The Other Woman

1

Sabrina had just left for work without a word. It's not like I get much anyway. I used to say goodbye to her, but now I don't. This was caused by her starting to respond with a grumble, and a dry "bye."

Where had the spark gone? I thought that we'd be inseparable but lately we've been hard to come together. She says she loves me, but I just don't hear it in her voice. Every time she says it, she says it more of a question rather a statement; "I love you?"

I try so hard but get nothing in return. I give so much into this marriage but receive nothing back.

I can't say the same to her though. Because I don't. I don't love my wife. She is distant, very distant. Distant emotionally. She makes herself distant physically also

I'm tired of not being able to say to my friends "Sorry guys I can't hang tonight, my wife and I have plans". I'm tired of not being able to say I love her and meaning it. I'm tired of not being able to look into her eyes without seeing passion and love and pleasure. I'm tired of her not trying. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the angry looks she gives me when she comes home so late. I'm tired of her coming I home late every night.

I'm just tired.

I deal with it because I want this to work. I deal with it because she wouldn't have married me if she didn't want this. I deal with it because I don't want to waste my time.

I don't want to waste my time because I put too much into this marriage to give up. I don't want to waste my time because there was so much love and compassion for each other in the beginning. That has to count for something, right? Although my feelings are still fading away, I still want this marriage to work.

We fight all the time. Well the times I catch her at home. We fight about her coming home late in the night. We fight about her family. We fight about what to eat, and why we don't talk. We fight about everything.

----------

Maybe this time if I said bye she would acknowledge me.

"Bye hon, have a nice day at work."

She looked at me with a look of frustration and puzzlement, "What?"

I sighed. "Nothing never mind, don't you have to go to work?"

"James what did you just say?"

"I just said don't you have to go to work"

She drew up her eyebrows but didn't press further, "Yeah bye."

See the thing about my marriage is that we don't communicate much, and marriage is about communication and understanding and compromise. But mine is nothing of the sort. She is a very distant person who I can't seem to get along with anymore. 

I vowed to try and make this marriage work. I repeat over and over in my mind that she's worth it... she's worth it... but I don't think I believe that anymore. It's hell trying to make this marriage work. Trying to please Sabrina is like trying to please the devil.

A few hours after she left, I went out myself. It's 7:00 and I need to get out of the house. I could still feel the tension from earlier when she left, it lingered in the room. I went to a bar downtown where my buddy's hang out.

Hopefully they were there. Every time I'm out alone at the bar women like to flirt shamelessly with me. I'm not interested in not one of them. It's not that they are ugly, it's just I'm a married man. Even though my wife doesn't give me the pleasure I need, I am still faithful and loyal to her. I wouldn't want her to do it to me so why would I do it to her?

Although I do just need one night. But none of those girls are the kind that makes you forget what you went there for. They aren't that pretty. My wife Sabrina is fairly beautiful. She has brown hair that goes just a little past her shoulders, she had dark blue eye, and her figure wasn't perfect but it was perfect for me.

But her beauty didn't match the attitude she has with me. If looks we're based off attitude, no one would even look her way. I guess that's one reason my love for her was fading away.

--------

I walked into the bar and saw my friends Jason and Erich. I made my way over to them, and ordered myself a drink on the way. I really needed this.

"Hey man! Hows it going with you and the wife?" Erich didn't sound so happy when he mentioned Sabrina. He knows about our situation, after all, he and Jacob are my best friends.

I sighed in frustration, "How do you think?" It was bad. It was always going bad.

"The usual huh?" He said with a sympathetic smile, I don't need any more.

I laughed, "Don't smile at me like that."

He chuckled. "Why not? I always smile like this around you."

"That is exactly why. I came here to forget about her. Whats going on with you guys?"

"Don't try and change the subject now," Jacob started "We need to talk about this. You have given her your whole life and much of your time, why are you still with her?"

"I don't know... I guess it's cause I still want us to work."

"Well it's obviously not going to work," Erich said after a minute passed "You need to think about leaving her."

I stayed silent.

I do need to think about that. All I've been worried about was her feelings and if she even wanted to be with me. But I never once thought about what I wanted out of this marriage. 

And I'm going to want out soon.

How's this for the first chapter? Thanks for reading. Working on the next chapter today and tomorrow.

-reetareads