The Forever

The blistering sun hit my face, a dancing constellation of light in front of my eyes. The smoky scent of blood, sweat and tears over through the pain I feel. What I feel can only be describe as death coming to take me, triggering through my body, my chest burned with fire as if I've been bulldozed. With every gnarly movement I sink deeper in the cold mud. In the corner of my eye I can see that we have won the fight, my fellow comrades celebrating in the distance. I feel my end coming close as my team turned to see me on the lifeless, cold and bloody ground, they begun to run over to me. With that taking my last breathe I smiled looking back up to the sun and said, “Forever”.

I stood, placing my hands over all parts of my body to see if I was still live, I sighed in relief it must had been a dream. I've been having terrible dreams lately the ones that end with me dying scary me the most because I’ll never see my wife and child again. I looked up at the sky as the sun was getting replaced with howling winds and dark clouds. A drop of rain hit my cheek as I looked down hearing my comrades sobbing my name, threatening me if I didn’t wake up they’d kill me themselves. This is when I realised I was truly dead.

My lifeless body just laid there. I watched as Noah my friend since forever try CPR on me again and again but I didn’t respond. I yelled at them to look up... to see me but they didn’t. They couldn’t hear me I was dead. With frustration I screamed up at the heavens, “Please I beg of you, please don’t let me die without seeing my family one lasted time”. With that his answer came with powerful rains enough to fill an ocean with massive claps of thunder. I was gone and I was helpless to do anything to change it.

I closed my eyes falling to my knees tear drops rolling down my face. When I opened my eyes I wasn’t in Syria but in a place dark, cold and lifeless – I've heard of it when I was still alive Catholic’s call it Limbo. Limbo is a region on the border of hell and heaven. Now the only way out is to have no guilt of leaving my family behind: to get a message to them, that I’ll be okay. I walked straight to what I thought was the light but all it was, was a white door in a dark place. I slammed the door with my hand leaning my head on it, closing my eyes to calm myself.

I opened my eyes to an unclear but familiar voice as if she was speaking to me. I placed my ear to the door unsure where it was coming from. I chill ran down my spine when I realised it was my wife Evelyn who was as beautiful as nature itself talking to our baby boy Caleb that is almost two years old. I remember promising Evelyn that I would be home for Caleb’s birthday. Syria was meant to be my last tour before retiring; I only had 3 weeks and 2 days left. A tear came streaming down my face, as I reached out for the door knob and pushed it open. Standing before me as if it was a dream Evelyn was there playing with Caleb in our living room floor. I walked through the door hoping they would see me. As I stepped in our living room the doorbell rang, loud and clear through the house. Evelyn jumped up, picking up Caleb with both hands, saying to him cheerfully “I wonder if that’s daddy surprising us on this beautiful day”. She was right it was a beautiful day but I'm not sure if this was going to be the surprise she wanted, another tear rolled down my cheek.

Before Evelyn opened the door she took a deep breath then smiled. Her expression dropped when she saw it was Noah dressed in his full uniform standing with an old priest dressed in black and white robes. Noah’s eyes were red from crying. Of all the years knowing Noah I’ve only witnessed him cry once before, when his mother passed and swore never to again. Evelyn noticed it as well and her eyes filled with tear ready to pour out as she hugged Noah tightly, as she knew what was coming. She led them inside to the living room holding back her tears as she sat down on the single lounge to hear the fate of her world as it crashes around her.

“Please sit”, Evelyn said cheerless then before, gesturing to the lounge. Noah and the priest both sat on the lounge.

“Evelyn we are here to regretfully inform you of the passing of Captain Mason Carter... we are very sorry for your loss Mrs Carter, he was a great solider and will be missed greatly”, said the old priest. A few moments fell, and then Evelyn began to cry heavily Noah stood and kneeled down beside her.

“Every solider has a letter... and a friend that must always promise to give this to their love ones. I was Mason’s and I'm here to give this to you, Mason would wanted to you have it.” Noah said struggling to hold   back the tears after every word he spoke. Evelyn wiped her eyes with her back of her hand clutching onto the letter and opened it. She read my letter sobbingly;

To My Dearest Soul Mate Evelyn,    

                         If you’re reading this it means I have died trying to make this world a better place for you and Caleb. I'm so sorry that I'm leaving you this way; just know that I love you both deeply more than life itself. Don’t be sad I'm gone now be happy to know I'm here forever watching over you both guiding you as you me. You are more beautiful than the definition of love.  Before I met you I believe that true love didn’t exist that it was existent, but when you fell in my hands you made me believe, believe that I could love someone so much that it hurts.  I will never ever forget our treasured memories and the love we shared through our amazing, hard and tough times, I will always love you. Tell Caleb that I love him so much, teach him to be strong like his old man; teach him everything I would’ve, now that I cannot, because one day he too will be a father and the best of them. Let Noah know he has been the best of friends and I will never forget his friendship.  I promised you a forever and I will give it to you one day but just not in this lifetime, I love you with all my heart FOREVER.     

                        - MASON     

As Evelyn finished she wiped her eyes one more time and smiled. I walked up kneeling behind her from where I was standing in the shadows. I placed my mouth close to her ear and whispered, “Forever”. As I did she shivered as if I chill ran down her spine. Caleb looked up at me pointing pushing Evelyn’s arm and said, “Dada look mamma Dada”. 

With that I stood turning to see a bright dazzling light I began to walk to it, when I heard Evelyn voice again, I turned and she was smiling eyes still wet with tears, “Don’t forget Mason forever is a long time, I love you”, she said as if she could see me standing before her.

“Yes I know I love you both I’m sorry that I have to leave but I will always be waiting… ”, I replied smiled then turned. Big, tall trees appeared on both sides of me guiding me to the light as I walked closer and closer, the trees dancing in the summer sun. With my last look back at Caleb and Evelyn, Evelyn said “Forever”, eyes pinned on mine. Then I turned grinning from ear to ear and walked into the hazy light.