0325 ⤅ stray kids leeknow

part one - vulnerability

Minho's POV; 0326

I sat in the police station, awaiting whatever it was they planned to do with me now. Crazy how fast some things can happen, my father killed my mother in her sleep and then turned the gun on himself. How wild and insane that is really.

You know, when we're asleep, we're vulnerable literally to anything; the possibilities are pretty much endless. I wonder how last night would have played out if my mom hadn't take her nightly dose of melatonin. She could have put up a fight, maybe break a lamp so that she could live; instead, she was gone in the matter of a second with a gunshot to the head, inflicted by my drunk father.

At least that's how I remember it.

Either way, she didn't deserve any of this. My mother had such a kind and caring heart and was absolutely adored by everyone she knew. She could never hate anyone; even when my own father started having multiple affairs years ago, she stayed patient and loyal to him and loved him more than anything. It hurt so much, but she didn't let it get to her.

She was so strong. I wish she could have taught me how to be that strong.

But my father found her weakness. Trust. She saw all the good in every person that she saw no reason not to trust them. Trust is all it took to make her unaware of his dark thoughts and condition, "Oh honey, believe me, I'm doing alright. I love you." He lied through his teeth every morning; he never loved her, and she knew that.

But, She loved him so much that he hurt her so much.

Why did I let him hurt her? I didn't, I stood by her through it all, and she stood with me, rubbing circles on my back and telling me she loved me. No matter how old you get, your mother's touch is all you really need.

But she's gone now... because of him. The person I tried my hardest to protect her from. This is my fault.

I fidgeted in my seat, bouncing my leg so fast that the chair started to make an annoying sound. My thoughts nagged me; I could have done something if I were even there. But I couldn't have been there, and I knew that, too, not after how my father treated me only hours before I found them dead.

Someone took a seat next to me and bumped my shoulder, scaring me out of my thoughts. I glanced at him briefly before thinking of moving away to a different chair, but the person held his gaze with me and looked at me expectingly as if I was supposed to know him. I stared back. Something about him was familiar: He was short with really pretty brown eyes and fluffy blonde hair, and he looked around my age; not to mention, he had a very worried expression on his face.

"Hello?" He laughed as he smiled big and patted my leg, "What are you doing here?" I cock an eyebrow and quickly look away, and he sighs.

"Uh — my father is chief of police," the pretty boy continued, "I wanted to know if there's anything I can do." He mumbled that last part under his breath. It was obvious he didn't know what to say.

I smiled back and dismissed him, "Thank you, but I'm doing alright." I got up to move away, but he stopped me.

"Look, it's just... I'm really incredibly awkward and suck at conversations, but I was just sitting in my dad's office and saw you through the glass, and I felt really bad because you were all alone and you looked upset and—"

He took a huge deep breath.

"—and I just wanted to talk to you and hopefully cheer you up, because seeing you sad makes me sad..."

I just shook my head at him as I pushed open the door to the washroom.

"I'm Jisung... do you remember me? At all?"

That's when my head whipped around to stare directly at him.

"Yeah, I'm... your ex-boyfriend. I mean, sure, it was only seventh grade, but... still counts right?" He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his soft, fluffy hair, "It's stupid for me to say that, I know..."

I remembered running my own fingers through his hair back then... he would lay his head on my lap and look to me with the goofiest grin on his face. I'd ask what he was smiling at, and he'd just say, "You're so pretty," with the most awestruck tone. We'd cuddle and hug and laugh as much as we could without getting caught. When he moved away after a year or two, it was difficult to stay in touch, especially since his father had divorced his mother and took up a job in Malaysia.

"I know you haven't seen me for a while," his voice interrupted my thoughts again, "We just moved back here a couple months ago so that my dad could take this job, again; oh, and for my uncle. His business is booming," he awkwardly laughed again, and immediately stopped at my lack of response.

"Gosh, I'm such a mess. I'm so sorry for bothering you." He turned and started toward the office, but I grabbed onto his hand suddenly.

"Actually—" was all I could say. I looked down at my hand in his...
what am I doing.
and let go of it.
"I'm sorry... I was rude for ignoring you... and for not recognizing you. Um, I'd love it if you could stay and talk with me."

Jisung nodded and we both sat down again. He was ready for whatever it was I had to say.

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