Truth Or Dare (Destiel)

Chapter 4

It took about three hours until Cas decided to get out of the bathroom. The first thing he found was Dean sleeping on the ground right in front of the threshold. Castiel tried to make up his mind about everything that had happened in the past three hours, but he was still confused.

If Dean didn't like Cas then why would he kiss him? Why would he look at him like he was the prettiest thing in the world? And why would Dean make him feel so loved?

At the end he decided that it'd be better if he stopped thinking about Dean or everything that he loved about him. His eyes that lit up everytime he saw the angel, his mouth turning into a smile, his soft hair and even his freckles. He loved everything about the hunter, but that's what he tried to hide for such a long time, successfully. And that's what he had to do again. Hide his feelings. Cas tried to walk past the hunter as slowly and as quiet as possible, so that he didn't have to talk to him.

He knew he'd have to do it eventually, just not now. Fortunately Dean didn't wake up and Cas could go into his room without having to confront him. Just when Cas was searching for a book to read, the door to his room opened and he got nervous knowing it could be Dean. But luckily, Charlie poked her head in and asked him what he was doing. She was going to leave this evening and wanted to spend as much time with Cas as possible. She sat down on his bed and they started talking and didn't stop until it was about 5 PM and she had to leave. "Okay Cas. I have to go now. I know you can do this, don't let Dean control your whole life!"

Cas smiled and hugged her. As she walked down the stairs, he decided to follow her to see if Dean was awake. They all met in the living room saying goodbye to Charlie. She didn't live far away but she'd found a case she wanted to solve..alone. After she had left, Dean walked towards Cas to finally talk to him. He woke up three hours ago but he knew Cas probably wanted to spend his time with Charlie. Dean knew he hurt Cas again. That's all he did at the moment. Hurting Cas. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Dean knew he had to make a decision and he'd thought about it for many hours. That's what he wanted to talk about now, but Cas didn't seem too excited to see him.

When Dean approached the angel, Sam sneaked out of the room to let them alone. Cas looked down at his hands, trying not to meet the hunter's beautiful green eyes. Cas knew that, as soon as he saw them, he would give in and cry. He felt his heart beating faster, his hands were sweating and he bit down on his lower lip until he felt the taste of warm blood on his tongue. "Cas.." Dean wanted to tell him everything he's thought about. But he was still scared Cas might never want to talk to him again.

Dean put a hand on Cas' shoulder to make him look at him. "Cas I've been thinking about everything that happened in the last couple of days.." Dean's voice was shaky, Cas could hear how nervous he was. "I know I hurt you a lot and.." That's when Cas looked up, taking in every detail in Dean's eyes. "Yes, you...hurt me. Not just once. You really hurt me, Dean. You made my heart break. And I don't know how you could ever make this up to me."

A tear fell down Dean's cheek, making Cas' heart soften. As much as he wanted to just forgive him, he couldn't. He was afraid of being hurt again. "Cas I promise you it won't happen again I..." Once again Cas didn't let him finish. "Yes it won't. Whatever it was that happened between us, it's over." With these words he turned around and disappeared in the kitchen. Dean wasn't surprised that Cas said that. Nevertheless he was sad and disappointed. He knew it was his own fault, he couldn't blame Cas. But that didn't mean he would give it up. He would never give Cas up. He just needed to give him some time.

Luckily, Sam approached him and told him that he finally found this demon. Dean knew he needed a distraction and insisted on doing it himself. He grabbed his angel blade and sat in the Impala. Sam saw that as a perfect opportunity to talk with Cas about his conversation with Dean. So he walked into the kitchen and sat down next to the angel who was reading a newspaper. 'Since when does Cas read?' Sam watched him with a confused look in his eyes. After a while, Sam decided to speak up. "Sooo what exactly happened between you and Dean?" Cas looked up and frowned. He didn't expect Sam to be so nosy. He also didn't really want to answer. It wasn't easy for him and everything he wanted to do was call Dean and tell him he was sorry.

But that wouldn't be a good idea. He'd ended it and that was the right thing to do. "Cas you can tell me. I don't like to admit it but I'm curious and Dean won't tell me!" Cas sighed as he understood that he didn't have a choice. He laid down his newspaper and turned to face Sam. "I told him that it's over. I know it's for the best but it really hurt doing this..B-because I love him." His voice cracked and Cas had to blink away the tears in his eyes. Damn these guys cry a lot.

