CEO's Bartender

Chapter Three

"How did you get in here?" I hiss. "You left the door unlocked." Ryder responds. "Okay, here's a better question. How do you know where I live?" I retort. "Want to close the door or just stand there all night?" Ryder says changing the subject as he motions to me.

I roll my eyes and close the door, turning back around to see Ryder has taken a seat on the couch. "I've got connections, plus your boss owed me a favor." Ryder says. He removes his blazer, revealing the white dress shirt beneath it whilst laying the blazer over the armrest.

"Why did you come here?" I ask lowly. Ryder glances at me before returning his steamy gaze to the walls of my apartment. "We slept together and you left, why?" he asks. My cheeks redden at his honest statement, I cast my gaze down to my shoes.

I can imagine the hurt look on Theo's face. My imagination puts the faint smell of cigarette smoke in the air, Theo always smelled like cigarette smoke. "It was a mistake." I mutter. I walk into the kitchen, feeling my chest tighten with each step closer.

Black dots dance across my vision and I hear Ryder get up to follow me. I rummage through the drawers until I find what I'm looking for. I down two pills with a glass of water. Almost immediately the darkness at the edges of my vision recede as I lean against the counter.

Ryder watches uncertainly from the doorframe, "Please leave." I say quietly. My wrists burn and the voice in the back of my mind says I deserve it. "What's happening?" Ryder asks. "It's none of your concern, now please just leave and forget anything happened." I say.

Ryder doesn't say anything else and soon his footsteps retreat back into the living room. I hear the door open. The silence engulfs me once more and I see Theo standing in Ryder's place in the doorway, a hurt look pulling at his features as he watches me.

He stands to his full height and disappears down the hallway, motioning for me to follow him. We walk into the bathroom and I open the drawer, Theo tells me to take the razor and I obey. I situate myself in the bathtub with my head leaning against the wall tiles.

I bring the thin blade to my wrist, eyeing the scars that are already there.  I press the blade to my skin, watching as crimson wells up around it. I barely feel the sting as I bring it across my wrist. The next cut is deeper and I feel it more, my fingers are slick with blood.

Tears blur my vision as I make a third cut, and a fourth and a fifth. By now my head is swimming and I can barely keep myself away, my shirt is stained red and the bottom of the tub is littered with stray drops of blood. I put the razor down and slowly stand to my feet.

The entire room tilts sideways and I use my good hand to support my weight. I grab a roll of bandages from the sink and wrap them thickly around my wrist until no blood seeps through. I throw the ruined shirt into the trash and walk unsteadily to my bedroom.

I fall forward on the bed and easily fall asleep, although it'll probably qualified as passing out from blood loss...

*** *** ***

I wake up to the sun shining in my face, I groan and roll over. The gauze on my wrist is soaked through so I get up and change them carefully, thankful that the blood has slowed to a trickle. I walk sluggishly through my apartment to the kitchen to make coffee.

A loud knock sounds on my door and I walk across the living room to open it. Avery stands there with her hands on her hips and an angry expression on her face. I wince, "You called me, didn't you?" I ask. "Yes, and you didn't call me back." Avery states.

"I was tired, I fell asleep." I lie. Avery walks past me into the living room and peers around the room suspiciously. "Did you have any company last night?" she asks. "No." I lie again. Theo calls me a liar but ignore him, "I got home around three and passed out." I say.

It's not a lie, I did get home around three and I did pass out. "Really? Because I got a call from Ryder Matthews, he said you were acting funny when he left." Avery says. I freeze, "That son of a bitch. So he came over last night and we talked, I told him to leave and he did." I explain.

"Is that all you did?" Avery asks with a raised eyebrow. My cheeks redden, "What is it with and my sex life?" I ask. "You haven't had one since Theo, it means you're moving on." Avery says, obliviously to how it affects me. I tear my gaze away from her and stare at the floor.

"So I haven't been telling you about certain things." I say. "What certain things? What happened?" Avery asks. Every hint of playfulness is gone from her tone, replaced with worry. "Did you start cutting again?" she asks, her gaze on my bandaged wrist.

I move my hand to hide my wrist as Avery reaches for it, she yanks it to her and peels back the bandages. Her face is unreadable as she lets my hand drop, "You promised." she says. Her voice is hollow as she glances at me, tears brimming her eyes.

"Dammit Sebastian! You promised me you'd never do it again!" she shouts. She allows herself to collapse onto the couch, "I knew him to you know...he was my brother." she says. I hurriedly bring her a mug of hot water from the kitchen and a tea bag.

"God, he loved you so much." she murmurs. Tears are running down my face now, "He loved you too you know. Everyday he made a point to call you." I say quietly. Avery laughs, although it's a hollow noise that only seems to dampen our moods further.

Avery wipes the tears away from her eyes, she gives me a watery smile as she stands up. "He wouldn't have wanted us to cry over him. He'd never have allowed us to stay in and mope of a Friday night." she says. She offers me her hand and pulls me up off the couch.

"We are going to honor Theo by doing what he would've done, he would've taken us out to party and forget our worries." Avery says. She nudges me towards my bedroom, "Put on something worth clubbing in and we're going to go get drunk." Avery says...