0325 ⤅ stray kids leeknow

part six - timid

Felix's POV; 0328

It's been five minutes since Changbin told me, "Wait here, I'll be back," and pounded his fists on Chan's door. Five minutes since Chan answered it and was forcefully pushed back into the house.

Everyone's seen the news at this point: Lee Minho, the teenager so fucked up in the head that he shot his own parents in cold blood. Even without the proof, all of Seoul has already chosen which side to take — they want him in custody.

Just after I had seen the story, I received a call from Seungmin, asking if all those there that night could meet up and figure this out. Changbin was motioning a 'no' to his request. "I need to talk to Chan myself," he told me.

"Well, I want to go, too," I replied, "He's my friend as much as he is to you... plus, I was there that night."

Changbin pouted; It was obvious he didn't want me to go along with him, but I argued my way into the passenger seat. I wanted to help make sense of this.

I now waited anxiously in Changbin's red truck, fidgeting uncomfortably. I know how he gets when he's angry — trust me, I wish I didn't know. All the possibilities of what could be happening behind that door kept coming to mind, making me tense more and more with each thought.

Heck, Changbin could kill the guy if he really wanted to...

I wanted to go inside, maybe help straighten things out, but my cowardice held me back.

Something then broke, pulling me from the thoughts; I could hear it shatter followed by loud yelling. The sounds continued, increasing their volume gradually, but I tried to ignore them, breathing slowly to calm my quickening heart rate.

I was torn between waiting it out and barging in; one would make me anxious while the other would make me terrified. Take your pick.

I finally used some of the little courage I had, marching up to the door, but I hesitated, now able to hear the heated argument clearly.

"I know what I saw!" Chan's voice was loud and confident. It was clear he had no remorse for what he did to Minho. He felt absolutely nothing.

"You think you know what you saw," Changbin's voice was menacing, almost as if he hissed the words out, sending a shiver through my body.

It forced me to remember the first time he spoke to me that way. That was the day I got this permanent scar on my back.

"You're a fucking liar is what you are; you know Minho couldn't pull something like this off. There has to be more to this than what you think you saw," Changbin continued, "And this! Explain this!"

The shouts stopped for a moment. I had my hand on the door knob to enter.

"That's nothing."

"Like hell it's nothing! This makes no sense, Chan, how could you do this-!"

The sounds of coughing and struggling cut off his words; my instincts flared up then, and I forced the door open to a horrifying sight.

Changbin was being choked at the throat with Chan's strong hands around his neck, holding him up to the wall several inches off the ground. Both looked over at me in my intrusion, causing Chan to loosen his grip a bit.

My feet were frozen in fear. I couldn't move or say anything; All I could do was watch as my friends tried to kill each other.

"Help," Changbin managed to say.

That snapped me out of my trance. I ran and used all the strength I had to push Chan off of him. The impact caused all of us to sprawl to the floor, Chan hitting his head on the table behind him and groaning, Changbin's back sliding down the wall, and me falling face first on the floor right into a notebook face down.

Changbin gagged and clutched his neck, struggling to catch his breath and grabbing onto my foot to get my attention, again. I immediately scooted to his side and held his hands.

"Deep breaths, Binnie," I breathed slowly, and he tried to do the same, "That's it... it's alright."

He was able to mutter out a "thanks", still coughing nonstop.

I examined his neck; bruises were already forming. His face was regaining some color, but he was obviously dazed. We had to get out of here quick.

I was about to help him up when quiet sobs came from my right, and I turned to see Chan lying on the ground. I was so stunned that I almost forgot he was here.

"What were you thinking, Chris!"

Too overwhelmed, the words flew out of my mouth without thinking, and I shouted at him in English. The yelling surprised both me and Chan.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered over and over, sounding smaller every time. He hid his face in his hands and rocked back and forth.

Changbin gagged again next to me and tighten his grasp on my hands. I calmed him down again, rubbing his back. His neck became darker and darker by the second.

I looked past him at the notebook on the floor. Instinctively, I reached for it and turned it over to see a letter of some kind. I took note of when it was dated: March 28... today.

"Fuck. I don't know how I'm supposed to start this.

"I'm sorry... for this whole mess of a situation. Of all people, you didn't deserve any of this, and I added to it.

"I'm so sorry... I'm so so sorry.

"But I'm angry.

"How could you? Why did you?

"Was it me? Was it what I did that night?

"... Should I have done better?

"I don't know how to feel... what to believe... what to trust.

"I love you.

"But I hate you."

The writing became more and more hard and messy as the letter went on, and tear stains littered the last three lines, making it hard to read.

I looked up at Chan, who was now facing me with red eyes.

"Why!"

Chan didn't say anything. He just stared.

"Why would you do this to him!" I started shaking and crying uncontrollably.

Fuck him. Fuck him for doing this to Minho, a kind hearted, caring, loveable person, and my best friend. Our best friend. If Chan really loved him, he would be there for him.

"Did you hate yourself so much that you needed him to go through this pain-!"

"We should go now," Changbin, stable for now, grabbed onto my shoulder.

"I hate you," were the last three words I had said to him before leaving.

~~~

DOES THIS CHAPTER MAKE SENSE CAUSE IDFK

I'm having trouble conveying the timeline but IM TRYING MY BEST