✧ Chances ✧

Harry wasn't one for relationships. He wasn't one for them at all. His past experiences had proved that relationships must not have been meant for him. So he changed his image. He became a manwhore as some would call it. He'd have people he fucked. People like Louis. Louis didn't know what he was to Harry or what they were. He thought they were together, like boyfriends. They'd cuddle and kiss and make out in the hallways at school when everyone was in class. Louis at least thought they were together. Harry had Louis wrapped around his finger. He knew he would basically do anything for him. But, Harry just knew in his heart that Louis, just like all the others, didn't really feel anything for Harry. He would never admit it out loud, but Harry had indeed began to grow attached to this boy. However for all Harry knew, Louis and him were just fuck buddies. Nothing more. So Harry tried to keep it the way; when he thought he was wanted. Tonight, Harry had invited Louis out to a party and Louis had been searching for him for over a half of an hour now. Until he finally found him, cooped up in the corner with Niall- a person that Louis now hated. They were making out, when Harry pulled away in time to see Louis stomping away. He went after him, ending up outside. "Okay, whats wrong now?" He asked rolling his eyes slightly, crossing his arms across his chest.
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"Are you actually serious? You were making out with someone else!" Louis yelled.
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"Yeah so?" Harry said completely blunt about it. Louis was just his fuck buddy. He knew Louis was only in it for the sex so why not please him until he leaves? However this left Harry confused as to why Louis was so upset. It's not like he needed permission from him on who he could and could not kiss.
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"Thats cheating. You just cheated on me!" Louis practically yelled at Harry. He wasn't going to tolerate being cheated on. Especially not by Harry.
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Harry raised his eyebrow at Louis, completely confused . He chuckled . "Uh, no it's not. There's nothing to cheat on." He said laughing nervously . "Are you drunk or something?" He asked completely confused. Why was Louis upset? It just didn't add up to his clouded mind.
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Louis looked at Harry for a second, just staring. "No I'm not drunk. What the hell do you mean there's nothing to cheat on?"
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Harry sat his drink down nearby. "Louis what do you mean there's something to cheat on?" He said still completely confused of why His fuck buddie was so upset over a kiss with a drunk boy.
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Louis crossed his arms. "We're together." He stated, sounding more like a question. "So that's what you're cheating on. You're cheating on me." He announces with a huff.
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Harry flinched, completely taken aback by this ."That's funny Lou." He said as he nervously laughed. He got it. They were exclusive fuck buddies.
Sometimes they kissed and cuddled but he wasn't jealous. It's because Harry had just, wanted to get upset ok? He didn't appreciate Louis rubbing it in.
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Louis' lips parted like he wanted to say something, but he didn't and he clamped them shut, turning on his heel and starting to walk away from him, tears pricking at his eyes. He'd had enough.
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Harry noticed Louis walking off. "Wait Lou! Where ya going ?" He yelled as he quickly followed him . He began to walk after him, grabbing his cup of beer and taking it with him. When he finally caught up to him, he grabbed his arm and turned him around. "Where are you going? Why are you leaving?" Harry asked, completely unaware of Louis' feelings.
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Louis felt his stomach churn slightly sat even the sight of Harry, so he stared down. "What do you care? It's not like you're my boyfriend." He spat
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"Yeah I know." He replied bitterly. He was getting upset that Louis kept pointing it out. He wasn't jealous just... Upset. "Come on let's go dance."He said completely unaware of the damage he was creating. "Let's go." He said lowly wanting to try and make the pang in his chest go away trying to kiss Louis' neck.
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Louis pushed Harry away, wiping at his eyes. "Don't fucking touch me." He said. "You... You're an asshole." He bit down on his lip, turning away and starting to walk home. There was no way he would cry in front of Harry. He couldn't do that.
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Harry threw his now empty cup carelessly on the floor running after Louis again. "Louis why are you being like this what went wrong?" He said , his ignorance masking the truth. He had no idea how Louis really felt .
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Louis turned to him. Tears came slowly down his face. "Me thinking that you liked me. Me thinking I was your boyfriend and that you actually liked me because of me. That's what went wrong!" He hissed, hands trembling a little bit. He hated Harry in this moment.
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Harry finally snapped out of it; his demeanor , everything changed and everything else vanished . "Wait what?" He said flabbergasted . He didn't know Louis actually had feelings for him. He thought they were just friends with benefits.
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Louis shook his head. "Nothing, don't worry about it. Go back to your party or something." He muttered, staring down at his shoes. He did have feelings for Harry. He liked him a lot , and for him to laugh at him like that, just told Louis that he meant nothing.
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Harry shook his head. He had just completely changed his persona. He knows what Louis feels like now. He thought it was a mutual thing. He was happy Louis did things with him at all, any sexual act, thinking they were both in it for sex. Harry knows what it's like to be played and now he felt like shit. "Louis wait" he said quickly. "Why didn't you tell me ?"
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Louis looked up at Harry. He didn't understand him at all and this whole conversation was killing him; hurting him in ways that he didn't even know were possible. He let out a shaky breath. "I didn't think I had to tell you. I thought everything I did spoke for itself, but you clearly didn't get that." He said, tapping his foot out of habit.
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Harry could feel tears prick the back of his eyes as the realization of what he had done hit him hard. "I-I thought we were both on the same page" he said his voice shaking . "I didn't know you had feelings for me Louis i-I... I'm so sorry I-I didn't... " he rambled not knowing how to fix the damage he had caused this boy, his own past experience coming back to haunt him. He had been ruining this boy without even trying. How could he have been so careless?
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Louis swallowed the lump in his throat and shrugged. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm going home. I'll be okay." He lied quietly turning around. He wouldn't be okay. Harry treated him like he didn't even matter tonight and maybe he just didn't matter to Harry at all. Louis started walking a little faster, everything starting to crash down on him. Everything he'd ever felt for Harry just meant nothing now.
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"Louis wait!" Harry screamed frantically. "Let me fix this ,please .I know what it feels like to be played and I'm so sorry . I was an asshole please just.... Please...just... " he said growing more frantic trying to Fix his mess.
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Louis looked back at Harry. He took a step closer to him and , because Louis couldn't say no to Harry anymore, he just chewed on his lip for a second. Harry had him; he would always have him. "I don't know how you plan to fix any of this, but okay." He said quietly, giving in. He really thought he'd miss Harry touching him and kissing him whether they were together or not so he stayed.
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Harry trembled, and nodded quietly. "Ok... " he breathed out not knowing how to fix it either. "Ok ." He said again. "I'll take you home now..." He said leading Louis to the car. The drive was silent and awkward . Before Louis opened the door, Harry spoke up. "Tomorrow. 8pm. Can i take you somewhere?" He asked his gaze pleading.
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Louis stared at Harry for a second. He blinked a few times. "Yes." He said carelessly. He leaned over and kissed Harry's cheek quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said, hopping out of the car and walking to his door. He fumbled with his keys for a bit before pushing the door open and going inside, immediately going to his room.
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Harry let's out a shaky sigh, slightly relieved of some pressure, then groans remembering the situation at hand. He really fucked up this time. Louis ... Meant something to Harry. Not that he would say it out loud to just anyone. He just had to fix this mess. He groaned again, slamming his head on the wheel, accidently honking the horn and setting off the cars alarm. He frantically fumbled around trying to shut it off. Once he finally did, he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He looked towards Louis' house and saw Louis smiling and trying not to laugh at Harry's unfortunate event. Harry groaned again his cheeks turning red before driving off home.
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It was 7:45 and Harry didn't know what to wear. He felt like a girl. He finally chose a simple blue button up shirt and some black skinnies. He styled his hair to perfection before grabbing his phone, wallet, and breath mints before scrambling to his car trying to be on time. He sat at the drivers seat popping a mint in his mouth before pocketing them, driving to Louis' house. He pulled up to Louis' house and walked up to the door ringing the doorbell. He quickly began to fix himself, running his fingers through his hair. Suddenly the door opened , revealing Louis , dressed quite similar to Harry, except his skinnies were brown and his shirt was light blue instead of dark. "H-hi" he stuttered , not knowing why he was suddenly nervous.
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Louis looked down and bit his lip. "Hey." He said quietly, he shifted his weight to one leg. "So where are we going?" He questions, peering up at Harry and fixing his hair slightly. He put on a little smile and gave a sigh.
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"Dinner" Harry replied simply, motioning for Louis to follow him to the car. Louis shut the door and followed. Harry opened the passenger side for Louis and closed the door, jogging around to the drivers seat. A few minutes later they pulled up In the parking lot of a restaurant , packed full with people. Louis and Harry both got out of the car, and Harry held out his arm for Louis, motioning for him to hold on.
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Louis held onto Harry's arm as they walked into the restaurant and were seated quickly. "Harry, you didn't have to take me here." He says quietly, a little smile on his face. He sighs quietly looking over Harry. He felt weird being on an actual proper date with him.
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Harry looked at Louis, fear in his eyes. "Is it too much? Do you not like it? God I'm so stupid I should've just gone simple" he said getting upset running a hand through his hair , feeling like an imbecile for bringing him to a romantic restaurant for a real first date .
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Louis frowned and sighed slightly. "No, love. I just meant you could've just taken me to the movies or something plain. You didn't have to do this. But, it's cute that you did." He said softly, a grin spread on his face.
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Harry sighed again. "I just wanted to make it special" he said softly, defeated. He looked up at Louis. "What I did to you was horrible, and I may never be able to make it up to you." He said with a sad smile directing his gaze back to the table. "I know what it feels like and it sucks, and I'm so sorry." He sighed closing his eyes.
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"Harry, you're trying. You're trying to make it up to me and that's just enough, okay? None of that matters. What you did was apologized for." Louis says, reaching over the table and grabbing Harry's hand, squeezing it. "Just relax." He said giving a smile.
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Harry smiled at their hands. "Ok ." He said knitting their fingers together as the waiter came and gave them their menus. "What will you have Lou?" He said setting down his menu agreeing on a classic Italian dish : spaghetti and meatballs.
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Louis puts him menu down after deciding what he wanted. "I'll have the cheese chicken alfredo." He said with a small grin at Harry and then looking at their waiter.
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"Spaghetti and meatballs" Harry mumbled out with a small smile before handing the menu back to the waiter. They made small talk until a bottle of expensive wine he had ordered when he made the reservation was brought to the table. "Wine?" Harry offered, knowing from past memories that it was Louis' favorite , but was far to expensive to usually have. Louis' eyes widened at the bottle.
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Louis breathed out, biting his lip. "Harry. You know how expensive that is." He mumbled looking at the bottle in Harry's hands. "That's way too much money to spend just because I like it." He said, blushing slightly and feeling bad.
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"I bought it because I wanted to treat you to something nice." Harry said kindly, giving him a soft smile. The waiter brought their food and set it In front of them . As Louis began to stick his fork in, Harry poured them each a glass of the wine. Harry set the bottle down, and clasped his hands together, holding them near his chin, elbows on the table ignoring his food. "Try it." He said smiling. " I Want see what you think."
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Louis looked up and smiled, taking the glass and sipping the wine and moving the glass from his lips and swallowing. "It's so good." He hummed, letting the taste remain in his mouth.
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Harry smiled wider. "I'm glad you like it." Harry noticed how small Louis' portion was , and he was right as in about 5 minutes Louis was done before Harry was even halfway through. He saw Louis glancing back at him, noticing him observe his food. He stopped eating immediatly, pushing the plate to the centre of the small table. "Would you like some Louis?" He asked lightly.
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Louis sighed softly before shaking his head and pushing the plate back to Harry. "Not really that hungry." He mumbled, twiddling his thumbs.
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Harry frowned, truly concerned. "Louis what's up?" He said , but Louis paid no attention and continued fiddling with his thumbs. Harry reached over and took Louis' hand in his. "Lou , Come on. What's wrong? You barely are anything. What's up?" Harry said concerned, rubbing his thumb over the back of Louis' hand.
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Louis shook his head. "Nothing is wrong. I just wasn't that hungry." He says quietly, looking at Harry. "I'm okay." He said, a little grin plastered on his face as he looks at him. He sees the concern on Harry's face and notices it's the same concerned look he got from most of his friends, but he ignored it.
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Harry frowned further, his forehead creating small creases. He knew Louis was holding something back and that his smile wasn't genuine. He knows because when he was broken hearted, he put on the same fake smile for his friends the way Louis was now. Harry intwined their finger continuing to brush his thumb along the back of Louis'. "Louis, tell me what's really wrong" he said looking up , begging him for an answer.
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Louis smiled a bit bigger and shook his head. "Harry, I'm okay. I just wasn't really that hungry." He said, praying to himself that Harry would just drop it, but he had a feeling that he wouldn't, so Louis just planned to tell him he just wasn't hungry until he did.
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Harry sighed, not letting it slip by. If it was important, Harry didn't want to let it worsen. "Louis I know what a fake smile looks like. I know, because I use to have to fake one everyday until The pain went away. And then I did something terrible to an amazing person-" he said pausing to look up at Louis with a small smile. "-and it just made the burden even worse. Please tell me what's wrong." He pleaded squeezing Louis' hand in reassurance.
