Blind Eyes

Chapter 18

The sun had set by the time dad returned to my room. Before he flipped the main light on, the only light in the room had been the soft glow from the heart monitor. I was still in a daze, with this huge silly smile on my face as I thought about Daniels visit earlier. I squinted as the light suddenly flooded the room.

As my eyes adjusted I took in his appearance. He'd obviously showered, changed his clothes and shaved. While he was finally looking a bit more like himself, there was still a weight sitting on his shoulders, dragging him down.

"Hey kiddo," he said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Hey dad." I wondered if he'd avoided my room all day because he knew there was a certain conversation we needed to have.

"How...how are you?" I knew the real question he wanted to ask was 'how are your legs?'. Despite everyone's insistence not to, I'd basically given up all hope that the felling and function of my legs would return. The sooner I accepted it and started dealing with it, the sooner I could move on. The idea of starting at ground zero, learning how to live my life in a wheelchair, scared the crap out of me. Learning all over again how to take care of myself was terrifying. But I couldn't show that in front of dad. Telling him all that would just increase the guilt he was already carrying around. So I just plastered a fake smile on my face and pretended I wasn't scared out of my mind. I had a feeling he was doing the same thing.

"I'm fine. Nothing's changed."

He took the seat beside me and for the first time in a long time he had nothing to say. I listened to the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor. I counted my own heartbeat to 10 before I took a deep breath and spoke.

"Dad, we need to talk about something."

"I know we do. We need to talk about Natalie." While his face appeared to show he was serious, I could see the sparkle in his eyes, the sparkle that he got whenever he was joking around.

I nodded to his words without comprehending them. "Yes- wait, what?" I looked at him like he was crazy. "Why do we need to talk about Natalie?"

"She was a spy for S.H.I.E.L.D." I could tell Dad was enjoying the fact that he'd distracted me from the original conversation I wanted to have but we were going to talk about it eventually.

"What?!" Although I had suspected something wasn't right about Natalie, it was still a shock to hear that I was right. "She was spying on you for S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

He nodded. "And her name is Natasha, not Natalie."

I resisted the urge to tell him I'd known all along that something was off about her. "So why was S.H.I.E.L.D spying on you?"

"Uh...basically they wanted to see if I'd fit in with their super-secret boyband."

"That Avengers initiative that Fury guy talked to you about?"

He nodded. I briefly remembered Dad telling me about getting a visit from this Nick Fury guy while I had still been in hospital after Obadiah's attack. He'd mentioned the Avengers initiative but nothing had ever really come from it. "So what's the verdict? Are you cool enough for the band?"

"Ah, of course I'm cool enough for their band. But, you know, some stuff was said about narcissism and...self-destructive tendencies. They'll call me though."

I nodded but it was not surprising that they decided dad wasn't the best fit for their team considering his recent behaviour. "Speaking of self-destruction..." I watched the smile drop from his face as he realised where this conversation was heading. "Let's talk about your behaviour over the past few months."