word vomits

v.

i don't know who i should trust.

people have so many layers. sometimes they mean the things they said, sometimes they don't. it's not always because they want to fool others, no.

maybe they wanted to make someone happy, so they lied.
maybe they don't want to disappoint others, so they lied.
maybe they just don't want to get hurt, so they lied.

but it can hurt others in the process.

and everyone has done that. we all know how to lie. we all did it at some point in our lives. maybe we are still lying. maybe the live we are living right now is just a result of someone's lie. or our own.

that's precisely why i can't trust anyone, not even myself.

i can't trust my words. i can't trust other's words either.

with every smile, lies a lot of meanings. with every word, lies a lot of meanings. and not all of them are as literal as they seemed.

what if my friends are actually lying about enjoying being friends with me?
what if i'm actually lying about enjoying being their friends?
what if my parents actually are lying about being happy to have me as their child?

everyone lies. including myself. that's why i can't ever relax. that's why i will never be at peace.