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Louis' face fell and he stared down at their hands. "I don't want to talk about it, okay? I'm fine." He told him quietly, not looking up at Harry. He didn't want to talk about it. He figured he was okay. He felt okay and so he was. There wasn't anything to talk about. He was fine, everything would be okay.
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Harry sighed, defeated. He wanted to help Louis, and he felt guilty, thinking he was the reason Louis was so upset. The waiter brought the check. Handing it to Louis. "Give it here, I'm paying." He said, but received no answer as Louis stared wide eyed at the bill.
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Louis shook his head at the bill. "Harry, I can't just let you pay this alone. At least let me pay a little bit." He said, sucking in his bottom lip and looking at Harry, glad they'd gotten over the topic, before Louis actually had to tell Harry what was wrong with him ; and he wasn't prepared to do that. He didn't want him to know.
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Harry smirked, knowing he was going to win this either way. "Ok fine we can split" he said but before Louis could move Harry spoke again. "If, you tell me what's ruining your beautiful real smile " Harry said, desperately wanting to help Louis .
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Louis frowned. "I told you I don't want to talk about it." He said, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms. "Fine. You pay." He said, giving in to Harry. He huffed out a breath and furrowed his eyebrows.
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Harry felt like he was stabbed in the heart. He sighed mentally knowing that Louis had the right not to trust him after what he did. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt Harry. He gently took out a couple hundreds and placed them in the little book holding the bill. He glanced at Louis, seeing how he looked completely unhappy being here with Him. Harry felt like shit. tears pricked his eyes as he stood up. Louis' eyes met his as he tried to keep in his tears. "I'll be back." He said his voice quiet and wet, as he quickly rushed off to the bathroom leaving Louis sitting at the table alone .
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Louis felt bad about everything. He didn't mean to make Harry upset. He just didn't want to tell him about what was happening with him. It made him feel weird and uncomfortable and he decided he could get help when he thought he needed the help. He waited a few minutes before texting Harry. 'Please Come out. We can talk about it.' He sent the text and felt his hands shake from nervousness.
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Harry read Louis' text and sighed. He slowly walked back to the table, anxious and nervous at the same time, not knowing what to expect. He sat down quietly before speaking. "You wanted to talk?" He asked, his voice slightly hoarse.. Harry cringed at how obvious it was that his emotions can get the best of him.
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Louis looked down and sucked in a few breaths, knowing Harry would either yell at him, or just leave him like everyone else. "C-Can we talk about it in the car or something?" He asked, his voice wobbly. He didn't want to talk about it in the restaurant since he'd probably start crying.
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Harry noticed how nervous Louis was and just silently nodding. He stood up with Louis as he handed the bill to the waiter thanking him for the meal. Harry hesitantly offered his hand to Louis, hoping he would accept his token of affection as a way to calm his nerves.
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Louis took Harry's hand and tried to breathe normally. He walked outside slowly with him, getting in the car and waiting until Harry was in the car to look at him. "Hi." He mutters nervously, trying to stall and buy time.
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Harry tries to turn in his seat to face
Louis properly, but accidentally honks the horn with his elbow. "Oops." He says smiling as they both laugh lightly. Harry takes Louis' hand in his again, rubbing his thumb over the backside comfortingly. "What's got you so upset Lou?" He asks quietly as he absentmindedly played with Louis' fingers.
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Louis cleared his throat slightly, looking at Harry seriously. "Harry, this is really serious and I understand if you..you don't really like me anymore." He starts, starting to get worked up a bit again as his hand shake slightly.
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Harry covered Louis' hand with both of his, smiling lightly trying to calm him down. "Hey it's ok. I could never hate you, and I'd like you no matter what Louis. " he said blushing at the mention of his feelings towards Louis.
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Louis steadied his breathing and closed his eyes. "I have an eating disorder." He says as quietly as possible. He opened his eyes but looked down at their hands thinking of how Harry won't like him anymore despite what he'd said.
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Harry blinked, not sure if he had heard him right. He looked at Louis , and saw how sad he was staring at their linked hands. The realization hit him hard. Why Louis had never eaten much, saying he ate when Harry wasn't around . It all hit him like A ton of bricks and he couldn't help but feel guilty for not noticing sooner. "Lou..." He trailed off as Louis met his gaze, and Harry began to tear up. "Oh lou... I'm so sorry I didn't notice before." He said not sure how to comfort him in the cramped car. Harry let a single tear slip down his face. "Oh Louis... I'm... I'm so sorry I should have noticed before and I made everything worse and I'm so sorry." He said sadly.
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Louis shook his head. "Stop. Don't cry. Please don't cry. If you cry, then I'll cry and I don't want to." He told Harry, reaching up and wiping a tear away. "It isn't your fault you didn't notice. A lot of people don't notice it." He says quietly, sniffling slightly. "I'm okay though, alright?" He asked, smiling slightly. He took a deep breath.
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"I promise" Harry said quietly causing Louis to look at him confused. "I'm going to help you get back to normal. I'll do whatever it takes." Harry said surely. "I promise" he whispered. As he raised their intwined hands and kissed the back of Louis' before starting the car and slowly driving Louis back home, not once letting go of his hand.
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Louis didn't say anything. He only looked forward and held Harry's hand. He liked holding Harry's hand. It made him think things would be okay and he liked hoping that. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He said quietly, as they pulled into his driveway. He turned to look at Harry. "I'm really sorry." He mumbled, squeezing his hand.
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"It's ok Louis. Really. But next time, please tell me . I Just want to help you." Harry said before getting out of the car and running over to the passenger side opening the door for Louis. He reached for his hand holding it as the walked to Louis' doorstep. They both stopped and faced each other and Harry blushed , slightly embarrassed at the strange chain of events of their first ...outing. "I hope I didn ruin our date-I mean , well , it was a date to me but you can call it whatever you want , because I mean it is up to you and I don't want to rush this or mess this up and, wow I really hope tonight was ok and-" Harry continued to ramble on, blushing again thinking he was annoying Louis, but wasn't able to stop running his mouth.
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Louis smiled weakly at Harry going on and on. He tried to wait until he was finished talking but he couldn't stop, so Louis got on his toes slightly and took Harry's face in his hands, kissing him softly. He pulled away slowly. "Tonight was good." He whispered.
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Harry immediately stopped talking, completely shocked. His heart beat out of his chest as his lips tingled from where Louis' had just been. He had never felt this way when Louis had kissed him before. But now it was... Different. He looked at Louis , still shocked and saw him smiling lightly. Harry smiled back . "Good" Harry breathed out, completely relieved everything had gone ok. "Do you think I could take you -do you think we could- could we possibly, do this again. Soon?" He said , not wanting to say goodbye to Louis yet.
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Louis felt a light blush fall onto his cheeks. "Of course we can." He said in a soft voice. "I would love that." He said quietly, watching Harry. All night, he'd craved kissing Harry badly, just since he was so used to being able to kiss him. He finally had done it and he's never felt better. He swore on it.
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Harry looked at Louis, the urge to kiss him was extremely strong. But he knew he couldn't just kiss him like he use to ; whenever he wanted carelessly. He lost that opportunity and that trust and needed to gain it back again somehow.
Harry looked down at his hands and fiddled with his fingers. "I guess I should let you go now," he said quietly, trying , but failing to hide his disappointment.
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Louis only nodded and looked down at the ground. "Yeah, I guess so." He murmured digging in his pocket for his house keys and pulling them out. He looked at the door and then back to Harry. "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, partially just not wanting to go be alone in the house and then partially actually curious if Harry was okay.
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"Do you have to go?" Harry asked before he could stop himself, blushing looking back to the ground in embarrassment. "I-I mean of course you have to go it's late and , you're probably tired and want time to be alone by yourself. I guess that's what alone means but you know what I mean and yeah I guess I'll go now nevermind pretend I never said anything ." He said quickly, slightly rambling on again but stopping himself this time. He blushed brighter and twiddled his thumbs awkwardly feeling stupid for opening his mouth.
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Louis smiled a little bit, looking down for a second. "I don't really want to be alone right now." He says quietly, not knowing what to say to Harry. He wanted to go to sleep, but the house was quiet and he'd feel lonely by himself, not wanting to rush anything, but still thinking that something was wrong with him tonight and he couldn't be alone. "Would you- Could you stay with me?" He stammered out, looking up slightly.
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Harry looked up shocked at Louis for a second . He nodded , a little too quick for an answer. He immediately stopped himself and blushed brightly. "I-I mean yeah if you want me to then I will I mean of course. Anything for you ..." He said , mumbling the last sentence more to himself than anything. He looked up at Louis silently asking if it was ok.
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Louis nodded. "Yeah..please." He mumbled fumbling around with his keys until he found the right one and opened the door. He pushed the door open and walked inside. He sucked in a breath of air as he looked around the room quickly. He started to go up the stairs without a word to Harry. He got to his bedroom door and opened the door quickly going inside.
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Harry quietly followed Louis up the stairs to his room, his heart beating out of his chest. He had never been here when it actually mattered; When it wasn't just for sex. His hands trembled as he held onto the door frame, watching Louis walk around the bedroom setting his phone on the table. "Um... So ... Where do you want me to sleep? I'll take the couch if that's ok with you" he said lowly, feeling as If someone else would hear him if he wasn't quiet even though they were the only ones in the house.
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Louis stopped walking long enough to look at Harry. "Okay. I guess that's fine." He said quietly. He walked over to his closet and slid his jeans off, replacing them with sweats and putting on a jumper. He walked back over to his bed and got under the blankets. Harry had never been in his room for any other purpose than sex which made Louis shudder slightly, but he didn't say anything about it.
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"Your room is really nice" he commented quitely , smiling shyly. "I'm sorry I never noticed before ..." He said even quieter, but loud enough for Louis to hear. He sighed loudly and turned away from the bedroom. "I guess I'll be downstairs if you need me." He said, smiling ever so slightly, stopping to wait for a reaction from Louis.
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Louis smiled at Harry and nodded. "Okay." He said, his voice kind of scratchy. He turned on his side and stared at the wall. He hated this. Harry knew about his disorder now and Louis was sure he'd get sick of trying to help him and leave, but he was just scared. He felt like he didn't need the help. He would fix himself on his own time. He could do it.
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Harry slowly made his way to the couch, cringing as memories of what they'd done on it flooded his mind . He growled and threw a pillow at the wall in frustration with a grunt. He ran his hands through his hair, distraught. He'll never get what he did out of his mind. He was a horrible. He sat down on the couch, pulling off his shirt and pants, leaving him just In his boxers. He slowly laid down, waiting until sleep overtook him.
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Louis felt like crying, but he didn't and he only closed his eyes and moved the blankets farther up his body slowly. He wanted to have Harry come upstairs, but he felt like if he did that, he'd be making the situation worse and he didn't want that, so he stayed silent and tried to fall asleep.
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An hour later, Harry was still wide awake, the yearning in his heart loud enough to keep him up. Also, the fact that he could hear Louis move around in the bed every two minutes. It made him wonder if everything was ok. He sat up slowly, hearing the rustle of sheets again . He slowly stood up and quietly stalked up the stairs to the bedroom. Louis was laying with wide eyes as he desperately tossed and turned. "Lou? Are you ok.." He said softly, not wanting Louis to be uncomfortable with him being here.
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Louis glanced at the door and shook his head. "No." He said quietly, his eyes looking watery and red. He sat up. "I'm not okay." He said looking at Harry. He rubbed at his eyes, only making it worse since now he could feel tears coming down his cheeks as he tried hard to wipe them away.
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Harry slowly walked towards the bed, sitting on the edge near Louis. He slowly reached out, gently brushing tears away with the pad of his thumb. "Wanna tell me?" He said quietly and caring, with a small smile.
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Louis calmed himself slightly. "You're gonna get sick of trying to help me and you're going to leave me alone. I'm just really scared. Please don't leave me." He rambled for a minute, staring at his hands. He looked up and Harry and pushed a hand through his hair.
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Harry sighed softly reaching for Louis' hand, absentmindedly playing with his fingers. "I don't understand how anyone could ever leave you when you need them." He said with a soft smile. "it sucks to be alone in a time of need-" he paused looking down sadly. "-but I'll never leave you Louis. I'll never leave you even if you hate me." He said looking at Louis with sad eyes and a small hint of a smile.
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Louis smiled back lightly. "Can you stay up here with me?" He asks quietly, looking down and blushing slightly. He believed Harry wouldn't leave him. He thought that maybe he was telling the truth.
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Harry smiled lightly and nodded . He looked around and noticed nothing else to sleep on other than the bed. Harry mentally freaked out. His hands trembled slightly as he hesitantly asked Louis the question he had been waiting to all night. "D-do you want me to sleep W-with you ?" He said completely unsure of Louis' motives . He was feeling real feelings towards Louis and he didn't want to screw up.
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Louis looked at Harry and nodded. "Y-yes. Just wanted you to sleep here with me. If you don't want to, it's okay." He reassured him with a tiny nod. He just really wanted Harry to lay with him. It didn't even gave to be all night. It could be just until he fell asleep and then he could leave. Louis just really needed Harry right now.
