Not Never (Sample of Published Book)

Chapter 5 - Part 1

It was all over school the next day. Ashley felt nervous as she walked through the front entrance, wondering if her guilt shone like a beacon for all to see, but no one pointed the finger at her.

"Did you hear what happened?" Diane asked as she joined Ashley by her open locker.

Ashley was trying to act normal and hide the fear that someone would figure out it had been her. If Noah hadn't seen her, then no one else would know. Well, except for Maddox, and he wouldn't say anything since it would implicate himself, so she was safe.

Speaking of Maddox, she hadn't seen him yet this morning. Not that she wanted to admit she had been looking.

"Yeah," Ashley replied, closing her locker. "He must have pissed off someone."

Diane smiled. "If I knew who was responsible, I'd thank them. It made my day." She still wore the heartache on her sleeve, but unlike before, there was now a glint of rebellion in her eyes. If egging Noah's car had put that there, Ashley was glad she had done it—and, given the opportunity, she would do it again.

"You see Sally?" Ashley asked, wondering why their friend hadn't responded to her messages. Her eyes scanned the students that approached in the hallway as she searched for her missing friend. When her eyes met with Maddox's, she felt a jolt of something. Her heart raced as she took a breath. He was walking toward her with his friends. They were talking but his attention was on her. The directness of his gaze made her uncomfortably hyper-aware of how much he could affect her with just a look. There was a whisper of a smile on his lips. It was for her. It reminded her that only the two of them knew about what they had done. It was something they shared, their little secret.

After he passed, Diane leaned closer as they walked. "What was that?"

Her question took Ashley by surprise.

"Um...it's nothing," Ashley mumbled, not ready to reveal anything about Maddox just yet.

While Diane studied her directly, she shrugged. "I don't know."

Ignorance seemed to be the easiest option. She hoped her brush-off was enough to appease Diane so they could move on to another subject.

"Have you spoken to Sally?" Ashley asked, still allowing her gaze to sift through the sea of students, hoping to see the familiar face of her friend. She didn't want to talk about Maddox.

"She said she'd be here today," Diane said, keeping in step with her. "She called me from home. Apparently, she dropped her phone and broke it."

That sounded like their friend. She was so accident prone, Ashley had no idea how she managed to get through the day without doing any real damage, although she was regularly covered in bruises from bumping into things.

"I can't say I'm surprised."

And then Ashley spotted her friend's familiar face and she moved out of the rush of students to greet her.

"Sorry I missed the frog thing yesterday," Sally said, sounding out of breath.

"It's fine. I had someone to help me." She felt Diane's eyes on her while she spoke, but she didn't want to elaborate on who it had been. It would only make them curious and she didn't even exactly know how to explain it. He was a subject that was off limits to anyone.

This thing they were doing wouldn't last forever, and when it ended, he would go back to being an acquaintance and she would go back to her life before him—minus the need to get a thrill from standing on a cliff.

"How're you feeling?" Diane asked.

"It was just a twenty-four-hour bug, but I'm fine." But she still looked a little pale.

"Are you sure you should be back at school?" Ashley asked.

"I'm better, besides I didn't want to miss out on any more school."

Sally was super bright, so it wasn't surprising she was an over-achiever. There wasn't much she didn't excel at. She was beautiful with emerald eyes and shoulder-length black hair, but she was always too busy with school to notice how the guys checked her out.

Ashley's mind drifted back to Maddox and that familiar feeling he created in her. She forced her mind back to Logan, her boyfriend, the guy she should be thinking about. But Logan didn't tie her up in knots like a certain troublemaker did.

While they walked Sally to her locker, Diane relayed the story of Noah's car getting egged. Sally giggled. "I wish I could've seen his face."

Ashley bit her tongue to stop herself from revealing that it had been worth it.

She found herself sneaking glances in Maddox's direction throughout the morning. She didn't like how even subconsciously she looked for him when he was in the room. Other than their brief locking of gazes in the hallway that morning, Maddox didn't look in her direction for the rest of the day. It shouldn't have mattered, but Ashley couldn't ignore the disappointment. Even the presence of Logan at their table at lunchtime hadn't stopped her eyes from drifting to find Maddox at his usual table. What was wrong with her?

Logan's sweet speech the day before should have tugged at her heart strings if she truly cared, but it hadn't. All it did was remind her how he didn't make her feel the way Maddox did. Her internal struggle and being ignored by Maddox had soured her mood.

Ashley was annoyed and irritated by the time she made it home.

"Answer me!" her mother's voice carried through the house as Ashley reached the front door. She hesitated, unsure if she could deal with this on top of everything else.

"It was nothing," her father yelled, sounding exasperated.

They were at it again. One night of peace and quiet and they were back to arguing again. It was disappointing, even when she had given up any hope that they would be able to sort out their issues and coexist in some sort of harmony.

With her current mood, she couldn't deal with it. Slowly, she backtracked a couple of steps, trying to decide where to go. She would have gone straight to her usual spot before, but this time she hesitated.

She could call Diane and go to her, but she wasn't exactly in the right mood to deal with someone sensitively, so that wasn't an option either. She considered calling Sally, but she had looked tired and pale. She was probably at home catching up on schoolwork or in bed, and Ashley didn't want to disturb her. It didn't leave her with a lot of options.

Feeling more despondent, she returned to her car and placed her school bag in the trunk before walking toward the woods. It was late afternoon, but she didn't care. She couldn't go back to her house feeling the way she currently did. She just needed a quiet spot for a little while to sort her emotions out and then, when she was ready, she would go home.

The walk wasn't long and soon she found herself standing in her usual spot. But this time the edge didn't hold the same appeal that it had all the times before. She sat down under the nearest tree and leaned her back against the trunk. Staring ahead, she let out a heavy sigh as she crossed her legs. She admired some white daisies nearby.

In the quiet, she played with the grass as she thought about her parents. She couldn't make them like each other and she couldn't stop them from fighting.

Her mind wandered to Logan. She couldn't make herself feel something for him even if she wanted to. It wasn't something within her control.

Then her mind moved on to the dark-haired boy who had winked at her mischievously. Just thinking about him did funny things to her insides. She felt something for him, even if she couldn't name it. He was unexpected, an anomaly she didn't know how to handle. She doubted anyone really knew how to handle Maddox Larson.

She pulled her legs up to her chest and looked out over the peaceful forest as she allowed herself to think about the troublemaker from her school.

She didn't like the fact that he had practically ignored her today. His presence in her life had been unwanted and intrusive but now that he wasn't taking active interest in her, she should have been relieved. But she wasn't.

What the hell was wrong with her?