Matters of the Heart

Alternate Ending

A/N:  This alternate ending is heavy as fuck. If you decide to read it, go in to it knowing that it's super-depressing. I like to really challenge myself as a writer, and this was the goddamn Olympics of challenges for me. I'm not kidding guys. It's brutal. Like "I feel like absolute shit for writing it" brutal. It's also insanely long, because it was initially two chapters.

When I plot out my stories I always give myself two endings. I plan out two solid ends that mirror one another in a way that the context leading up to the end is the same, but the content of the resolution is not. So after the reveal of A and after the climax of the battle scene between Alexander/Emily/Ali the story could have gone one of two ways. I think I chose my ending well. I don't think I would have been able to sleep at night (not that my insomniac brain can sleep anyway) if I had left you with this ending. Because it's some Shakespearean tragedy type of shit. In the words of my best friend: "I'm afraid of you now."

*****

Where we left off from:

"Hey..." Emily wanted to tell Ali not to cry, that everything was going to be okay. But the words got caught in her throat.

Her thumb traced a line underneath Ali's left eye. Ali peered at her, her eyes glistening with tears. Emily stared at her irises. They were so impossibly blue. Had they always sparkled like that? She felt lost in the ocean that was Ali's gaze.

"Yes," Emily said, barely a whisper.

"What?" Ali blinked in confusion.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

Emily's hand slid down until her palm was over Ali's heart and she leaned forward until their lips were touching. A warm sensation washed over her, and for a brief moment she felt no pain. She slowed her movements and closed her eyes. She pulled back, her lips parted.

"I love you, Alison," she pressed her cheek against Ali's face and whispered against her ear.

She relaxed into Ali's shoulder, Ali's hair feeling soft against her face. Ali felt Emily's hand slip away from her chest. She pulled back, finding Emily's eyes closed. She put her palms against Emily's neck, her thumbs hooking underneath her jaw, her fingertips flat against the side of Emily's neck trying to get her to open her eyes.

"Emily?" She moved her fingers up against Emily's cheek. Emily didn't respond. "Emily!" Her hand flattened out and her fingers tightened against her face. "Em?" Her head was heavy in Ali's hands. "No. You don't die here." Ali ran her fingers through Emily's hair. "Emily, wake up." She felt her heart drop in to her stomach when Emily didn't respond to her voice. "No, no. No. Come on, don't...please don't. Don't do this to me. Don't leave me alone." A sob tore from her throat. "Oh, God. Breathe, sweetie. Please..." She pushed her forehead against Emily's and choked on her cries.

She looked up, not sure who she was talking to...or if anyone was even listening. Did God answer prayers from sinners like her? Her eyes shot to the ceiling, the dark and dank ceiling that was quickly becoming blurry because of her tears.

"Please don't take her from me." She let out a distressed squeak and looked down at Emily. "Not now. Not after all this. She believes in happily ever after. She made me believe, too. We deserve it." She felt her face flushing in anger. "We deserve it goddamnit!"

She pulled Emily closer, letting her face brush up against Emily's cheek, her lips just centimeters from Emily's ear.

"Please don't leave me. This...this isn't how it's supposed to end."

Ali laid her chin over the top of Emily's head and wrapped her arm around her upper back. She unconsciously started rocking her as she cried. Her tears dripped down her face and into Emily's hair. She held her tight, bawling her eyes out.