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Harry saw the sadness in Louis' eyes and it suddenly became clear to him how much Louis really needed him. "Oh Lou..." He said sadly and softly, picking up the covers and slipping in. He laid flat on his back and turned his head towards louis. "Come 'ere" he said softly his voice rugged, as he motioned for Louis to cuddle into his side and lay on his chest.
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Louis scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Harry from the side, laying his head on his chest. "Thank you." He breathed out quietly. He listened to the silence in the room, making himself more tired and his eyes close slowly. He kept his eyes closed, still listening to everything around him.
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Harry sighed in content, the atmosphere completely silent. He knew Louis was still awake, noticing his breathing patten. Harry's skin felt like it was on fire . Everywhere Louis' body touched his, fire shot up from the warmth and close proximity . His heart was beating erratically and he knew Louis could hear it. "It's you." Harry said softly barely above a whisper. Louis looked up at Harry, completely confused. "It's beating fast because of you. For you" Harry explained softly, a light smile painting his face as he blushed lightly at the revealing truth.
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Louis smiles and leans up, kissing Harry's lips quickly. "Good." He mutters hugging him tightly. He felt giddy inside, but he just tried not to show that he was. He yawned a bit, loving the feel of kissing Harry. Everything felt natural and he did like to listen to his heartbeat. He didn't know why. It made him calm.
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Harry smiled goofily as his lips tingled. This felt so much better than the meaningless sex had. Way better. Harry ran his hand through Louis' hair, his heart beating fast. "You kissed me." He said happily, still smiling like an idiot. Right now, he was on cloud nine.
⠀
Louis giggled slightly at Harry. "I did." He agrees with a little nod. He smiled faintly. "I like you. Why wouldn't I?" He rambled out quietly letting his eyes close again. He knew he probably just sounded weird talking at the moment, only because he just felt lightheaded and tired and just really liking having Harry here. He realized he'd miss having Harry with him most of the time if he didn't forgive him.
⠀
Harry sighed again, holding Louis close. "Because I was a dick to you. I toyed with you're heart without even meaning too, and you had every right not to forgive me." He said a sad tone laced in his voice, before he smiled lightly again, running his fingers through Louis' hair again, fondness sprouting out of every inch of his body. "But I'm glad you did" he said softly, smiling again, completely ecstatic.
⠀
Louis was quiet again for a bit. "I really like you." He said quietly. "Like, I like you a lot and I don't think I've ever liked someone as much as you except for maybe one time, but clearly it didn't work out and I don't know. You just make me feel..different." He rambles quietly, going on for a bit about it, but stopping himself quickly and blushing. "Sorry." He said, the blush on his cheeks darkening as he peered up at Harry.
⠀
Harry smiled tiredly and and gently caressed his cheek. "You're too adorable." He said softly, trying to comfort Louis. "You do these things to me.." He started before his expression turned serious for a split second, a smile replacing it. "You make me stutter, and nervous, and a hopeless romantic and you just... Drive me crazy. " he said softly looking into his crystal blue eyes.
⠀
Louis smiled and yawned. "You've actually treated me better than any other guy ever has today." He said softly, keeping an arm draped over his side. He felt like Harry could be special. He was special, but Louis just thought that maybe they could actually try dating. He didn't say that to Harry though. He knew that Harry wouldn't treat him badly anymore, like he had, so that meant a lot to him too. "You make me feel needed and just good about everything." He said, gently smiling and laying on him.
⠀
Harry smiled back, holding him closer. "Because I need you," he said truthfully, his heart breaking a little at the thought if losing Louis. "I love every little thing about you. From the way you squeak when you yawn, to the crinkles in your forehead when you're thinking about something or you're troubled. I love it all" he said truthfully .
⠀
Louis scrunched up his nose slightly, but he smiled a little. "Really?" He asked quietly. He looked up at Harry. "Do I really squeak when I yawn?" He questioned, slightly embarrassed about it.
⠀
Harry chuckled, nodding as Louis yawned again, a little squeak coming out . He cooed as he brushed his thumb over his cheek lovingly . "yeah, but I love it." He said staring into Louis' eyes, noses touching. Harry's breath caught in his throat at the closeness.
⠀
Louis sucked in his lip, feeling the closeness between them. His lips parted as he thought of saying something, but he didn't and he clamped his lips shut quickly, now debating on whether or not to kiss Harry.
⠀
Harry quietly looked at Louis' lips, bringing his gaze back up to Louis' eyes gently, he cupped Louis' cheek with his hand, slowly bringing him closer. Hesitant, he looked into his eyes, hoping Louis wanted the same.
⠀
Louis' breath hitched and he closed his eyes as their lips were pressed together. He felt himself melt into the kiss slowly.
⠀
Harry groaned lowly as he pulled Louis closer, pressing their lips together in a slow romantic passion. He wanted to take things slow and do them right. But Louis' lips against his felt so good. Electricity shot through him from everywhere Louis touched him. Harry smiled on Louis' lips.
⠀
Louis hummed slightly. He smiled pulling away slightly. He kissed the side of Harry's neck quickly, looking back at him again. "Harry?" He mumbled quietly glancing down at Harry's lips and back up at his eyes.
⠀
"Yes Lou?" Harry hummed in response, his heart beating out of his chest. He smiled at Louis, a soft goofy grin plastered on his face. Every time they've kissed tonight, he was left with the same amazing feeling and stupid grin.
⠀
"Thank you for tonight." Louis whispered. He really did have fun for most of the night and it'd been a while since he felt like he actually mattered. Now, he felt a little better. "Thank you for being here." He said quietly.
⠀
"I wouldn't trade tonight for anything." Harry answered immediately, slowly kissing Louis' forehead before he laid It back down on his chest. Harry stroked his hair a few times before softly speaking up again. "Everything's going to be ok. I'm going to help you get better. You'll be alright Louis." Harry said assured, making sure Louis new that he liked him. A lot.
⠀
Louis felt Harry's lips meet his forehead and he smiled a little bit. He laid his head back on his chest, listening to his heart beat. He nodded slowly. "Okay. I trust you." He mutters, choosing to accept the help Harry was giving him, though he knew he probably wouldn't like it.
⠀
Harry smiled as his eyes fluttered a bit . "Go to sleep baby." He said quietly, realizing what he had said and quickly trying to cover up. "I-I mean Lou. Not baby you're not a child and I just... I just thought it sounded cute and oh... I'm rambling again aren't I?" He said chuckling at the end as he turned beet red.
⠀
Louis laughed and glanced up at him. "It's fine. It was cute, baby." He teased laying his head back down and letting his eyes close slowly. He smiled and hugged Harry from the side tightly, keeping his eyes closed and eventually falling asleep.
⠀
"Not as cute as you, love." He said quietly to himself, feeling Louis' breathing slow to a steady pace as he slowly fell asleep. Harry hugged him firmly against him as he closed his eyes, soon falling asleep, with a smile on his face.
⠀
______________________
⠀
When Louis woke up, he looked around the room for a minute and then looked at Harry. He smiled slightly and then stared up at the ceiling, thinking of the night before. He took a few breaths. He was lightheaded, but ignored it, closing his eyes and listening to the silence.
⠀
Harry slowly woke up, opening his eyes, met with Louis laying on him, staring at him ,and blushing , that Harry had seen. "Good morning beautiful" he said, his deep, raspy morning voice the only sound in the room. He ran his hand through Louis' hair, sighing lightly at the feeling of content.
⠀
"Good morning." Louis hummed quietly chewing on his lip a little. He felt good waking up like this, well waking up with Harry. He loved seeing him when he woke up. It was a good mood lifter and he liked it like this. He leaned up slightly, kissing Harry's jawline quickly. He smiled.
⠀
Harry hummed , loving the feeling of Louis' lips. "I could wake up like this everyday and never get tired of it." Harry said softly closing his eyes as he smiled lightly , rubbing his hand up and down Louis' back comfortingly. He really did. Harry loved waking up like this, feeling Louis' body heat merge with his own , the sight of his crystal blue eyes when they opened, and his adorable morning voice. It was muggy, yet still soft and almost feminine, and Harry didn't mind at all. That's how Harry liked it; every natural "flaw" as people would call it were beautiful to him.
⠀
Louis smiled. "So could I." He breathed out, it sounding more like a squeak, but he couldn't care less about that. All he was focused on was Harry and his deep voice and his perfectness and everything about him. He smiled and took a few breaths. "I need a shower." He mumbled, hopping up, rather quickly. "I'll be back." He said quietly rushing off to the bathroom.
⠀
Harry sat up in bed, running his hands through his messy hair. He sighed as he let out a long , loud yawn. Harry had just stepped out of bed, when he heard a loud sound from the bathroom. "Lou , you ok?" Harry said loud enough for Louis to hear, but received no answer. "Lou?" He said again, a bit louder, still receiving no answer. He timidly walked to the bathroom . "Louis love, I'm coming in ok?" Harry said through the door , waiting a second but going In when he heard no answer.
⠀
Louis had gone in the bathroom. He needed to do something since he wasn't supposed to eat that much food last night. He'd felt heavy and just disgusting, so he did what he did all the time and he threw up. He wasn't proud of it. As soon as he threw up and flushed the toilet, he fell to the ground. He was conscious, sitting up against the tub but he didn't answer Harry, looking at him when he came in the bathroom.
⠀
Harry saw Louis on the floor, and immediately rushed to his side. "Lou baby are you ok? What's wrong what happened? Please be honest Lou." He said , beginning to panic a bit. He grabbed Louis' and gently stroked it. "What's going on Louis?" Harry asked, worrying like an overprotective mother.
⠀
Louis immediately looked down, tears rolling down his cheeks quickly. "I made myself throw up and then I fell." He answered, feeling ashamed. He let Harry down. He let him down just like everyone else. He threaded a hand through his hair, his body shaking.
⠀
"Lou..." Harry said trailing off tears filling his eyes as he held both Louis' hands. "Baby why do you feel the need to torture you're perfect body like that?" Harry asked quietly, seeing Louis squirm uncomfortably as he went to his stomach. Harry moved Louis' hands away, pulling up Louis' jumper enough to expose his tummy, and gently rubbed it trying to relax Louis. He bent over and kissed Louis' stomach softly before continuing to massage it, looking up at Louis for an answer.
⠀
Louis' breathing steadied as he looked at Harry trying to piece together words to make a sentence. "Have you ever even been called fat?" He croaked out, trying hard to keep himself together and not break down, but it'd be easier to just break down. So, he let little sobs escape his lips as he tried to not look at Harry.
⠀
"Shh baby is ok ,just calm down it's ok. Please don't cry, it's all ok see? Calm down you're ok. Breathe Louis. Just take deep steady breaths and focus on me ok? I won't hurt you. Ever" Harry said in attempt to calm Louis down, running his hand over every inch of flesh he saw, making sure to show Louis how much he cared . "If you must know Lou, yes I have been called fat on several occasions" Harry answered quietly.
⠀
Louis took deep breaths, so he could form a proper sentence. "But continuously. Just being called fat over everything , over and over and you just looked in the mirror one day , and you just think maybe I am fat." He says. "And I tried to work out. I really did, but it wasn't working and I needed another way." He said, between choked up sobs, his voice breaking.
⠀
Harry quickly collected Louis , pulling him into his lap and leaning against the back of the tub. Harry held Louis close, tucking his face into the crook of his neck as he gently shushed him and told him sweet nothing's and lots of 'it's going to be alright's. "Louis baby listen to me. Anyone who ever said anything bad about you. Anything about you're weight, were wrong. They were so wrong because look at you. You're perfectly beautiful the way you are. I love that while you are nowhere near fat, you have just enough stomach to be squishy and easy to hug, without being too fat or too skinny. I love you for you, and nobody else is going to change that. " Harry said as Louis quietly cried into his neck. "But please , don't ever starve yourself , or puke up food on purpose . It's not good for you. I don't want you to hate who you are. I want you to see yourself how I do. Perfect." Harry finished.
⠀
Louis shook his head. "You don't get it. I can't stop, okay? I can't stop just throwing it up. I've started and I've permanently fucked myself up, Harry. It won't stop." He said bitterly, hanging onto Harry tightly and still shaking a little bit. He breathed quietly now.
⠀
Harry tilted Louis' head up to meet his gaze. "It will stop. But only if you choose to try. You're right, it's not going to get better if you keep on like this. But everything takes time and with time, I know you can get better." Harry said confidently, not even thinking about letting Louis off the hook this time . "Do you want to get better? Or do you wanna live life like this forever Lou?"
⠀
Louis hesitantly nodded. "I want to get better." He said, voice hoarse from crying. "I'm sorry." He says quietly, looking down. He tugged on the sleeves of his jumper and shook his head. "I'm really sorry." He apologized repeatedly laying his head on his shoulder gently.
⠀
Harry hugged Louis tighter. "You will get better. We'll get you back to normal Lou . Together." He said smiling lightly as he held onto Louis' hand firmly. "Would you like to go back to bed love? I'll carry you ." Harry said suggestively wanting to spoil Louis when he wasn't feeling so great.
⠀
Louis nodded. "Yes please." He said quietly waiting as Harry scooped him up. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck having a weird breathing pattern, but trying to get it under control. He leaned his head down and closed his eyes, being carried to the bedroom.
