The Silent Fate

First Drop of honey(part 1)

One old man once said,the beauty of the sun is not its colour, its the light that it gives you. I wondered what it meant, trying to keep up with the statement I realised that people dont appreciate what you are,they love who you are. Just as the sun,no one is able to see it,but we all feel it. Just imagine a day with no sun, everyone will look up and ask themselves, where is the sun, but as soon as it starts to shine, no one will continue to stare at the sky and sees how it burns,they will all gather out,take tea,some removes their warm clothes why? Because they want to feel it.

In life people are interested in what you do to them,not what you are. But when you go missing they will start blaming you for not being there for them. I came across one cute lady called Joy,we were bonded by the stars,we liked each other. I could stare at her picture more than twice a minute,I built castles in the air with exactly what and how I would wish us to be. The real feeling is when you miss someone and when you pick up the phone to call,you see the exact person calling, that feeling overtakes the touch of the nipple in ladies. Anyway as I was saying, Joy was a loving lady, as a man I never wanted to rush things but at the same time, I wanted to declare my love for her,because as the Ugandans say "if you dont tell her you love her,you will end up fetching water in her wedding". My instincts were 'right' at that time. With the help of my friend Joe, I could go about how to handle her,he taught me more than my confidence would take me,I could smile at the mirror before doing my rehearsals. 

Now the day came,after a long chit chat of two weeks,Joy finally told me she will only be available on Saturday afternoon. That was much of a problem because as a Pastor's kid I needed to go to church for choir practise and had the key to the church gate,Joe volunteered to take care of it,what a friend! Now the real problem was what I would wear because the following day was a Sunday,and I needed to look as smart as a Pastor so just incase(you know what I mean). I took my few coins went to the nearby shop changed to notes so that it doesnt reduce my CV as I was going to meet a high class lady. My phone was battery low and I needed to hurry up to catch the bus to town,I have been sweating since morning its now 11am you can guess what am feeling inside. A message came to my phone "Please meet me up at the Del Monte hotel". Ok that was a real shock,a hotel? The cheapest food is 200 I had 150,already spent 50 for transport,as a man I had to be optimistic. I was just a few minutes to town a message came again "please hurry,the food I ordered is here" I almost thought of jumping out of the bus,run the nearby petrol station siphone diesel and run faster than the bus (magical thinking). 

As for now, I have been patient, rehearsing the few sweet words in my mind,trying to imagine the first sight,the first handshake,I mean,yeah not hug at this time,the sweat running in my stomach and back area is extremely appaling. I alighted,saw the hotel,made sure my trouser zip doesn't distract me from the hot topics that might be on the table. Took my phone out, switched it off,made way to the hotel. Ooh my! There she was. I felt a strong wave pass through my eyes,my legs grew weak,my hands were shaky I wished to grab the wall to avoid the shaky me. All this time,I felt my words never rhymed my being. "Come on dear" there she whispered,I walked with that shy smile, I stretched my hands for the golden handshake,oh come on boy! She came with her arms open,huged me and murmured "Finally I see him". After the few seconds hug, my confidence grew,I felt like I have been appointed a cabinet secretary and was only waiting for approval from the parliament. That feeling of "Yes,I made it through". 

She was sort of... lets finish lunch other things will free flow. I cant tell the menu,I wish I would,only that it was my first time seeing such a meal. Anyway to avoid embarassment,I secretly followed her steps as she combined folk,spoon and cutlery or what should I call it,am just a peasant son,used to hands and fingers. "Would you like a drink" I never knew how I responded, I just heard 'ok dear'. I was so shaky. Few minutes passed, not much was said during the meal to avoid losing concentration. We then went out to the restaurant, some cosy seats were there for us to relax. Then the big bang came "Why do you love me". At first I felt I should clap for her, she is a straightforward lady, but then I felt it was to straight I never had the answer at that time, but as a man I couldn't keep myself low for that long now that its past an hour we have been together,come on Vik, you can do it. "You are one of a kind,you not like the rest I have met, you have your dignity, you preserve your beauty and you take control of your mind" she smiled, she again smiled I had to smile back, now what followed was under behind the curtains, few murmurs as the fresh wind blew to dry up my sweat now that I had spoken a meaningful word after that long. I then added after the few whispers,"by the way thanks for the lunch,I enjoyed it,next time dinner is mine" that smile she gave me was almost as to say yes. But what came next was a shock of my life. " I am so happy to have you as an open man, a cute guy and a charming one, but we might not be together,I am going for my studies and it might take a while, dear it might hurt you but just keep your word if you want us to be together". I was lost of words, I felt like I should cry, the sun turned red, the wind stopped blewing, the chair I sat on felt broken,the stomach felt empty,my mouth was wide open not forgetting the dry lips. I wished I had ordered the drink,now I realised I said NO at that time. "When will you be back?" I asked after the long silence "three years" she said. I regretted knowing her but at least I was glad I would have an overseas friend. Now I got bored,after a few pending words,we parted ways having made fake promises knowing it was all in vain. As I was in the bus,I felt it should go with a reverse gear,leave alone slow speed, I never wanted to get home, the youths were still there, I never knew what to tell Joe. I lacked words just pain in my heart, tears knocking in my eyes and shame overwhelming my face. I realised one thing, never be too sure about tommorow. Be of less expectation. Do not stare at the sun too much, It might not shine on you. Do not chase the butterfly you won't catch it,just lay low,it will land on your shoulders. As the day ended, I went to bed knowing that happiness is found within. As I switched on my phone a message came,guess who it was,Joy.....