Hidden Secrets

14

As I stare at myself in the mirror I think of all the ways I could kill my father, not that I would, he's still my father. He deserves to die but am I capable of killing?

I need something to show the people that I'm on their side. Even after what I did for Hope there could still be people who don't trust me.

Light swims in my vision, slightly blinding me, I look towards the light.

It's my knife.

I walk over to my knife and pick it up then walk back to the mirror.

I look over myself once again. My once long dark hair pulled back in a neat bun probably so that it doesn't get burned in the fire, pearls lining almost every inch of me, my once rosy face stripped to be a person I can't recognize. The dress, one of the fanciest things I've ever seen.

This isn't me.

I carefully take off all the pearls and emeralds from my body and place them in a satin bag. Then I cut the elastic that holds my hair up, no sense in keeping it when I want to burn every inch of my body. My hair falls across my shoulders in a blanketing stream, I take one final look at the hair that I swore I would never cut so I could grow it longer than my mothers. I take a deep breath and grab half of my hair, and in one slice I cut it to my chin. I do the same to the other side. Finally, I take my anger out on the dress by cutting it just above my knees, I also rip the delicate sleeves to make my arms bare. To complete the look I throw the cape my dad gave me and gently place my moms cloak over my shoulders.

I look ragged, almost poor. It looks as if I was just picked off the street. I started to sweat so the powder that stripped my face of colour is now in streams. My hair is roughly cut and my outfit feels more like me.

I kick off my shoes and grab the satin bag while I call for a guard. He opens the door in no time and instantly gasps.

"Princess what did you do?"

"The right thing," I mumble. "I'll give you a few emeralds if you keep your mouth shut and get me and my father away from each other until we are at the venue." I hold out a couple of emeralds in my palm for him.

"I serve only to the king."

"And to protect me, correct?"

He sighs and then nods.

"Well, take this and protect me, got it?"

"Yessir. I mean, princess."

I laugh lowly at that as I hand him the emeralds.

"You're just like your mother, you will be a great ruler one day." He says under his breath. Or maybe he didn't even say it at all. I just somehow know that came from him in some way or another.

We walk down the stairs and sneak me into a separate carriage where we ride in silence to the empty field. Everyone's going to be there, I can start a revolution.

Hopefully, I'm ready for this.

I don't have time to have feelings this time around. I'm going to go in, say a few words, burn my dearest friend and leave. That's all.

I carefully fold all the feeling I have and tuck it in the back of my head. I need to be numb, neutral, nothing else. 

Numb.