Moments to remember

Big girls don't cry

Okay, I can’t go home, everyone will be asking questions. I just needed to hide somewhere for a while. And it would be nice if I had someone to talk to. I knew that Carla would listen to me and everything but I didn’t want to be with her right now. I had one person on my mind, but I knew it was a bad idea. I will turn out totally selfish right now, but I couldn’t help it. I turned the corner and entered the Wales street, suddenly I felt a little bit better. This street always makes feel good. I was getting through the crowd, God, why is there so much people here? All I wanted was peace and silence and I just hear people yelling. Maybe I should just go home and turn on music, that always makes me feel better. I should turn one something nice and slow. Whenever I'm alone with you. You make me feel like I am fun again. Yes, I should listen to that! I love that song more than anything. However far away. I will always love you. Where is that song coming from? However long I stay. I will always love you. I followed the music and got right in front of Logan. He was looking at his guitar, enjoying the song. Whatever words I say. I will always love you. I will always love you . I just stared at him blankly and at the way how he was so caught up in the song, he didn’t even notice me. So I went and sat next to him. “That’s my favorite song.” I said quietly. That moment Logan noticed me. “Becky..” “It is my favorite song in the entire world and you were just playing it.” In that moment I started crying, I couldn’t stop myself, I got so emotional. “Hey, hey Becky, what’s wrong?!” I didn’t answer I just continued crying. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” He took me by the hand and pulled me across the street to the park. Ten minutes later we were at the park, sitting on the bench, eating ice cream, not saying a single word and I felt great. I calmed down and  I just needed the company of someone who is not judging me. I forgot how that felt.. “The sky is pretty today.” I said quietly. “Yeah, it is.” He said a little bit louder. Finally I took courage and asked “What do you think of me? What do you think? What kind of person am I?” I was staring nervously at my ice cream and I almost killed it with my spoon. Logan looked at me for a second and then scratched his head “Well, I think you are clumsy.” he said pointing to the scar on my hand “I think you are a very communicative and a very honest person.” Well he got that right, kinda. ”Those are the things I think, but these are the things I know. You are very smart, you have great music taste and  you are gorgeous.” I couldn’t stop the blush that was starting to spread all over my face . “And I know that for some reason you don’t see yourself as a good person.” That’s when my eyes started to sting, again, oh fuck. No Becky, you can’t cry again. Easier said than done, tears just start falling down my eyes.. After ten second I was ranting. Again. Of course the whole school was saying I am a whore, I am one, after all. Ordinary girl don’t just go and make out with a guy instead of saying hello. Ordinary girls don’t go and sleep with their friends because they are trying to forget someone or because they are bored. And ordinary girls don’t fucking sleep with their teachers. I am a terrible person. Why was I acting like a brat? All of my frustration and feelings just started to come and they were coming in the shape of tears. Logan was confused for a second but then he just hugged me. I don’t remember hugging someone so tightly before. I didn’t want to let go, I had a feeling that if I let go everything would just fall to pieces. I felt really safe, I really felt like I have true friend beside me. So I clenched him hard one more time before letting go. I finally calmed down and took a deep breath. I turned to Logan “Aren’t you gonna ask what was all that about?” “Nope, I am sure you have your reasons and I understand if you don’t wanna talk about them.” Okay, this guy is killing me with his kindness, really. I wanted to hug him again, but I controlled myself. This was exactly what I needed. “Wanna talk about something else now?” he asked. “Yeah, I would really love that.” I said with a small smile. I will tell him, one day, I will. But for now, I would like to be a nice person Becky, not a whore Becky.“So, come on, shoot me with questions. What do you wanna know?” he said. I was thinking for a second and then I asked “What is your last name?” “Harris.”