⠀
Harry carried Louis into the bedroom, nuzzling their faces together lovingly. He could feel Louis' uneven breathing . He gently laid louis down and took his face between his hands. "Calm down Lou. It's all ok. Breathe , ok? Just breathe I'm right here , nothing's going to happen." Harry said comfortingly.
Louis breathed quietly and slowly, trying to get back to normal. He eventually slowed his breathing and looked at Harry. He'd stopped shaking after a few minutes, looking around the room silently. He laid his head back on a pillow and stared at the ceiling feeling like the room was spinning.
⠀
"Baby if you're not feeling good tell me now and I'll do whatever I can to make it better." Harry told Louis quietly running his hands through Louis' hair. He met Louis' eyes and smiled lightly, butterflies erupting in his stomach. He felt like it wasn't going to be long until he loved this boy. Until he could tell him he loved him without it being too soon. Harry was already so fond of this boy, he wanted to do everything right. Louis deserved the best treatment and Harry was determined to get Louis' condition under control.
⠀
Louis nodded. "I don't feel good. The room is spinning." This had happened a lot of times before. The room would spin and Louis would just stay awake until he blacked out, but somehow, he thought that if he did black out this time, Harry would panic all too much. It wasn't really like he was going to die from just passing out, because he always woke up after it, but Harry hadn't been there for those times.
⠀
"I'll go get some medicine and then we can cuddle ok?" He told Louis , not waiting for an answer and quickly running downstairs, grabbing a bottle of pain killers and a glass filling it with water. He swiftly walked back up the stairs and hurried to Louis, getting two pills and handing him the glass. Once he had downed them , Harry crawled into bed besides Louis, cuddling him into his side. He comfortingly rubbed his back as he hoped Louis would feel better . "It's your head that's bugging you? Causing the dizziness?" Harry asked softly.
⠀
Louis nodded as he curled into Harry's side. "Yeah." He mumbled. He laid his head down and closed his eyes, hoping to stop feeling like everything was spinning. He breathed softly as Harry rubbed his back, calming him down a little bit. He tried listening to Harry's heartbeat to make him sleepy. He felt like Harry liked him, like he actually did like him and he smiled a little bit at the thought, absentmindedly tugging Harry's free hand over and playing with his fingers.
⠀
Harry looked at Louis playing with his fingers and chuckled lightly. "What are you doing Lou?" He asked as he watched the boy mess with his hand. He took his arm that was wrapped around Louis and gently ran his had through Louis' hair, at ease hoping Louis was feeling better.
⠀
Louis just shook his head. "Nothing." He mumbled, humming to himself and continuing to play with his fingers. His head was better. He felt a little bit better just sitting here and cuddling Harry. He smiled up at Harry for a second and then laid his head back down, the smile not leaving his face once.
⠀
Harry laughed lightly . "What's got you so smiley mr.?" He said as he hugged Louis closer, a big smile plastered on his own face. Louis seemed to be feeling better and that made Harry happy. He didn't like when Louis didn't feel well. He seemed so fragile and helpless, and Harry knew he was a strong boy , so it was odd seeing him the complete opposite.
⠀
"You." Louis said simply, his smile still on his face. He felt his cheeks heat up slightly and he knew they were red. He felt the quietness around them. "Just you." He whispered. Louis really liked Harry. He took care of him and asked if he was alright and Louis liked that, wondering if they'd end up even being together for a while. He really did hope so, though.
⠀
"Me?" Harry said still smiling wide. He didn't understand how he was lucky enough to get a second chance. "What's so special about me?" He said running through Louis' hair again. "You're the special one Lou. Cause you make my heart race." He said blushing lightly. He was scared. Scared to ask Louis out in fear of going to fast, thinking Louis would say no. He needed trust .
⠀
Louis shrugged. "What isn't special about you?" He asked quietly. "Your eyes are special. They're green and sometimes when you smile, they get lighter and they just sparkle. You yourself are special. You're super tall and your voice is really deep and the way you laugh is special. The way you speak sounds just beautiful. The way you look at me makes me feel like I actually matter. Harry, you're special." He stopped himself from going on any longer and bit down on his lip, smiling to himself.
⠀
Harry smiled goofily, his heart beating faster than it ever has before. His heart seemed to swell ten times it's size . "I still don't compare to how amazing you are, " he said smiling wider. His smiled faded a bit as he looked down at Louis seriously "But I'm glad you feel that way about me," he said quietly, trembling a bit out of nervousness , finally spitting it out . "Because I really like the thought of my boyfriend noticing those types of things about me" he said smiling very softly, hoping Louis would look at him so he could ask him properly.
⠀
Louis froze, slowly looking up at Harry. "Boyfriend?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. He didn't know if Harry was asking him or not, but he'd hoped he was. He bit his lip, looking at Harry with a little smile creeping into his face. Of course. He really did want to be Harry's boyfriend. He'd wanted it more than anything.
⠀
Harry smiled again looking down at Louis lovingly . "Would you be my boyfriend Lou? For real this time?" He asked hopefully, nervousness racking his body at the thought of him still being upset and saying no. He would blame him if he did though. What he did wasn't exactly easily forgivable .
⠀
Louis' face broke into a grin. "Yes. I would love to be your boyfriend." He said, nodding quickly. Louis felt butterflies erupt in his stomach when he looked at Harry. He felt weird, but it was a good type of weird. He had a boyfriend. Harry was his boyfriend and he actually liked him and no one else.
⠀
"Good. Great." He said smiling wider, his face hurting from how wide he was smiling . He held Louis closer his heart exploding with happiness. "You know what the best part about you saying yes is?" He said as Louis looked up smiling. "I get to kiss you whenever I want." He said blushing and looking down slightly embarrassed.
⠀
Louis looked at Harry. "And when is 'whenever you want'?" He asked, biting his lip. He really wanted Harry to kiss him. He took a little breath and smiled a bit.
⠀
"All the time" he answered quietly, slowly bringing Louis closer to him and without hesitation anymore, pressed his lips to Louis' groaning softly as he pulled him by the waist closer. He was so happy , he couldn't think of anything else that could compare .
⠀
Louis smiled, humming slightly. He slung his arm over Harry gently, loving the warmness of Harry's lips on his. He pulled away slowly, looking at him. "I really like kissing you." He said in a whisper with a little blush on his cheeks. This was what being happy felt like and he loved it.
⠀
"I really like you." he said smiling , the butterflies violently flying around in his stomach as he held Louis tight, loving the close proximity. He had no idea how much he had been missing out on. He really, really felt strongly towards Louis. And it scared him because he thinks he might love him, in such a short period of time. He couldn't let Louis know yet or he might get freaked out.
⠀
"Good." Louis mutters. In the whole time he'd thought they were dating, Louis had such a long time to like Harry and he did. He liked him a lot, but now he kind of found himself loving him and he didn't know whether to tell him or keep it to himself, but for now he decided he wouldn't say anything.
⠀
Harry hesitated , wanting to tell Louis somehow that he cared way more. Believe it or not, Harry always had admired Louis. They didn't just have sex; they also hugged and kissed and cuddled. He realized he had always really liked Louis. "I've always like you. A lot. I just never realized it." He said again.
⠀
"I really like you too, Harry." He mumbled. He always had, and probably always will. Nothing's changed since he has first met him
⠀
"I like you more than a lot, but I'm scared if I say it you might feel like things are going too fast and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable ok?" He said quickly and shyly, trying to imply what he was trying to say , without actually saying it to save it for the first real time. He stared at Louis with pleading eyes hoping he would get it but at the same time hoping he wouldn't.
⠀
Louis smiled a little bit, thinking that he knew what Harry was trying to say. He did love Harry and at least hoped that's what he was talking about. He only nodded. "I know what you're trying to say." He said quietly, blushing slightly. He looked at Harry, biting down on his lip.
⠀
"You do?" Harry asked slightly relieved. He really , really felt strongly towards Louis. He's never felt this way towards any of his past boyfriends or girlfriends. Not even his most recent boyfriend, who he had thought he loved more than life, had made him feel the way Louis does. Suddenly the perfect idea popped into his head. He smiled broadly.
⠀
Louis sighed softly with a smile. He liked Harry a lot. He'd never actually said it truthfully to any of his previous partners, as most of them were jerks and Louis had to end the relationships quickly, but Harry was different. He knew he was different. He just knew it.
⠀
Harry glanced at the clock. It was 12:41pm. He needed to hurry. Quickly rushing to get his pants on, he fumbled around, accidentally tripping and falling to the ground in the process. He heard Louis laugh but Harry was too hyped up. He had the perfect plan to tell Louis, and the perfect gift too. He was impatient and quickly ran to Louis. "Baby I've got to go do something but I'll be here at 8 to pick you up for a date ok? " he said as he placed a quick kiss on his lips and hurriedly put on his shoes.
⠀
Louis raised an eyebrow at Harry as he ran around his room, but he just said a quiet goodbye to him as he rushed out of his house. He stood and went back to the bathroom, taking a shower and brushing his teeth. He got out of the shower and went back to his bedroom putting on some black skinny jeans and a white t shirt with a red jumper over it. He fixed his hair, deciding to wear his glasses today instead, not really wanting to put on contacts. He went downstairs and started watching tv.
⠀
Harry ran to his car , ready to plan the day out before he realized he had forgotten his shirt in the room. He groaned as he pulled out of the driveway. Looks like the first stop was home.
⠀
____________
⠀
Harry decided to go casual due to the setting, deciding on a plain dark blue tshirt and black skinny jeans. He slipped on his shoes, trying to tame his curls. He honestly hated his hair. It was one of the things he was most insecure about. He grabbed his keys, wallet and phone already in his pockets, and got into his car, quickly driving to Louis'. When he pulled up, he went up and knocked on his door, a rush of de ja vu washing over him. He suddenly grew nervous when the door opened.
⠀
Louis smiled as he opened the door. "Hi, babe." He said quietly, slightly getting up on his toes and kissing Harry's lips quickly. He sighed quietly and smiled. "Is where we're going a surprise or can I know?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking up at Harry.
⠀
Harry smiled as Louis pecked his lips. "I love your kisses." He said , blushing at his sudden burst. "By the way we are going to the park. But there will be a surprise" he said cheekily as he held out his hand for Louis.
⠀
Louis took Harry's hand, linking their fingers together and as they started walking to Harry's car. "I like surprises." He said, smiling a little, excitedly and looking up at the sky for a second and then back at Harry.
⠀
"I know. I remember." He said smiling softly as he opened the door for Louis, waiting till he got in closing it and going to get in the drivers side. soon, they pulled up along the side of the street by the park, Harry grabbing a large picnic basket, and went around opening the door for Louis , and linking their fingers , dragging him to the place he had set up earlier. He smiled at how good it looked at night. It was almost like a kid's fort. The giant white sheets hung up in the trees making it almost like an open room, fairy lights hanging all over the area . There was a picnic blanket set down , and a bucket filled with ice, and the same expensive wine he had gotten Louis the night before. Harry smiled looking at Louis hoping for the best.
⠀
Louis' jaw dropped a little at what he was seeing. He didn't want to cry, but no one had ever done something like this for him and he was so overwhelmed that he actually did tear up and looked at the park. "Oh my god, Harry. It's beautiful." He croaked out quietly. He looked up at the taller boy. "Did you actually do this for me?" He asked quietly, a little smile playing on his lips as a tear rolled down his cheek slowly. He sniffled a little bit.
⠀
"Baby..." Harry trailed off as he wiped away his tears with his thumb. "Of course I did. You deserve something special. Now come on." He said as he dragged Louis to the blanket, setting the picnic basket down , and pulling Louis down to sit in his lap. He smiled as Louis looked surprised, blushing . Harry thought it was adorable and couldn't help kissing his rosy cheek, causing him to blush brighter. "I've got all your favorites . Look" he said as Louis timidly began to open the basket.
⠀
Louis peeked in the basket and bit his lip, reminding himself that he'd be okay just eating and smiling back at Harry. He cupped Harry's face in his hands, and pressed their lips together, smiling slightly against his lips and pulling away after a few seconds. "It's perfect. Everything is perfect. Thank you." He said quietly looking at him.
⠀
Harry smiled back and leaned forward, connecting their lips again before pulling back. "Perfection for a perfect boy." He said smiling before reaching into the basket and pulling out a small container of pasta alfredo, knowing Louis use to blab on about it all the time. "I know you're not really keen on the idea of eating-" he began taking off the lid and searching for a fork. "-but you do need to eat something, and I'm not forcing you, but I'm here to help you get better" he said smiling lightly as he stabbed the fork in the pasta , twirling it getting a bite ready for Louis if he agreed.
⠀
Louis swallowed hard, taking slow, deep breaths. He nodded. "Okay. I want to get better." He said in a little voice, opening his mouth and letting Harry feed him the pasta. He chewed and swallowed all of it and closed his eyes, marveling at how good it tasted. He smiled to himself and nodded. "I'll eat a little bit more." He said shyly, not wanting to eat a lot or else he'd get the urge to throw up again and he didn't want to do that. He smiled lightly, blinking a few times.
