I.S.O.L.A.T.E.D This isn't Over!

  As I saw him getting rolled into the strecher of the back of the Vehcile my heart dropped and sank into a pit of dispair. Did Prince really die because of me? Was I the cause of his death? I knew in my heart that i couldn't change it back, he was gone and he had no family that would even care for his death. 

   I sit in the back of the police car wrapped up in a blanket and as Romelo is getting cuffed and shoved in the back of the car, I couldn't do anything.. It was oer whelming , that thought of me being the cause of all this makes me sick. I couldn't stop crying , it was un bearable. Romelo rolled by and asked to talk to me, I give him a side ways glance and walk to the window "Avanna... please... help me... I-i I didn't mean it, it was out of greed ! Please you must understand... I'm so sorry" he says after they roll up the window taking him away. He was my bestfriend's boyfriend.. a brother to me.. But he took my love away.. not only that my bestfriend was gone so I had no one to talk to , only women who would understand was my mom... who was sick and yet still remaning strong. 

   I walk inside the rebuilt and refurnished house after the attack, It smelled new and re-painted, I walked around as everything was back in its place , some even replaced. Tears fall from my eyes, I knew nothing was going to be the same. I knew my sanity was going to snap, and it did .. after seeing the one who i loved but yet betrayed me ....die, it hit me... I knew that I wasn't going to let this get over me , this wasn't going to have me at woah. I took the blanket and light it on fire out in the back yard.

  I watched it burn.. and the fire gotten bigger and my eyes where hurting from the light "burn in hell" I said to myself watching it burn. I walked back inside to see my mom's sisters helping her sit down onto the couch. "Avanna sweetie, would you mind cooking me some mash patatoes" she asks politely. I knew i was on the break of insane.. but my mother was everything i had left. Out of spite I whip her up some mash patatoes and serve it to her. She eats it like it was nothing and looks at me .

"Avanna... baby girl you can't hold on.. I understand but if we just have faith everything will be okay.." she says to me sitting back onto the couch. I look at her " how could anything possiably be okay!? I lost my bestfriend! I've been hurt! and--" .."Avanna please... don't yell sweetie... please talk to me like a normal person!.. Iv'e been threw alot okay.. I understand how you feel.. we will get threw this". Before i could hear her again I walk out the house and put my hands in my pocket. I didn't wanna here that lousy shit, it made no sense.. If i had faith? What? Faith is nothing but a hopeless pitty and a waste of time. Right about now I felt like dorathy in wonderland. I kept walking and I didn't care where I ended up, my mind was on an emotinal roller coaster that I almost forgtten about my baby brother Antonio. Oh how I miss him, I could have tooken care of him! I could have been a big sister... That Adoption thing was STUPID. My mind was boggling and I started to get dizzy, and before I knew it I was passed out in someone else's lawn. 

    Am I dead?