Behind The Lense (Harry Styles love story)

Random Encounter

I hear an almost ninja-like code sound at the door as I sit on the couch and read an old Stephen King book. I'm so sick of TV, when you are on a tour cable becomes your best friend then washes away just like all the other annoying ones that you get sick of. I stiffle a laugh just thinking about my comparison then feel an unsettling drop land in my stomach. I can't even think about being mean to someone because they are annoying but sincerely nice. I never did that in high school or in middle school...or ever. Harry's a different story though, I'm not..wasn't mean to him because he was annoying it was because he cheated on one of my best friend's Poppy Newhart, and that made all my respect for him be thrown out the window. It's too sad and disturbing of a story to even bring up again. All I know is after Harry "broke up" with her she moved to California to get as far away from him as possible (she could've moved farther though). Even now when I think about him cheating it's sends a whole bunch of emotions jumping around my body and taking over. But I try not to think about it and or be jealous whenever he talks to another girl, because I know he's different than that. Even if no one else believes me.

Right now we are staying in yet another fancy hotel full of small soaps and overally decorative lamps and lights, in New Jersey. As suspected the concert was great and the fans were dedicated and mostly, (mostly) polite to me. I just thank my lucky stars everyday that I was smart when I started this career and decided against getting my own Twitter account out of difficulties it might have caused. You sure got that right. My page would be blowing up with hate comments and threats. Of course I know they have some very supportive fans who are too sweet to be cruel, but those aren't the ones that affect me, they never are. As long as I have Harry protecting me though, very thoroughly now may I add, I know I'm in good hands.

Speaking of Harry, these last couple days have been hectic and stressful but also very exciting. Ever since that one night me and Harry spilled our confessions he has been all over me, sneaking me into a janitor's closet when I'm getting a drink of water during break or cheekily pinching my butt when no one is looking. He is thirsty for me, in thug terms and that statement is the honest truth. I can't say it doesn't make me yearn for him more though, knowing that he wants me and is thinking about me only makes me need his body close to mine as well.

We don't just kiss in the time we have together, we also talk and enjoy ourselves. For example, yesterday one of Harry's manager's suggested that we display something romantic and cute for the paparazzis because it's been a long time. So naturally Harry agreed quickly and took me on a romantic park picnic which didn't seem like a fake date at all. I don't know if this is silly of me to think but I consider it our first official date and I hope he does too. The greatest part about it was James said he wanted to go for a swim in the hotel pool and couldn't spy on me, and when I returned home he was still gone. 

A big part of me is still struggling with the fact that I'm basically cheating on James, and with Harry out of everyone. Probably the person he likes the least, period. But I can't stay away from Harry and I figure if James is off and doing his own thing then what is wrong with having a little alone time with Harry?.. I know, I'm an idiot and a horrible girlfriend and there is no explanation for why I'm doing this but I love Harry, and in my book that's a pretty big reason. But I also love James even if he is giving me trouble at the moment, or for moments. Everything is too confusing right now, including my emotions, my feelings, and my thoughts to straighten everything out in my head. So my plan is to go with the flow....for now.

I flip my book over onto the fuzzy couch and stride over to the door. As I'm walking my mind starts to wonder, questioning where James is. In the morning he told me he was going to work out but that was at 9 a.m. and now it's 2 p.m. Very strange.

I throw the door open and am immediately being pushed back into my own room with my mouth trapped behind a large hand. I scream into the thing and flail my arms around me, pushing and fighting the stranger holding me so tightly. The door clicks behind the man and I feel the same arm slink around my lower back and pull me towards them. Now I shriek even louder, pinching my eyes shut and kicking like mad, hoping to knock down anything. I don't want to be kidnapped at a time like this! Or anytime actually..