Refusing to Serve Me? Then Off With Your Head!

Chapter 1

Encountering an Old Friend, Old Friend is Enemy

The matter began like this, my family's Xiao Huang stole someone else's drumstick, which resulted in me being thrown into prison.

Oh, of course, there were a few twists and turns in the intervening events.

The owner of the drumstick had been merciless, wanting my family's Xiao Huang to compensate with one of his own leg.

–I'd like to conveniently clarify that my family's Xiao Huang isn't Xiao Huang the dog; he's a person.

A drumstick and a person's leg, how can they be spoken of equally?

Isn't the drumstick's owner taking advantage of me?  He's a little too wicked!

The drumstick's owner, however, evidently didn't recognize this point. He's at that stage of middle age where one puts on weight.  With a stomach as big as a basket, looking to 7-8 months along and about to give birth, he twiddled the strands of rat beard under his chin and shook his head, conceitedly saying, "A rogue from the back woods!  It's best to hand him over to the county magistrate for investigation!"

I rolled my eyes, showing my disdain!  If this had happened three years ago, I would have rushed forward to kick him until his intestines ripped and his stomach burst.  He made  such great efforts to appear refined, but everyone knows that he is just a ruffian who had presented his own biological little sister to the county magistrate as a concubine.  Only in that way did he gain his power of today.

Ultimately, I am the true capital city native; he's the rogue who grew up in the back woods!  His whole family are rogues from the back woods!

It's a pity that Xiao Huang was such a disappointment.  When the county magistrates's cheap older brother-in-law ordered a group of ruthless guards to charge at him,  he just curled up and took the beating, his mouth still clamped on the drumstick, refusing to let go. He spewed forth woo woo sounds, but to my ears, it was clearly a cry of "Xiao Yi... save me!"

In that moment, my heart gave birth to feelings of sourness that were unsuited to the situation. Normally I would be abusively scolding, conveniently chopping off that drumstick-thieving hand of Xiao Huang's, and then viciously kicking him a few more times, beating him until he became a pig-head, until even his biological mother and father would not recognize him.

If the Xiao Huang from  three years ago, the one who had disagreeably placed his chopsticks down even after having picked and prodded at the great Chen imperial palace's one hundred and eight royal dishes was capable of foreseeing today's dire straits, I wonder if he would cherish those good days of the past.

So saying, Xiao Huang is actually a child emperor, surnamed Qin.

He is just like that Qin Hui emperor, who historically said "The people don't have rice to stave off hunger, why not just eat meat?" His existence is equally unbelievable.

One side of my heart indignantly cursed "That'll teach you to be short sighted and gluttonous. That'll teach you to steal things.  That'll teach you to complain that my cooking tastes bad...karma oh karma!  If you foresaw that you would be reduced to this state, that year, why cause the palace maids and eunuchs to have to persuade you to eat until their glib tongues nearly broke?"  The other side of my heart pushed me to charge forward, and with one kick each, those guards were flipped onto their backs.

The county magistrate's cheap older brother-in-law's mother was celebrating her 50th birthday today.  Although this older brother-in-law has already brought his wife and children into the city for quite a few years now, his old mother still cherished the rustic idea of being close to one's roots, so she has never moved.