When he looked back he noticed that Sam didn't look surprised. He looked as if he'd expected this answer. Was it so obvious that Cas felt that way? Apparently it was. Or Sam was just smarter than he thought.."Cas I know you do. It's so obvious!" There was his answer. "The way you two look at each other, how you protect Dean and how he takes care of you. And then this kiss! You should've seen it! As if there were fireworks..I thought I'm in a fairytale even if it wasn't my kiss!" This made Cas smile. He never imagined Sam being so cheesy. But it was true. It felt like a fairytale.

His smile slowly faded and he looked down. Cas really wanted to change his mind but he couldn't. "I know. It was the best feeling I've ever had. I felt save. Like nothing bad could ever happen to me again. I forgot all my doubts and worries and focused on my happiness. It was so pure." Cas closed his eyes, remembering every detail of their kiss. "Sam I want to be with him. I really do. But I know it wouldn't be right." Sam didn't understand him. Why did he say that? He loved Dean and Dean loved him. Why would he possibly have doubts? Except when...

"Cas you do know that Dean loves you too, right?" That made Cas' eyes widen. "What w-why do you think he does?" Sam shook his head. Did he really just say that? It was so obvious and Cas didn't even notice?! "He told me! After you locked yourself up in the bathroom..Dean and I had a talk and he admitted it." Cas surely didn't expect this. He thought Dean kinda liked him, but that he loved him was even better.

Cas felt his heart warm up and there were butterflies in his stomach. He smiled and his eyes started shining. Sam had to grin at Cas' reaction. It was the cutest thing he's ever seen. Now that must be real love. Cas decided that as soon as Dean stepped through that door, he would run to him and hug him as tight as he could. He wanted to show Dean how much he loved him. Cas waited for about an hour and a half until he got nervous.

"But what if something happened to him?" "Relax, he's probably eating pie at his favorite coffee shop." It took another hour until Sam got worried too. They'd just decided to look out for him when the door to the bunker opened. It was Dean. He was standing there, bruised, full of blood and with a deep cut on his right cheek. It looked like he was going to collapse soon. When Cas noticed that Dean couldn't stand any longer, he ran towards him. Not to hug or kiss him like he actually wanted, but to help him. With the angel's help, Dean could lie down on the couch. "What the hell happened, Dean?" Sam's voice sounded worried. Dean slowly closed his eyes to focus on his breathing.

When he opened them again, he spoke. "It wasn't just one demon. It was a whole damn family! And they weren't normal demons, i have no clue what they were but I don't mind avoiding them. But they're dead now, no need to worry." He sat up and forced a smile to calm Sam down. He wanted to show him that he was fine. "Okay..Thank you Dean. But let me help you next time." With these words Sam got out of the room. He knew what Cas was about to do and although he didn't want to disturb, he stopped in front of the door.

He was just too curious. Sam frowned as no one said a word. They just sat there staring at each other. Finally Cas found the courage to say something. "Dean I love you." 'Wow that was direct..' Sam had to grin. It was so adorable. Cas' words sparked a smile on Dean's face. He has never liked to talk about his feelings, but there was this one thing he had to say to Cas. He wanted to say it. After all this drama he just wanted to show Cas how much he cared for him. "I love you too, Cas."

Then he saw something on Cas' face that he had never seen before. He saw such a warm smile that immediately brightened his day. It was a smile that made his heart beat faster. And then he saw the tears. The tears of joy. He saw Cas crying of happiness. It was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Seeing Cas so happy because of five little words he had said to him.

Dean jumped off the couch, ignoring the pain he was feeling in his legs and hugged Cas. He felt the warmth the angel was radiating and he smelt the cologne that Cas had discovered recently. Then he loosened his grip a bit, just enough to kiss him. Feeling the salty tears between their lips and the smile both of the two men couldn't hide. It was one of the purest moments they'd ever had. Dean pulled back a bit, moving his mouth to Cas' ear. "I love you. I can't stop saying it. I love you.", Dean whispered. And that was the moment Cas felt nothing but happiness.