time.

Then, Elliot invited me into the crew and I became Y/U/N (YouTube User Name).

I was so fucking happy, everything was perfect and then I developed a huge crush on Elliot and now everything I've been through is happening all over again.

The biggest question that's always pounding at my head is. "Should I leave?" And it gives me chills and thoughts of sadness. Old memories I had of being here.

Plus, my fans. They'd be disappointed. They'd leave me. I mean, how did I even gain all of them? I'm worthless. I mean, really, if I was gone. Would he even care?

Then, my door opens. Brodey walks in and he closes the door.

"Y/N....". He says, he sits down beside me and hugs me. "Elliot told me what happened".

I sniffle and wipe my tears away. "Good for him". I mumble. Brodey pulls me closer. "I bet if I slit my throat and was gone, he'd be happier".

Brodey pushed me away. "I can't believe you just said that".

"What?" I say annoyed "It's true".

"Fuck no it isn't true! Y/N, you are the most amazing girl I have ever fucking met! Your smart, beautiful, talented, funny! You are the perfect package! A Ray of sunshine and if you ever left this world, we and everyone else would be fucking devastated!" He yelled "Do you have any fucking idea how much you've impacted our lives! You've made me more happier! You inspired me to start drawing again! You've inspired all of these fucking people in this damn house and out in the world outside!"

He looked at me and held my hands. "You are worth it, you're beautiful, you are you". He held my hands tighter. "Don't you ever say those words again, do you hear me?"

I nod. He pulls me closer again and rubs my back slowly. "You're gonna have bad days, but trust me. Everything will get better".

He begins to hum lightly and he kisses the top of my head. I look up at him.

"Thank you". I say with a smile.

(Hi! I just want to say, if you're dealing with depression or you feel hopeless. You are an amazing human being, you are special, unique. Because, there is not another copy of you. You are made up of unique features and every single feature is beautiful in its own way. You're flaws are beautiful, embrace them. You are amazing, beautiful, smart, talented and you will discover all of those things in your life. You will have bad days and bad moments but everything will get better. Trust me, I've been through this before. I know you can break through, because, I care, you're family, you're friends, and everyone cares about you. Please, never forget that. I love you).

Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255)
(Please, don't harm yourself or attempt suicide. You are an amazing human being. Things will get better for you. I love you.)