Missing you (Seungcheol)

Sickness

Why didnt she told me?

Why did she give me a hard time?

Why did she hid everything?

Why cant I move on?

I picked my jacket to go meet her..

It has been a year..

But I do not know why I still cry over her..

I do not know why I still carry the pain she have given me..

I do not know why I still miss her..

I  went directly to her place..

Not to bring her back but to say good bye..

To move on..

To start a new chapter..

To be the old Seungcheol before I met her..

Eventhough my members are practicing..

I sacrificed it to say good bye to this girl..

To leave the pain..

Suddenly, when I arrived..

I kneeled..

I kneeled towards her..

Towards her grave..

She died due to her sickness..

The sickness she hid..

The sickness that conclude death..

Suddenly, again, memories struck my mind..

Memories we had..

Memories I cant forget..

The time when we had an argument but laugh afterwards..

The time when she skipped class so that she can see me practicing..

The time when I walk her home everyday..

The time when I ate spicy food eventhough I cant eat it..

I ate spicy food for the first time since she totally loved it..

I cant..

I cant forget her..

I cant leave her..

I cant move on..

Should I?

Should I remember her and the pain?

Should I carry the burden for the rest of my life?

Or should I remember how I loved her eventhough it brings pain?