Sad

Chapter 1

I woke up with the sound of our dishes breaking, and my mom and dad's voices, cursing at each other. They kept fighting over money, my dad's mistress, the house and most especially about me.

I curled up into a ball again and started tearing up, I should be used to it by now but no, it's hard to wake up every morning like this, I wish I could just stay here forever. I shouldn't have woken up and continued my sleep forever, that would be better and more peaceful. But sadly I can't, I don't have the guts to do anything to myself.... yet.

"Lalisa! Get your ass down here or do you want me drag you again by your hair? I'm hungry already!" My sister shouted from the kitchen. I quickly stood up and tied my hair quickly and went to the kitchen to make their breakfast.

"What took you so long? You know I have work to do and needed to be there within an hour!" My sister shouted at me and slapped me in the face. I fell down because of the impact, but I didn't shed a tear because they honestly wouldn't care at all.

Suddenly I felt my hair being pulled up. It was painful and I was already getting dizzy. I didn't even eat last night since nothing was left for me to eat and was so tired so I just ended up sleeping while crying again.

"Hurry the fuck up already! I need to go now!"

I didn't say a word and proceeded to making breakfast. When mom came in, she looks very exhausted and irritated, probably because dad walked out on her again.

"What's with all the commotion in here again?" she asked getting angry again.

"Lisa is being lazy here and won't make us breakfast, and I'm already late for work!"

"Lisa hurry up already, you know your sister can't be late for her work and she can't go on an empty stomach!" She said and pushed me. My sister has always been my parents favorite, they give her anything she wants and spoils her to death. While me, they treat me as if I'm not part of the family, they order me around like a slave, threatens me when I don't do what they say, and hurt me when they get irritated.

I wanted to get out of this house when I finish school so that I can get out of this misery but I'm still 15 and have to wait more.

After serving them breakfast and earning a few shouts and curses, I went to school, late again. But my teachers know about my situation and they felt bad for me that's why they just let it slide when I'm late every morning.

"Oh look! It's the freak again from Thailand! Go back to your country freak! We don't want you here."

"Look at her coming here late again, of course being the teachers favorite and all."

"She probably sleeps with them that's why, and why she has really good grades too."

It has become normal for me to come to school hearing these from my classmates. Ever since my family moved here to Seoul I've been getting bullied wherever I go, that's why I never had friends, the only friend I had was in Thailand and we barely communicate to each other since he is also very busy with his studies there.

I went to my seat and just mind my own business like I usually do but one student threw a crumpled paper at me and when I open to read it, it says, 'do everyone a favor and go kill yourself' I smiled sadly at the message. Because I knew that it will indeed do everyone a favor and also me.

I wanted to be free too. From my family, the school, my misery. Every time I cry I would always have a blade with me and cut my wrist just to divert the pain I was feeling. It felt good that with every cut I start to forget about my miseries even for just a few minutes or hours. It felt heaven for me.

After school I went back to our house and the first thing I saw was dad leaving and mom crying begging for him not to do it. I just look at them with no emotions on my face and turn to another direction cause I know that my mom will hurt me again especially now that dad left the house already, probably to be with his mistress.

I went to a nearby river and sat there and cried again. While crying I kept looking at the river with hope in my eyes. What if I drown myself and then get killed since it was autumn already and the water should be cold enough for me not to survive.

But I saw a group of men who were probably drunk and was going to walk pass me. I became a little scared because they'll probably do something to me since I'm alone and it was already dark.

And my thoughts were right when they stopped in front of me. There were 4 of them and they reek of alcohol. One man suddenly held my arm and tried pulling me closer to them when I felt that I was being pulled back again. And there I saw a guy probably in his mid 20's already looking at the drunk guys while holding my shoulder.

"Leave the girl alone or do you want me to call the police?" As soon as he said that the guys hurriedly walk away from me.

"You shouldn't be out at this time of the night or you'll get in trouble. If I hadn't come who knows what they could've done to you." He said that. I apologize and thanked him for saving me. But I didn't really need saving, I was beyond salvation already. I'm just waiting for the right moment.