Fraying Edges

| TWENTY - NINE |

The sky was dark in the early hours of the morning as Ruby wrapped her favorite thick blanket around her. She was back in her college apartment and she felt like tons of bricks where weighing her down. She wanted to sleep forever. To sleep away the ache. Everything seemed bleak and dark. Was there any point in living? 

She had switched off her phone, not wanting to receive any calls. Her room door was locked too in case her roommate wanted to walk in. A crazy part of her mind wanted to shutdown, to be gone and away; to mix in with thin air. The feelings were familiar but a bit strange because she had thought she was doing better. Why then did the gloom return? But she knew the answer even as she asked the question, she knew it had never left.

She had experienced days like that, when the sun seemed nonexistent, and the world seemed so bleak, but it had been better, for she had always found a way to hang on to her sanity. Her parents had always been her lifeline. Why then did she feel like she didn't need them?

Her roommate knocked on her room door when the day had progressed a little. But Ruby remained on her bed, not making any move to open the door.

"Lazy-ass Ruby, you going to come out or what?" Ruby did not reply.

Catherine sounded far away. And she didn't have the strength to draw closer and answer. Her roommate knocked and knocked till she gave up and left. They had an unspoken rule of privacy, but Ruby could feel her worry.

Ruby stirred a little on her bed, stray tears slipping down her cheeks. There was no particular order she felt the emotions come, they just seemed to come. Sad, bereft emotions, choking her and burning her insides.

And in that moment, in her moment of sore distress, she looked up at her ceiling, through it, like she could see the white clouds, like she could see the sun. She felt a hand wrap around her body, and she was lifted above. Above her feelings; above her thoughts. Right then, she knew that she was not alone. She knew that God loved her.

*****

At noon, Ruby had come out of her room, stomach rumbling and with lifted spirits.

"Catherine!" She called out, a sway in her hips as she breezed through the apartment. She found her in her room, earpiece on, probably doing some homework as there were books sprawled around her. Ruby tapped her. Catherine turned, surprise etched on her face, and took a look at her. Ruby could see the puzzlement in her eyes and her smile widened.

"Hey, stop looking at me and say what you want for lunch."

"Pizza," she said offhandedly. "Are you okay, Ruby. You've been in your room all day and I've never seen you smile this way before."

"Sure, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" said Ruby.

Ruby went on to order the pizza, leaving her roommate looking at her back, wondering what was going on.

Daisy came before the pizza, always one to show up unannounced. Andrew came with the pizza, another coincidence that made Ruby know that God really had a hand in her day.

"Ruby!" Daisy said as soon as Ruby opened the door for her. She waltzed in like she owned the place, leaving a trail of her citrus perfume behind. Ruby huffed.

"Hi, Daisy. We got any assignment to do?"

"No. I just felt like seeing you."

The doorbell rang right then, again, and Ruby went to open the door. Right before her stood Luke.

"Hey, Ru." Luke said, his smile making her to smile.

"Luke, you're here."

"Yeah. Catherine called and said you've been locked up in your room all day, but it seems you're out now."

"Yes, I'm out."

She smiled. He smiled.

"Oh, come in."

As he walked in, she reached out to close the door, but a leg blocked her. It was Andrew. And the pizza they had ordered. What was it with ordering pizza and Andrew?

He smirked. "Hey, churchy girl."

Andrew walked in and dropped the pizza on her coffee table. Ruby whirled around, speechless by his audacity to walk into her apartment like he owned it. The memory of that day on the balcony was still fresh in her mind.

"Aren't you throwing quite a party?" he said as he caught sight of Luke, Daisy and Catherine who had just come out of her room.

Ruby stilled herself for his usual remarks, but none came. Instead, as she opened her eyes to look at him, he was smiling.

"Have fun old friend. I hope you make it through this winter." He gave her a little pat on her back and she was transported back to the days they had spent together, the hugs they had shared. She smiled back at him and saw his blue eyes twinkle for the briefest of moments - it was enough.

"Now where is my money?"

Ruby hit her forehead and said, "Oh, let me get it for you." She rushed to her room, got the money and paid him.

When he was gone, she could feel the three other people in the room burning holes at her back. She turned and said, "What?"

Luke was the first to speak, "What was that all about?" he asked.

"Yeah, and isn't he that mean guy that attacked you in the cafeteria?" Daisy added.

Ruby could only nod. Then she looked at the pizza, her stomach grumbling and said, "Let's eat, shall we?"

*****

It was safe for Ruby to say that she had fun that day.

"Hey, guys. Thanks for being so good to me." She spoke up, beaming at them.

They all looked up from the TV show they were all watching and all she got was a few,"Yeah, sure" and mumbles. Then they all turned back to continue watching the show.

Her phone rang moments later. It was her Mom.

"Hello Mom."

"Ruby, Madeline is dead."

A/N

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Mackenzie the 2nd. . . Out. . .