Playing With Fire

Part 8

She'd woken in Finn's arms with her face pillowed on his chest, and for a moment she'd just looked at him. He was so beautiful when he was asleep, and it was hard to look away. She could feel it in her heart and in her gut, everything about him drew her in, and she knew that this was not going to be simple or easy. This man meant so much to her and she knew she could not just dismiss him. The thought of hurting him in anyway made her feel physically ill, and she could not deny that it would be so easy to fall in love with him. A small part of her was terrified that she already had, and she had no idea what she was going to do.

She couldn't fathom walking away from all of her friendship and history with her fiance, but how could she stay when she felt this way about another man? It was an impossible decision, and not made any easier by feeling how good it felt to be in Finn's arms. She needed to get out of here, but she wasn't sure she could make herself move. The way he was holding her, knowing how he felt. This feeling could be addicting.

For better or not, fate intervened and he shifted enough that she could slip away without disturbing him. It took everything she had in her to force herself away from him.

...

She went straight to Mella. She was very fortunate to have more than one very close friend. She had Sasha and Mella for female companionship, but she also had Finn and Seth. Except this was definitely a girl thing, and she felt weird about talking about this with Sasha. Mella wasn't close with her fiance or Finn, so hopefully she could be a nuetral sounding board.

As soon as Mella saw her though everything she'd been holding in since she woken up the day before just broke free, and she started crying before she even got a word out. She tried explaining, but she was hardly coherant through the sobbing and blubbering and it's a wonder Carmella understood anything she said.

"Wow, sweetie. Just wow, slow down, calm down," Mella said soothingly as she pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back lightly. "Whatever it is, it's okay. Everything will be all right, you'll be alright."

It took her a while before she could calm down enough, but eventually her friends comfort and kindness helped and she was able to talk.

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"What happened?"

"Finn's in love with me," she said and she could see it on Carmella's face when it finally hit her. It was almost like coming to that realization all over again. Saying it out loud made it real, and the feeling washed over her. The feeling of wonder and pure joy to know that that beautiful, wonderful man felt that way.

If she wasn't stuck between a rock and hard place she knew she would have been over the moon right now. How could she not feel even just a little bit in awe that someone like him could feel that way about someone like her. Her dear friend, her partner in crime, nothing could have been sweeter, and to know too that he'd felt that way for so long and held it in for her sake, to protect her happiness. She wished with everything in her that this was simpler, that she was free to love him back without repercussions.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. He was drunk the other night and thought he was dreaming, and he said a whole lot of stuff I'm pretty sure he never meant for me to hear. Then last night he actually said it right before he fell asleep. He was loopy from the painkillers, I don't think he realized what he was doing."

"Oh, honey."

"I can't. I can't do this. I can't forget the things he said, and I can't lose him."

"What about..."

"I know. I'm well aware of the ring on my finger. I can't have both of them, I know, but I don't know how I'm supposed to choose between them."

"Bayley, hun, I think it says something that you feel like you even have a choice."