0325 ⤅ stray kids leeknow

part seven - masculinity

Jisung's POV; 0329

It was such a good night — Minho and I had hung out all day to take our minds off... well, everything. It seems as if everything had been going just too quickly, and we needed a breather. We played video games all night, snacks littered throughout the room — even if I was the only one who had any — and our voices were so loud and excited that my neighbor pounded on the door asking what the hell we were up to. We shrugged and said we didn't know what he was talking about and didn't hear anything, and we went back to the TV giggling like middle schoolers. Minho made fun of me for still playing on a Wii, but I beat his ass at Mario Kart, so who's laughing now?

But as I hulled myself to the kitchen to grab a bowl of Lucky Charms, Minho told me he had to use the bathroom, and he walked quickly to the door and locked it. Soon, gagging could be heard... I tried to ignore the unpleasant sounds, but I couldn't block out my concerned thoughts. Minho hadn't been eating much, he wasn't leaving my room much in general, and he was becoming increasingly sick by the day. I tried — believe me, I tried — to help him keep some healthy habits, but he keeps assuring me that everything is just fine.

I had just poured the milk into my cereal when the front door swung open, and my father entered closing a wet umbrella and wearing a scowl on his face. He threw his shoes on the placemat, not caring if they were neat, and trudged to the table, plopping down in a chair.

"Sit down, we have to talk," was all he said.

But I already knew what he wanted to say. Between the investigation and the news, it was obvious what was on his mind.

"You want Minho gone..."

My father didn't say anything, but I knew I was right. He's never liked Minho. When we were kids, he treated all of my friends like they should have been treated, all of them expect for Minho. He was cold and dismissive towards him, and it gave both of us a bad feeling. Minho told me he thought it was because he saw me kiss his cheek once... I just glared at him and retaliated with, 'You're always the one kissing me, dummy.'

"Due to the circumstances," my father's voice brought me back from my memories, making me realize that I was blushing at them, "I think it's inappropriate  to take care of a suspect of a murder case in the Chief of Police's home. Would you agree?"

How could I answer? He was looking to me expectantly, but whatever I wanted to say was too disrespectful and would most definitely have consequences.

In the most calm and rational voice I could produce, I slowly said, "Dad, Minho is only a suspect, and the investigation hasn't even opened, yet. There's no guarantee that he's done anything, and I know he hasn't." I knew that continuing to speak was very risky, but I did anyway, "Please, dad, if there is one thing I can do for Minho, I want it to be this. His friends don't know how to talk to him, and his immediate family lives on the other side of the country. I want to help him, please..."

My father's face didn't change at all. He suddenly inhaled sharply, startling me a bit, and he coldly replied, "If he's not gone by the morning, I'm kicking him out."

I knew I couldn't win... I've never been able to win against my father. It's whatever he says goes; he is my father after all. Despite knowing this and drilling this into my head my whole life — emotions are useless. emotions are useless. — I showed my weakness again. I knew it would make him angry, but I allowed the hot tears to roll down my cheeks. After finally finding Minho again and wanting to protect him from any harm, the thought of losing him was a stab in my heart, no matter how quickly things were happening. I really care about him.

"Jisung!" My father shouted in my face, suddenly enraged at my typical reaction. Having normal human emotions isn't manly enough for him; I'm just a disappointment. "Wipe your tears, son, learn how to toughen up! Crying will get you nowhere!"

I wanted to scream in his face and fight back for the first time in years. I wanted to tell him how much of an insensitive asshole he is to Minho, how much suffering and pain he's gone through the past couple days, how much suffering he endured his whole life from his father. I wanted to yell as loud as I could that he ruined me, that I could be a more confident and easy going person if it wasn't for the unrealistic standards and difficult upbringing he gave me.

But instead, like every other time, I kept these thoughts to myself, too afraid of the consequences of saying them aloud.

My father suddenly flung his belt from his buckle, holding it in his hands like a whip, and walked slowly toward me as he swung it around. I backed up to the wall, pleading 'no' again and again, each one louder than the other. I was soon screaming the word when the leather slapped across my face. The sting burned, but not as much as the second one directed at the same spot.

I crouched to the ground, hiding my head with my hands. He continued to hit me on my back, and I collapsed on the floor as I shook cowering in fear. My cheek was bleeding heavily on the hard wood.

"STOP!"

My father and I turned to see Minho at the counter, fear painting his face as he panicked and looked around for a weapon. I watched as his eyes flickered around the room, and I guessed his thoughts: knife? too dangerous... lamp? too far away... His eyes finally landed on my bowl of Lucky Charms, and something in his expression lit up. Minho snatched the cereal and splashed the bowl into my father's face without hesitation, blinding him momentarily. My father staggered to the sink, not able to see clearly, and attempted to wash it off quickly as Minho scrambled next to me and rambled, "We gotta go... we gotta go, and we gotta go right now, come on!"

He lifted me up into his arms — quite easily because of my light weight — and ran to the door before my father was able to grab or hit us with anything. He called out to us, "Get the fuck back here!" But Minho and I were gone, already down the street when he had put me down and begged me to try and run myself. I agreed, and we held onto each other's hand as we sprinted behind houses and trees.

Soon, police sirens could be heard from all around us, and Minho pulled me into a pine tree, whispering, "Fuck... already? Ow, Oh God, Ji, please, ignore the needles... oh god, we just have to find somewhere safe to hide..."

I tried to think of somewhere as he held my face to his chest. His friends weren't speaking to him, and I didn't have any friends of my own who could help me out. The only family I had who lived in town was my uncle... my father's brother. I decided against the idea at first, but then I remembered that my cousin and I are close... he would help us, right? I tried to remember how to get to his house when a police car sped by, causing me to flinch and Minho to hug me tighter. They continued down the street, a sign that they hadn't seen us.

"Min," I whispered, "I know where we can go."

"Oh my gosh, then tell me already!" his voice was hushed and panicked.

"My cousin's house, I know an alleyway we can go through. But Min, his father is close to mine... we're gonna have to hide there for only tonight, then we need to figure somewhere else out later."

"Good, fine, whatever, just dear god, get me out of this pine tree..."

When we knew the coast was clear, we sprinted into an alley, making sure we were hidden in the shadows, and avoided any sound of the sirens. Soon, we were almost to my cousin, Hyunjin's, house...

~~~~

wow... I am so sorry for not updating for a while and for the previous two chapters being so shit. It's actually 2:30 AM right now, but I had coffee today, so hahahahaha I can't sleep.