⠀
"So proud of you..." Harry trailed off as he began twirling another forkful. No matter how hard he tried , one long piece of pasta just wouldn't cooperate. Harry smiled devilishly as he remembered how much Louis liked the movie "The Lady And The Tramp," and had the perfect opportunity. As he slowly guided it to Louis' mouth, he bit down, the one piece of pasta hanging from his mouth. As Louis slowly chewed, Harry took the piece of pasta gently between his fingers and stuck the other end in his mouth . He looked at Louis, and he knew Louis knew what he was doing as he blushed. Harry slowly chewed as he got closer to Louis' mouth. Finally, he took one last bite and his lips were met with Louis', the sparks flying in his stomach. Harry smiled at how cheesy he could be . But he would do anything for Louis.
⠀
Louis felt butterflies erupting all over his body as their lips met. He blushed heavily, looking away to the blanket. He looked back up at Harry. "You're cheesy and amazing." He said quietly, kissing Harry's cheek quickly. Harry knew what Louis liked and what he didn't like and everything about him was perfect, well it was to Louis anyway. He just felt like everything was going to be alright when he was around.
⠀
Harry smiled and slowly began to pack away the pasta, pulling out another container. He opened it and looked at Louis. "I know you don't want to eat much, but I wanted you to at least enjoy one of these" he said as he pulled out a chocolate covered strawberry. He slowly held it towards Louis not wanting to push the boy he loved. Loved. Harry internally began to panic. That was the next step. His body was wracked with nervousness, his cheesy romantic side once again surfacing. He pushed it back though, focusing on Louis .
⠀
Louis nodded, letting Harry feed him the strawberry. He smiled and leaned his head on Harry's shoulder and looked at him. He kissed the side of Harry's neck. He knew he would've missed him if he hadn't of given him a second chance, so he was glad he did. He really couldn't comprehend how much he loved Harry, only hoping that they'd last for a long time. He knew that they would though.
⠀
Harry's hands trembled as he slowly reached into his pocket, pulling out the present , hiding it behind his back. He trembled in fear . He was afraid he may be moving too fast or Louis might not feel the same, but he cared so much and he wanted to show him. "Louis, I know I may not have seemed like it, but there was a reason I use to kiss you, and hug you, and just cuddle, and not just have sex. And it's because I felt this attraction towards you , but I didn't want to say anything thinking that you thought we were just Friends with benefits. And I thought if I did those things it would silence my feelings. But, It didn't . And now that I have you, and learned more about you , not only do I always want to be there for you, but I want to help you. I want you to get better and live the normal life you deserve. And all these pent up feelings made me realize my true feelings." He said quietly, stuttering a bit from nervousness. "So I got you this, and I hope you like it." he said as he carefully revealed the small ring from behind his back. "It's a promise ring. It promises that I'll always be here for you and never let anyone hurt you. It promises that I will care for you unconditionally all the time. It promises many happy moments for what I hope to be a long time, and it promises that I will never make the same mistake I did again , and that I'm going to do things right this time, because I never want to lose you again." He said quietly as he slipped the ring on Louis' small slender finger. "And I got you this , and I did all this not just because you're so important and special to me and deserve the best," he began , pausing to take a breath before finally saying it "But because I love you." He said looking at Louis with so much love and adoration in his eyes, it would make your heart hurt. He really loved Louis and he was scared of his reaction to all this.
⠀
Louis stared at the ring in awe, biting his lip. He really hadn't expected a promise ring at all, but he nodded. "I love you too." He said, his voice breaking slightly. He looked up at Harry, tears in his eyes once again for the same night out of happiness. He wrapped his arms around Harry. "I love you so much." He repeated quietly, pulling out of the hug, and wiping at his damp eyes.
⠀
"I love you too. So much." He said as happy tears pricked his own eyes. He gently began to wipe away Louis' tears . "You're so beautiful. Even when you cry. So beautiful to me." He said absentmindedly . Harry's heart was beating erratically. Everything was falling into place. He hadn't felt anything like this before and although it was new and foreign, he knew he wouldn't take long to warm up to it.
Harry pulled Louis into his lap, holding his waist firmly. He gently set his chin on Louis' shoulder, watching him admire the ring. He kissed his cheek softly before speaking. "One day I'll put a real one on your finger" he said softly, smiling at the thought of marrying Louis some day. It was an amazing thought. He couldn't imagine not living the rest of his life with Louis.
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Louis stopped looking at the ring for a second. "You'd marry me?" He asked a little surprised that Harry would want to marry him. He did think he'd want to marry Harry. He loved him and Harry took care of him which was more than enough to make him want to spend his life with him.
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Harry looked at him flabbergasted . "I can't imagine living my life without you , Lou. You're my whole world." He said as he laid down keeping Louis lying on top of him. He closed his eyes before softy singing . "Cause you're a sky full of stars, im gonna give you my heart." He sang, feeling his heart swell. His love for Louis growing by the second if possible. "Cause you're a sky , you're a sky full of stars. I wanna die in your arms." He sang tightening his grip on his lover slighty, squeezing him affectionately . "Cause you get lighter the more it gets dark " he sang smiling as he nuzzled his head with Louis' , his lips brushing his ear. "I'm gonna give you my heart" he sang quietly in Louis' ear, the meaning of the words only meant for them and no one else.
⠀
Louis hummed quietly, listening to Harry sing to him. He leaned his down on Harry gently. He slung an arm over him, peering up at him. "You're the most amazing guy I've ever loved." He whispered with a little smile. It was true though. Louis loved Harry so much more than anyone else that had ever come into his life. He smiled at the thought of staying with Harry for the rest of his life. He knew he could do that easily.
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"You're the only one I've ever truly loved." Harry confessed , his past resurfacing again. He pushed it away though. It was horrible. He can't believe he had actually been a part of it, and now felt quite ashamed. But he decided to savor their moment, and tell Louis later on. It could wait. Everything can be put on hold for Louis.
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"Really?" Louis asked quietly looking at him. He felt butterflies in his stomach, smiling. "I'm the first?" He questioned with a little smile. He felt good about everything that was happening. Everything was becoming close to perfect just like he'd thought it would be.
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Harry smiled lightly. "Yeah. You're my first love." He said softly before his smile faltered. "The last relationship I had was my first and it was no where near love. It didn't end so well." He told Louis quietly, tears shining in his eyes as he flashed back to the memories. He gripped Louis tighter to him as his hands trembled slightly as he zoned out a bit.
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Louis bit his lip, worry spreading over his face. "Do you want to talk about it? We don't have to if you aren't comfortable talking about it." He said in reassurance, not wanting to push Harry to tell him anything. He held Harry's free hand, stroking the back of his hand with his thumb.
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"I do want to tell you, but i'm afraid it may scare you off. And I don't want to ruin the night." He said sadly, looking down at their joined hands, smiling a little bit. He trusted Louis, he knew he wouldn't hate him. But he was still scared nonetheless. It was the reason he just mindlessly began sleeping around with people ; why he began the whole fuck buddy system .
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Louis shook his head. "I would never leave you. I love you. I don't want to leave you no matter what it is." He tells him softly. "But if you don't want to tell me tonight, I understand. You tell me whenever you're ready." He nodded slowly leaning up and kissing Harry's cheek.
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Harry looked down and sighed as Louis' lips left his cheek. "His name was Adam. We met my freshman year of highschool. I had a huge crush on him, and his friends hated me for being gay. But Adam asked me out one day and I undoubtedly said yes. It was nice. Simple movie. He kissed me at the end of the movie and asked me to come back to his place. I lost my virginity that night and now I wish I had saved it. We "dated" for almost three years, well, at least I thought we were dating. His friends kept telling me to watch out , and I said he liked me so there was nothing to watch out for. But I didn't realize how much it wasn't a real relationship at the time. All we did was have sex and he only kissed me during it. He only cuddled me after. He never took me on a date that didn't lead to him getting pleasure at the end. He would hit me if I tried to deny him so I always went along. One day , he got so mad he dragged a knife down my back. There's still a scar . Finally one day, he came up with a girl, and said he didn't need me anymore. I asked him why he was breaking up with me, and he laughed. He told me we were never together and I was nothing more than a toy. I was never anything to him except his personal sex toy. I was heartbroken and didn't go out for months. When I had finally gained some of my pride back, I went to clubs everyday. Getting smashed , and hooking up with girls and guys alike . I even had a couple of short term fuck buddies. The only reason I did all that was so I could find a person that would still like me after the sex. But no one ever did." Harry confessed tears rolling down his face at a rapid pace. He sniffled before he looked up at Louis. "But then I met you. I stared feeling the same crush feeling I had when I first met Adam. But stronger. I couldn't resist you. And that's why I cuddled, and kissed, and just made out, not always just sex. And you stole my heart. It's a fragile thing now and I was more than willing to give it to you. But I thought you were just in it to fuck, so I stayed back and just watched hoping that maybe somewhere inside your heart you felt the same." Harry finished quietly. Sniffling again as he tried to stop his tears.
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Louis frowned, his eyes watering a little. He shook his head slowly. "Harry." He breathed out slowly. Harry didn't deserve any of that. He hugged his body tightly. "Harry, you're so amazing. You didn't deserve any of that, okay? I'm going to treat you so right and love you and never leave you. Alright?" Louis tried to say everything so smoothly, but everything he said ended up sounding all jumbled and like a mess. A little part of him was angry, but he mostly just felt sorry about everything that had ever happened to mess his boyfriend up so badly. He sniffled a little and let out a little breath. He and Harry had both dealt with really shit guys that had just made them mentally and emotionally hurt, so Louis liked to think it was the reason they'd found each other.
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Harry tried to regain himself, but he felt nothing but guilt. He began to cry even more. "I ended up just like him. I played you like you were nothing. Making you believe something that wasn't real then destroying it in a matter of seconds with no remorse. I broke you're heart and I'm just like him. I'm just like Adam." He cried harder, the realization more than he can handle, he sobbed pathetically. "I'm so sorry Louis." He apologized for what seemed like the millionth time. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to be happy after what I did." He said sobbing into his hands.
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Louis sat up, frantically shaking his head at Harry and grabbing his hands and wiping his tears. "No, no. Harry, listen to me. You are nothing like him. You are so much sweeter and just so much better. You'll never be like him, okay?" He spoke quietly and gently, looking at Harry. "You deserve me. You deserve me more than anyone in this world. You gave me a promise ring. You did all of this just for me. I think that what you've done for me is amazing and I think you're the best person in my life right now." He said, wiping away his own tears and looking at Harry.
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Harry smiled and laughed a little through his tears as he brought Louis close and kissed his lips quickly. He pulled Louis closer hugging him as he tried to stop crying. "The only reason I have a still shred of thankfulness of my stupid sexual actions , is that I got you. Out of all that horrible stuff I got the best thing of all . If I hadn't gone out to sleep with people, as sad as it sounds , I would've never met you." He said pulling back from the hug as he wiped Louis' tears away. "The love of my life." He said smiling again a few stray tears still falling.
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Louis grinned, feeling his heart flutter. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes, having never being called the love of someone's life. He never expected to be called that either, but it was good to be called that. It felt good to be loved regardless. He smiled brightly, kissing Harry and pulling away. "I love you." He mumbled against his lips, feeling nothing but his heart beating against his chest heavily.
⠀
"And I love you." Harry replied smiling as he reattached their lips. They just sat there for a minute, lips pressed together, before Harry began to slowly move his lips against Louis', properly kissing him for the first time. He cupped Louis' cheeks and tilted his head as he opened his mouth slightly, breathing in before reattaching them. Harry slowly, hesitantly, ran his tongue along Louis' lips asking for entrance, his heart beating fast.
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Louis parted his lips allowing Harry's tongue in. He rested his arms over Harry's shoulders. He tilted his head a little bit, smiling a bit. Everything was perfect and he was so happy, which was really all he wanted to be for the past few years, so finally getting it felt amazing. He continued to kiss Harry, slowly and sweetly.
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Harry continued to slowly snog Louis, his emotions on full blast. He pulled back and before he could regret the words, he confessed to Louis . "Im going to do everything right this time. I may not have the first time, but I just want you to know that I truly love you." He said before pecking Louis' lips again panting from the heated kiss.
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Louis nodded, biting down on his lip and looking at him with a smile, taking a breath in. "Okay." He agreed quietly kissing Harry's forehead quickly. He felt so many things about Harry all at once and couldn't really find a word to describe the feeling so he just didn't try to put a label on it. He yawned a little bit and huffed out a breath after.
Harry reached foreward, holding Louis' arms and pulling his back flush against his chest. "Tired Lou?" He said as Louis let out another yawn, the small squeak coming out at the end. "Your yawns are still my favorite" Harry said as he lightly chuckled holding Louis close.
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Louis blushed a little and looked down with a smile. "Shut up." He said, playfully rolling his eyes. "I hate them. Makes me sound like a cat." He scrunched up his nose and looked up at him. "If I could change it, I would you know." He pouted a little.
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"Well even if you could I wouldn't let you , you know." Harry said chuckling. "You're too perfect to be tampered with. I love everything about you . Everything. There are no imperfections about you." He said lovingly as he cuddled Louis closer. He had never felt this happy, or loved, or cheesily romantic. He loved being the "guy" in the relationship. He knew they could both fill that roll, and they were equal, but he liked to be able to hold Louis' smaller figure in his arms, making him feel loved at all times .
⠀
Louis raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "There are many imperfections about me. There are too many to count. You know no ones perfect." He said, smiling a little. He liked being adored like Harry's adored him. He liked being given positive attention. He thought Harry was perfect though. He was perfect and Louis wasn't. He was anything but perfect and he knew it.
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Harry sighed as he noticed Louis closely examining him. "Louis I know what your thinking and I'm not perfect. Like you said there is no such thing as perfect" he said as he held Louis' hands. "But you're the closest to perfect I've ever seen. You're beautiful, and caring, and loving, and funny, and I could go on and on about you but the point is don't ever put yourself down. Would I ever lie to you?" Harry asked seriously trying to repair Louis' thinking. He didn't want his boyfriend to hate himself, to slowly condemn himself as he thought Harry of all people were perfect. Which he most certainly is not. Not even close.
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Louis shook his head. "No, I don't think you would." He said. "I just don't think I'm near perfect at all. I just don't think I am. There won't be a time when I think I am at all. I don't like that many things about myself and maybe that'll change one day, but right now I'm just stuck not liking that many things about myself." He shrugged slightly. "But, you make me love things about myself. You make me love myself." He said, not sure if it made any sense since he was tired and rambling, but he just said it with a smile.
⠀
"I understand Lou. And that's what I'm trying to do. Make you love yourself, hopefully as much as I do." He said softly as Louis yawned again. "You must be tired." Harry sighed as he began to stand up. "I'll take you home now if you want baby." He said as he began to put all the trash in the picnic basket.
⠀
Louis nodded quietly, standing up. "Yeah." He agreed with a smile and tugged the sleeves of his jumper over his hands. He watched as Harry put the trash into the basket and then grinned when he finished, getting on his toes slightly and kissing his lips quickly and holding his free hand.
⠀
Harry smiled and led Louis back to the car, opening the door and letting him get in before closing it and heading to the other side. By the time he had gotten in, Louis was already dozing off. Harry smiled as he started the car, grabbing Louis' hand and knitting their fingers together . Soon he pulled up into Louis' driveway . Louis had slowly dozed off. Harry smiled as he got out and went to the other side, unbuckling Louis and picking him up, supporting him by his bum. Louis sleepily wrapped his arms around Harry's neck nuzzling his face in, and his legs loosely around Harry's waist. Harry smiled as he grabbed Louis' keys slowly from his pocket unlocking the door and closing it as he carried Louis up the stairs. Harry laid Louis down on the bed, slowly stripping him down to his underwear before tucking him in like a child. He slowly leaned down and stroked Louis' cheek before placing a kiss on his forehead. He moved down and placed a tender kiss on his lips . "Goodnight Louis. I'm leaving now." He said softly. "I love you." He said before slowly getting up.
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Louis had been half asleep when Harry was leaving. He rolled over onto his side before mumbling. "I love you too." He let his eyes flutter closed, starting to fall asleep. He heard Harry's shoes on his floor leaving the bedroom, the door closing behind him. He kept his eyes open listening to him go down the steps and out of the door. He listened the the front door shut and Harry's car speed away. Louis raised his hand tiredly, admiring the ring on his finger with a sleepy smile as he slowly fell asleep.
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Harry sped home tired and feeling ready to fall asleep at the wheel. He pulled up to his flat and quickly closed the car door unlocking the front door and stepping inside sleepily. He limped upstairs , stripping to nothing . He climbed in bed, in the nude, falling asleep quickly , smiling at the thought of the blue eyed beauty that had stole his heart. He planned to take Louis to breakfast in the morning. Even if Louis never came over and surprised him in the morning, he still liked to surprise him and make him happy no matter what.
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____________________
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Louis had slept well, getting up earlier than he would've usually. He showered and then put on a white t shirt, and black jeans with the bottoms rolled up. He didn't really have anything to do that day, so he decided to go over to Harry's and wake him up. He got everything he needed and then walked downstairs and out of the door. He started walking, enjoying the fresh air in the morning as the walk shortly ended. He walked up to Harry's door and knocked.
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Harry was half asleep when he heard a knock on the door. He was too tired to get up and go open it. "It's open!" Harry yelled huskily as he slowly sat up, running a hand over his face and through his hair. He stood up and slumped to the bathroom for a quick wee. Whoever was at the door could just wait downstairs for him.
⠀
Louis opened the door and closed it behind him, going upstairs. "Babe?" He said quietly, wandering into Harry's bedroom and sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for Harry to come out. He rubbed at his eyes, yawning a little bit, catching himself squeaking that time and blushing slightly. He was still a little bit tired from the morning.
⠀
Harry flushed the toilet and went to the sink, splashing some water on his face to wake him up enough to see who was here. But first he had to at least put on some underwear. He usually slept nude unless he was with someone. As he walked into the room, he froze as he saw Louis sitting on the edge of his bed. "Lou? What are you doing here?" He asked shocked his face heating up as Louis turned to look at him. Louis had seen him naked before but it was different now.
⠀
Louis giggled nervously, face getting red as his eyes widened slightly. "I didn't have anything to do since I got up too early so, I came over." Louis stated, making it sound more like a question. There was a little silence and Louis looked away, a little smirk on his face. "Think you should put on boxers." He said quietly a little bit embarrassed.
⠀
Harry blushed red as he smirked. "What? Don't like what you see babe?" Harry said cheekily. He slowly approached Louis watching him get redder by the second . He slowly bent forward, then all at once forcing his body weight on Louis pushing him back on the bed. He leaned over laying his Body on Louis' slowly leaning forward and kissing him.
⠀
Louis reached up and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck, playing with the hairs On the back.
⠀
Harry involuntarily moaned goosebumps rising over his body. He slowly began to harden and Harry pulled away from the kiss , fear on his face. He didn't mean for this to happen. He could feel his hard on press onto Louis' crotch and he began to tremble. He wanted to take things slow and he was screwing things up . Louis was probably scared of him now.
⠀
Louis bit his lip and looked at Harry, taking his shaking hand. He looked at Harry. "Do you still want to take it slow?" He asked softly, pecking Harry's lips. "We still can." He whispered reassuringly with a small nod. It wasn't like they hadn't had sex before, but Louis knew how much everything meant to Harry and this was a new relationship. His fingers grazed over the side of Harry's fingers softly and comfortingly. He let's out a little breath, the sun shining through the window on Harry's face nicely.
⠀
"It's your choice. Not my decision, yours. Your my main priority Louis. It may seem like I'm thinking with my dick but I'm not. I know better than to ever hurt you again." Harry said looking into Louis' eyes lovingly, yet still a bit of fear left in them. He didn't want to scare Louis. No matter how much his dick wanted it , he would refrain until Louis was ready. He loved Louis too much to hurt him again.
⠀
Louis felt a little bit smaller looking up. "Can we wait just a little longer?" He asked timidly. He wasn't at all confident about his body. The only reason he had sex with Harry before was because he liked him and he liked his body being praised, but at the same time, he still wouldn't eat that much and he'd puke up what little food he ate so that he could still be with Harry. He wanted to get better or just get a little bit of recovery before it happened.
⠀
Harry surged forward, pressing his lips to Louis' kissing him lovingly before pulling back. "It's ok. I'll wait too." He looked at Louis and noticed the sadness in his eyes. Immediately his heart shattered, thinking he had done something wrong. "Lou what's wrong?" He asked but received no answer as Louis seemed to ignore him. Harry broke down inside. He didn't want to screw things up and he had . He was still the same horrible person he use to be. Quickly standing up, he wend to his drawer and grabbed a pair of boxers before he rushed into the bathroom . He locked the door and turned on the shower to the hottest setting. As he waited for it to warm up, he pressed his back agains the door as tears pricked his eyes. "I'm just like Adam. A monster. I have to force what I want onto everyone else and ruin everything." He said brokenly as he stood there and tried not to cry. He always felt guilty. He was so scared of being like Adam that the littlest things set him off.
⠀
Louis got up from the bed slowly and walked into the hallway, knocking on the door. He hadn't gotten an answer, so he sat on the other side, leaning his head back against the door. "Baby, open the door." He said softly. "Please.. We can talk about everything. Nothing was your fault, okay? I'm not confident with how I look and I don't want to do this now. I'm sorry. Please come out." He coaxed quietly, hugging his knees to his chest. He felt like he ruined things again. This always happened. His past boyfriend was the one that called him fat all the time and hit him for no reason, being taller and stronger like Harry was and it scared him just a little bit.
⠀
Harry sniffled as he heard Louis on the other side . "It's not that Louis. I don't mind if your not ready. Honestly I'm not either. But I was basically forcing it upon you. I'm just like Adam. Just like Adam. You're so beautiful everywhere and everything is perfect about you, and here I go and mess it all up. I said it was going to be different but it's not. I'm rude like Adam, I'm bossy like Adam, I only think about my self , just like Adam! Hell, I basically almost raped you just like he did to..." Harry froze at what he was saying. He wasn't suppose to tell Louis that. He wasn't suppose to tell anyone that. No one knew. And now the long lost secret was out. And Harry couldn't hold it in anymore. He began to break down. He began to heavily sob, raking his shaky hands through his hair as a panic attack began occurring. He became short of breath an inhaled deeply trying to find air but not succeeding. He was going to die .
⠀
Louis sucked in a sharp breath, his hands trembling slightly at the thought of what Adam did to Harry and he stood slowly. He knocked on the door again. "Harry, please. Please just open the door. You have to let me help you." He breathed slowly, trying to open the door again. It was locked. He needed to help Harry. He didn't like being locked out, knowing he could help and he couldn't get through. He couldn't get to Harry when he needed help and it hurt him. "P-Please, please. Open the door. I love you." He said, his voice getting choked up. He needed to help him. He didn't want to stand by like this. He didn't like it.
⠀
Harry continued to sit on the floor, trying to control his breathing, but it was just getting worse. The shower was still on making noise drowning out Harry's cries a bit. He began to panic as his heart beat faster and his breathing shortened. He was dying. He couldn't get it under control and the door was locked. He was too far from the door and couldn't move. "Louis!" He shouted out of breath. He felt so helpless and just wanted Louis. He was having a panic attack and he didn't know how to stop them. Then he remembered the key he had to the bathroom that he kept for purposes when Adam was around. "Key! On the drawer!" He yelled to Louis as best he could . But he couldn't breathe, he couldn't function. Slowly he laid down and curled up into a ball. He wasn't suppose to do this but it made him feel some comfort.
⠀
Louis scrambled around to the bedroom trying to find the key that he was talking about, his mind an absolute mess from what was happening. He finally opened enough drawers or find the key and ran back to the bathroom, his hand still shaking terribly making it hard for him to open then door. He steadied his hand and unlocked the door quickly, going inside. He breathed out quietly, looking down at Harry. He turned the shower off and sat down on the floor next to Harry. He tried his best, pulling him up and over to his body, wrapping his arms around him. "Hey, you're okay now. Everything's alright." He spoke quietly, pressing a kiss to Harry's head.
⠀
"No Adam don't touch me please I'm sorry" he cried out as he trembled in Louis' arms. He knew it was Louis, but the past felt so real. He still couldn't breath and he was crying and trembling and he just wish he would pass out already. "Make it go away Louis , please, make it go away." He sobbed as he clawed at Louis' shirt. No matter what he did he couldn't find comfort in anything. His breathing got heavier and he began to cough, making it even harder. Harry just wanted to die in that moment.
⠀
Louis felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He looked down at Harry, rubbing his back softly. "Harry, you have to breath, baby." He whispered, but he had no clue how to stop everything that was happening. "Just stop thinking about it. Think about us. Think about me." He said, tears slowly coming down his cheeks. He didn't like seeing Harry like this. It hurt seeing him hurt and it just hurt seeing him depend on him to stop it when he didn't know how. He hugged him tighter and squeezed his eyes shut, taking deep breaths. "Do you want to go to bed again? We can go back in the room." He offered softly, hating himself for having no clue what to do.
⠀
"Can't breathe Louis." Harry said pathetically as he began to sob again. Crying wasn't helping his situation but he couldn't help it. He could feel the walls closing in on him and could basically feel Adams groping hands. Harry screamed as he felt an arm wrap around him, still stuck in the flashback thinking it was Adam. He opened his eyes and saw Louis trying not to cry. He felt even more guilty now. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis and hugged him, desperately trying to stop his tears. "Bed" Harry said quietly through his tears.
⠀
Louis quickly nodded and stood, helping Harry up with him and keeping him supported as he walked back to the bedroom, laying him down on the bed and laying next to him. He'd kicked off his shoes and looked at Harry. "You're okay, see? Adam isn't here. It's just me. He won't hurt you ever again." He said gently, brushing his hair away from his eyes and wiping away Harry's tears before wiping away his own.
⠀
Harry had stopped crying , but was still struggling to get his breathing under control . "He said he would come back for me. Said he was going to find me and finish what he started if his g-girlfriend ever broke up with him" Harry struggled out quietly still having to gasp for a breath. He just needed a hug and comfort. But right now he felt anything but at ease. He knew Adam could come back at anytime, and when he did he would keep his promise and ruin Harry again. That's why he was always the dominant one . He couldn't stand people touching him like that. He never let people touch him like that, he always took the lead. And now Louis knew why and Harry felt so vulnerable and didn't want to burden Louis. He was so ashamed.
⠀
Louis shook his head. "I won't let him hurt you. I won't let him come near you." He promised, though he wasn't sure if he could though. He just hugged Harry tightly and hoped that he really wouldn't come back. He never wanted to hurt anyone, and he couldn't, but he wanted to make sure Harry didn't get hurt again and he wasn't sure how he could do that at all.
⠀
Eventually Harry's breathing normalized being wrapped in Louis' arms. "I know you're not a violent person. You don't have to promise to put yourself in harms way like that for me. I won't let you ." Harry said as tears threatened to roll down his cheeks again. "I'm so sorry I did this. I'm sorry I freaked out and I'm sorry I didn't tell you but no one was suppose to know he did that to me" Harry said softly.
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Louis sighed. "It's okay. Don't even think about it." He said quietly. He shook his head in denial. "I'm still gonna try and make sure he doesn't hurt you. He'll have to hurt me before he touches you." He said quietly, stroking his hair comfortingly.
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Harry sniffed feeling stupid for being such a big baby. "Over my dead body. If anyone hurt you I wouldn't be able to live with myself for letting it happen." Harry said as he looked up at Louis . He admired how strong he was being about this even though Harry could see the fear in his eyes. "You're so strong baby, but you don't have to be. I'm ok now. It's ok." He said softly seeing the pained expression on Louis' face.
⠀
Louis kissed Harry's lips quickly, and looked at him. "I hate seeing you so upset." He said sniffling a bit. He couldn't stand this happening to Harry. He didn't deserve it. He bit his lip and looked at him. "You didn't deserve that at all. You're such a good person, Harry." He assures him with a slight smile.
⠀
Harry sighed lightly wrapping Louis in a comforting hug. "I may be now but I wasn't back then." Harry said sadly kissing the top of Louis' head. His heart still beat fast and he still had butterflies in his stomach from the slightest touch. This boy is driving him crazy, and he's so glad to have someone like him.
⠀
Louis felt more relaxed as he smiled a little bit and took a breath. He laid his head on Harry's chest, hearing his heartbeat. He hummed quietly to himself. He fiddled with the ring on his finger grinning at it. He loved Harry so much and wanted to make sure he was always treated the best. He just really loved him.
⠀
Harry grinned as he watched Louis play with his ring. "Do you like it?" Harry asked as he lovingly watched Louis. He felt like they were really married, and he wondered if Louis would do the same thing with his wedding ring the way he is playing with it right now. He found it undoubtedly adorable that Louis just sat and admired it. He didn't know it meant that much to him. It was an amazing feeling.
⠀
Louis looked up and nodded. "I love it. It's the best present I've ever gotten." He said with a little nod. He thought a lot about their future. He and Harry's future. He wondered if they would ever actually get married. He hoped they would. He thought about what would've changed. Maybe he'll get over his eating disorder in the future. As long as Harry was there he was sure he would soon.
⠀
Harry smiled as Louis continued to admire his ring like it was the 8th wonder of the world. His whole heart burst into butterflies as his love grew. Harry laid his back against the headboard and tenderly pulled Louis onto his lap, his back facing Harry. Louis laid his head on Harry's shoulder and turned slightly. "I can't wait to marry you." Harry said softly with a small smile.
⠀
Louis blushed a little and peeked back at Harry. "When would we even get married?" He questioned quietly, a little smile on his face as he asked, pulling Harry's hand to him and holding it, linking their fingers together and looking at their hands.
⠀
Harry smiled softly at their linked fingers, feeling tingles shoot through his hand. "I'd marry you any day." Harry said softly. "Whenever you feel ready; whenever you feel comfortable if you feel comfortable. And I can give you a cheesy proposal, and mentally replay in my mind everyday the glorious minute you said yes." Harry said smiling wide, somewhat off in a fantasy world.
⠀
A smile spread across Louis' face. "I'd be comfortable whenever you proposed to me." He said in a gentle voice. He turned back around and leaned his head back on Harry, continuing to think about it. Maybe he was thinking to far ahead. He didn't know, but he felt it was easier to just imagine a happy future. Would they even have kids? Louis had always been fond of children.
⠀
"If I could I would propose right now but I don't think you'd be very comfortable with that." Harry said chuckling and cuddling Louis closer. "I'm just truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you." Harry said more serious, raking his fingers through Louis' hair. He remained quite. "What's on your mind Lou?" He asked softly.
⠀
Louis huffed a little bit. "Do you want kids one day?" He asks shyly, looking down at his hands. He did like the feeling of being in love. It was a warm and a bubbly feeling in his stomach. It was like coming home after a long time. Being in love with Harry was nice and he liked everything about it.
⠀
Harry smiled. "Of course. Even thought you and I can't physically have kids as much as I've always wanted biological even though I've always been gay. But with you, I would do anything for you. And I definitely want to start a family with you." He said truthfully as he ran his hand up and down Louis' arm . Having a family with Louis would be his ideal dream. Having a family with the boy he loves. But even though he's been gay for as long as he can remember, it always saddened him that he would never be able to have children that were biological to both partners.
⠀
Louis nodded, looking up. "We could always adopt, or get a surrogate. Everything would work out and we'd have the most perfect family." He said, getting lost in picturing them having a family. Part of him was scared that he wouldn't be a good dad. He was mainly scared about that since he knew Harry would probably have it down, but he was sure that it wouldn't happen for a while, so he tried not worry about it.
⠀
"We can always adopt. I don't want a surrogate. I don't want someone else to get to birth a child for us. I just dont think it's right. We would have a little boy or girl, and we would be daddys. " he said almost dreamily. He looked down at Louis lovingly. "You'd be an amazing father you know that?" He said quietly, continuing to run his fingers through his hair. He could see it now. His perfect family. His perfect little child, and his perfect husband by his side.
⠀
Louis shook his head. "You'd be better." He said, a little adoring look on his face. They'd finally have a perfect life. Not exactly perfect but in their own way they'd be perfect. He did love children. He'd always took care of his sisters and he'd babysit at times, so they were never a hassle to him. He liked taking care of them. He didn't know why he was so scared he wouldn't be a good father.
⠀
"Louis, you would overrule me any day. You would always tell me about taking care of your sisters, and once I even went over to help. You were amazing. You know how to stay calm and love them completely. You would be the perfect father. " he said grabbing Louis' hand and linking their fingers again. "And the perfect husband." He finished with a smile.
⠀
Louis smiled at their hands. "I'd wake you up with breakfast every morning." He promised, leaning back and just thinking about it. "And I'd make you dinner and just try and be the best husband for you." He said with a small grin. He meant it too. He thought that he'd be able to cook more in the future. He wanted to do that for Harry.
⠀
"I would love that." Harry said kindly. "But I don't want you to think you have to ask like a housewife or the girl in this relationship, because that's not what I want. I also want to shower you in gifts, and meals, and love, and anything in the world you want baby. I'd do anything for you Lou." He said sweetly, blushing a bit as his sappy side began to show again. He played around with their linked fingers a bit, blushing out of embarrassment , but still smiling, because it was all the truth.
⠀
Louis smiled, watching as Harry's cheeks went red. "You look so cute when you blush. I think it's adorable." He said softly, kissing Harry's cheek. "I just love everything about you though." He admitted , his focus switching to their hands and how nice they got together. He sucked in his lip as he thought of everything he loved about Harry, there being too many things that he had to stop.
⠀
"Baby don't suck you're lip." He said softly , causing Louis to stop and look at him strangely. Harry gently gripped his chin and pulled him closer. "That's my job." He said as he slowly attached their lips in a sweet kiss, slowly sucking on Louis' lip to prove his point, still holding him close to his chest as his arms found Louis' waist. Despite Louis having to turn his head back behind him to kiss Harry, Harry hoped he didn't mind because he just really wanted to kiss him and didn't want to wait any longer.
⠀
Louis smiled and laughed a little, kissing Harry softly, his heart fluttering in his chest when Harry sucked his lip. He turned around, so he could properly kiss Harry. He wrapped his arms around Harry's neck gently, tilting his head a little bit.
⠀
Harry pulled back and laughed, making Louis chuckle and give him a look. "I just can't believe this is real." He said cheesily as he dipped in for another kiss, opening his mouth slightly as he moved his lips against Louis' lovingly. He smiled into the kiss as he brought Louis closer .
⠀
Louis smiled and kissed Harry, pulling away slightly. "Believe it." He mumbled against his lips, going back to kissing him. He agreed that this relationship was like a dream and he wouldn't be surprised if he woke up and this whole thing was a dream and he was back to his crappy old life in a bad relationship.
⠀
Harry pulled away again, smiling like an idiot. "You'll never lose me." He said before kissing Louis' forehead lovingly, staring at him with a serious , yet happy expression. "Come shower with me." He said plainly. "Nothing else, just shower." He said kissing Louis' shoulder before trailing kisses up his jaw to his cheek, lingering there a little longer. "I love you so much." He said quietly as he kissed Louis' neck, laying there .
⠀
Louis was hesitant at giving an answer, before he nodded. "Yeah, okay." He answered, kissing Harry's lips again, before slowly removing his shirt, blushing a little and trying to be a little bit more confident. He tried hiding his blush and crossing his arms over his chest. He bit his lip. "I love you too." He really did love Harry and would do whatever he wanted.
⠀
Harry kissed Louis' lips again. "You don't have to if you don't want to Lou. Really. It's just an offer." He said as he slowly got out of bed. He slowly began to walk to the bathroom before he stopped, and turned around walking back to Louis. He gave him another long kiss before breaking and resting their foreheads together. Harry held Louis' waist where there was exposed skin and slowly brushed his fingers over it . "By the way, you don't have to be embarrassed in front of me. I think all of you is incredibly beautiful." He said softly with a smile.
⠀
Louis smiled as he watched Harry walk away into the bathroom and he waited a little bit, debating on whether or not to go and follow him when he decided he would and undressed himself quickly, going into the bathroom timidly. "Harry?" He said in a soft voice, barely loud enough for him to hear. He really did believe Harry when he said he thought he was beautiful. He believed him enough to go to him.
⠀
Harry had just started the shower and had stepped into the warm stream when Louis called him. He slowly pulled back the curtains enough to peek his head out. He didn't look at Louis for sake of privacy incase he didn't want Harry to see anything. "I'm in here baby. If you're going to join me, I'm right here ok? You don't have to be afraid because you're beautiful and I love you and won't do anything you don't want me to ok?" He said softly as he smiled, despite him not being able to see Louis. His heart raced at the thought of Louis actually joining him. But he had to maintain control. This was special.
⠀
Louis took a deep breath and shivered a little before stepping in the shower with Harry and blushing immediately. He'd never showered with anyone whether it was sexual or not. He just hadn't. He smiled at Harry slightly. "Hi." He muttered quietly, biting his lip. He took a deep breath.
⠀
"Hi" Harry said , his eyes now closed since Louis was in here with him. Louis was silent before Harry spoke up again. "I won't look unless you want me to ok?" He said kindly as he kept his eyes shut. He knew what Louis' body looked like. But now he knew that Louis had always been self conscious about himself and he didn't have the decency to even ask him about it. Now he took Louis as his first priority.
⠀
Louis dropped his arms to his sides. He waited a few seconds before saying anything else. "You can look if you want. I don't really mind or anything." He stammered out, clearing his throat a little in order to speak better instead if being so nervous. He bit the inside of his cheek and gave a small grin looking at Harry.
⠀
Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked at Louis. He smiled and slowly stepped foreward hugging Louis despite the circumstances. "I'm proud of you babe. I'm glad you trust me." He said before he slowly place his hands on Louis' stomach , smiling. He bent over and kissed his stomach, knowing that it was hard to love his body when he didn't even want to eat. He placed another small kiss before nuzzling his nose into it. "So beautiful" Harry muttered before he brought himself back up and rubbed his nose with Louis' smiling.
⠀
Louis smiled a bit more, pecking Harry's lips. "Thank you." He mumbled. He really did feel grateful to have Harry in his life, making him feel as beautiful as he was praised for being. He didn't see it, or feel it at all, but Harry did so maybe it was there. He kept trying so hard to even do so much as feel just beautiful, but he couldn't and so he just sort of gave up on himself.
⠀
Harry smiled slightly before it was replaced with a serious expression. "Say it ." Harry said. Louis looked up confused. Harry sighed. "I know you don't see what I do, but could you at least try? Say it. Say 'I'm beautiful' . Please ? I want you to begin to see how amazing you really are." Harry said smirking as he grabbed Louis' hand in his. He really just wanted this beautiful fragile and slightly broken boy to learn to love himself. Because Harry had too much love for Louis and he felt he needed to share some of that.
⠀
Louis was quiet. He looked at Harry, not knowing if saying it would make the situation any better. But he'd say anything to make Harry happy. "I'm beautiful." He said. The words coming from his mouth felt foreign and weird, not true and they didn't feel right, but he said it, trying to keep it in his brain to get better at loving himself. He linked their fingers together slowly and huffed out a breath.
⠀
Harry leaned foreward and trailed his lips down his neck, before traveling back up and placing a long kiss on his cheek, hovering there. "Say it again baby. I know you didn't feel it." He said as he pulled back to look at Louis. "I'll say it then you say it ok?" He asked Louis with pleading eyes. "You're undeniably beautiful. You're so completely and perfectly sculpted that gods look at you with their jaws open. You make straight men go gay just for you because you are so incredibly beautiful. " he finished his mini speech. "You're beautiful." Harry repeated as he looked at Louis pleading him to repeat it until he somewhat believed it.
⠀
Louis listened to Harry go on for a second, even laughing a little bit, lightening up his mood a little. "I'm beautiful." He said, only a tiny bit of confidence in his voice. Louis felt it a little bit, realizing that maybe his eyes weren't such a weird color that didn't match on him at all and maybe his hair was a good look on him and maybe he should wear his glasses more. All of whichhe thought were imperfections, now just kind of fixed themselves so that he felt better about them.
⠀
Harry smiled as he saw Louis deep in thought, with a smile. He was bursting with happiness. It was working . "Again" he said softly as he smiled and leaned close to Louis' ear "you're beautiful ." He whispered as he smiled wider, placing a long kiss on Louis' cheek.
⠀
Louis smiled feeling Harry's lips linger on his cheek. "I'm beautiful." He said softly, keeping the smile on his face. He was starting to think that he was. He wasn't a super model or anything over the top, but maybe he was beautiful.
⠀
Harry smiled even wider. "Again" he whispered one last time. His lips hovered right by Louis' his warm breath able to be felt. "You're beautiful. And i love you." He said wanting to kiss Louis so bad but wanting him to say and believe it first. He slowly grabbed both of Louis' Hands intwining their fingers together. He wanted , needed, Louis to see himself for who he really is.
⠀
Louis waited a second, staring at Harry. "I'm beautiful." He breathed out. He blinked a few times. He felt beautiful, trying to trap the phrase in his mind so that he would feel it all day. "I love you too." He said a little bit louder, glancing down at Harry's lips, wanting badly to kiss him in the moment.
⠀
"Damn right you're beautiful" he said huskily as he looked at Louis. He chuckled at the look of pure love that sat on Louis' face as he stared at Harry's lips so close to his own. Normally Harry would have immediately filled the gap, but he wanted Louis to know that he had a say in things too and could take control if he wanted. "Well?" Harry said waiting patiently. "Kiss me." He said smiling at Louis .
⠀
A smile grew on Louis' face and he immediately closed the gap between their lips, smiling and cupping Harry's face in his hands. He enjoyed the feel of kissing Harry. His lips were soft and he felt like everything around them wasn't there. It was like they were the only people on the earth and that felt amazing.
⠀
Harry smiled as he felt peace on earth from that kiss. He pulled back slowly smiling as he turned Louis around. He pulled them both under the warm shower stream. Harry grabbed the shampoo bottle, squeezing some on his hand before setting it down, and slowly began to work it into Louis' hair, gently massaging his head. Louis hummed and Harry smiled, leaning foreward to kiss his shoulder.
⠀
Louis smiled, feeling relaxed and happy. He loved everything about this moment. He didn't want any of it to end, though he knew that it would eventually have to. He smiled, in complete bliss as Harry's lips met his shoulder, the warm water running over both of their bodies and making everything just feel a bit calmer. Louis let his eyes flutter shut.
⠀
Harry smiled as Louis closed his eyes, looking completely calm and at ease. He backed Louis back into the stream and washed out his hair. Harry turned and grabbed the bath poof, pouring a fair amount of body wash on. Harry stopped before he could take action. "I don't want to do anything you don't want me to ok?" He said quietly as he looked at Louis, his body completely perfect. Harry sighed. For Louis he would hold back. He would even think of touching him unless Louis wanted him to.
⠀
Louis nodded staring at Harry. He cleared his throat and smiled slightly. "You can. It's okay." He stuttered out. He loved Harry. Harry loved him. He wouldn't hurt him or do anything Louis didn't like. So, he just kept that in his head to remember it. He nodded again in approval, a bit of a nervous one sided smile on his face as he looked at the taller boy.
⠀
Harry leaned foreward and kissed Louis. "I love you." He said quietly before working the soapy bath poof over Louis' upper body . He slowly did Louis legs before turning him to face him and washing his chest. He leaned foreward and kissed Louis' stomach before washing over it, then hesitantly stopping before Louis' privates, afraid he had gone too far. Harry began to tremble a little bit .
⠀
Louis saw Harry being trembling and pulled Harry's face to his, their lips meeting quickly. "It's okay. I love you." He reassured him in a gentle voice, kissing his lips once more, before just smiling at him. He really did think it was okay. They loved each other, so everything would be okay.
⠀
Harry nodded and slowly guided his hand down, washing Louis' lower region. He loved Louis and was glad he trusted him, but he didn't know if he trusted himself. Harry's hand accidentally brushed over Louis member, causing it to go stiff and Louis let out a little tuft of breath. Harry froze and began to panic out of fear. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to I love you and I didn't mean to please I'm sorry I'm -" Harry panically rambled.
⠀
Louis' breath hitched and his cheeks heated up quickly, turning red. He shook his head. "Harry, it's okay. Calm down. I love you too." He said, trying to calm him down. It wasn't like he was trying to do it. He just wanted Harry to know it was okay. He didn't seem like he trusted the situation as a whole, so Louis just wanted to calm him down. He loved this boy so much and he didn't want anything to ruin it.
⠀
Harry steadied his breathing quickly. "Ok." He said softly as he finished washing Louis. His hand brushed over it again and Louis let out quiet moan. Harry's cheeks heated up at the thought that he could have that affect on Louis. "Do you want me to fix it or just leave it?" He said softly, not asking Louis for anything, just wanting to show him love. But even if he didn't want him to, that was ok.
⠀
Louis' mind was hazy, a real mess. He nodded. "Fix it, please." He said, shyly a small smile on his face. He leaned up and kissed Harry's cheek. "You..um..You don't have to." He assures him in a quiet voice. He trusted Harry. As long as he was here, everything would be fine. He'd be okay. He knew he loved him and right now he just wanted him to know that and nothing else.
⠀
Harry nodded and slowly wrapped his hand around Louis, still slightly afraid he'd do something wrong. He looked at Louis and kissed him passionately as he began to pump Louis. The pent up love and slight lust was pushing itself out through his Lips as he moved them against Louis', slowly rubbing Louis' member.
⠀
Louis let out soft moans, kissing Harry. Everything about it just felt right and Louis was in love. He draped his arms over Harry's shoulders and kissed him gently. He felt beautiful, which was something he hadn't really felt in a few years and he was happy. Everything was okay.
⠀
Harry could hear Louis whimper as he pulled away and his face scrunched up on pleasure. Harry knew he was close. Louis moaned again and Harry kissed him. "Baby you're so beautiful" he said as Louis hid his face in Harry's neck a moaning mess. Harry sped up his pumping to a faster rate and Louis was losing it. "It's ok baby. Let it go for me." He whispered as he kissed Louis' neck lovingly.
⠀
Louis whined quietly, pressing a little kiss on the side of Harry's neck. He felt his legs tremble and a rack of pleasure wash over his body quickly as he came with a moan. "Harry." He moaned quietly, trying his best to steady his breath. He took a breath and pulled away moving his face from Harry's neck. He looked at him for a second, kissing his lips gently. "I love you ." He mumbled against his lips.
⠀
"Baby" Harry breathed out as he pecked Louis again, Louis panting from riding out his high. "Baby you're so beautiful. I love you so much. " he said as he let go of Louis and grabbed the poof again and kissed Louis . "I love you so much." He said before he began to clean Louis up again. Harry finished and quickly kissed Louis' lips before he applied some shampoo to his own hair. Harry watched as Louis looked at him with a sheepish smile, and Harry shot a reassuring one back. He closed his eyes as he smiled at the ground. He was so in love .
⠀
Louis smiled big. "I'm really in love with you." He admitted quietly, his cheeks turning red from the embarrassment. He was in love with Harry. Everything about him was perfect and he loved it. He stared at his ring that had gotten washed in the shower now, glistening a little bit from the wetness.
⠀
Harry smiled as he leaned foreward and kissed Louis' rosy cheek . "Well they always told me if I like it then I should put a ring on it." He said laughing at his stupid cheesy joke. He connected their lips , wet from the shower water, and smile before breaking away and linking their fingers together. 'So this is what heaven is like' he thought to himself.
⠀
Louis chuckled and looked at their hands together. He leaned up kissing his cheek once more before just smiling. Everything was good. He watched as Harry washed the shampoo out of his hair, cleaning himself up and then stopping the shower. They both stepped out, Louis wrapping a towel around his waist.
⠀
Harry slowly wrapped his lower body in a towel and walked up quietly behind Louis. He creeped his arms around Louis' waist , chuckling a bit when he jumped. Harry pulled him flush with his chest, resting his chin on Louis' right shoulder. He slowly placed a kiss to his shoulder, then another to his neck tenderly. He moved his face back to Louis' shoulder , pressing his lips to Louis' shoulder again, but not kissing him. He remained like that, holding Louis close in nothing but a towel , his lips pressed to Louis' warm skin as he closed his eyes in bliss.
⠀
Louis had gasped when Harry caught him from behind. He smiled and settled his arms over his shoulders before humming quietly, enjoying the comfortable silence surrounding them. He closed his eyes, feeling Harry's lips pressed to his shoulder. Everything about his life as of right here in this moment was perfect.
⠀
Harry hummed in pleasure, smiling before kissing his shoulder again. He moved his face closer to Louis', Harry's lips pressed into Louis' cheek. "So what do you want to do today my love?" He asked quietly his lips brushing against Louis' cheek as he talked. He smiled and continued to kiss Louis' cheek, drinking In Louis' warmth, completely and utterly whipped for this boy.
⠀
Louis let a lazy smile fall over his lips. He shuddered slightly as he felt his lips so close. "I don't know. Anything you want." He says quietly. He kissed Harry's cheek softly, shuffling slightly to do so. He didn't exactly have a preference on what he wanted to do. He just wanted to be with Harry. As long as he could do that, he was sure he'd be fine.
⠀
"How about..." Harry thought for a second before a brilliant idea popped into his head. "How about we go to the fair by the beach?" He said smiling against Louis' skin. He really hoped he would say yes, because Harry knew that there was rides, like the tunnel of love as cheesy as it seemed, he could win Louis a stuffed toy, share food with him, and cuddle with him on the Ferris wheel. Harry was very excited.
⠀
Louis looked at him with wide eyes when he'd said the fair. He nodded excitedly. "Yeah. That sounds fun." He agreed happily. He hadn't been to a fair since he was younger and went with family, but he figured he'd have a much better time with Harry. He wanted to go. He was happy to go and would anywhere Harry wanted.
⠀
Louis turned around facing him nodding excitedly. Harry laughed. "You're so cute when you're excited." He said as he leaned forward and kissed Louis' nose slowly. "Go get dressed love and we'll go." He said quietly before gently kissed Louis , smiling against his lips as he gently pulled him closer. He didn't want to take to long, but Louis was so intoxicating .
⠀
Louis had no clue if Harry knew what he did to him. He made his knees weak, his heart stop. He made him forget any problems he'd ever had and he loved it. He kissed Harry's lips quickly once more, lingering there for a second more and then spinning out of his grasp and walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, getting his close back on.
⠀
Harry walked into the room, carelessly shedding the towel as he grabbed his clothes and began to change. He stared as His boyfriend dressed himself, Harry admiring the way Louis' back muscles flexed when he moved. Louis turned around and caught Harry staring. Harry quickly looked away, his face turning a bright red color as he smiled at the ground. "Sorry." He said softly as he gazed at Louis, his eyes glazing over with love. He bash fully bent over as he sat on the bed, slipping on his shoes.
⠀
Louis smiled a little bit, slipping his shirt on finally and sitting by Harry, putting on his shoes as well. He leaned over and kissed his cheek. He smiled brightly. Harry did make him feel beautiful and feeling it felt better than any other feeling.
⠀
Harry finished tying his laces, before turning to face Louis on the bed. He leaned forward, placing his hands on the exposed skin of his upper hips from his shirt riding up. Harry slowly stroked his thumbs over the skin, his fingertips bursting with little flames . "You are beautiful." He said matter-of-factly as he placed a gentle kiss at the base of Louis' neck. "I love you so much," he said softly, as he lovingly rubbed his nose on Louis' forehead. "My beautiful , beautiful baby." He said even quieter before placing a long kiss on his forehead, his heart bursting with love.
⠀
Louis' face flushed and he smiled, kissing Harry's lips quickly. "I love you more." He said softly. Any physical contact with Harry just felt warm and safe. He sighed out a little breath before slowly getting up from the bed and tugging at Harry's arm. "Come on then, lovely. We've got somewhere to be." He said in a joking voice, biting down on his lip gently and smiling at his boyfriend.
⠀
Harry slowly stood up, chuckling as he brought Louis in for a short kiss. "You're so cute when you're excited." He said with a smile. He grabbed his wallet, phone, and keys, following Louis downstairs and out the door. Harry, out of habit, held the door open for Louis, closing the passenger side and going into the drivers seat. As Harry began to back out of the driveway, he pulled down the road to the beach to the fair. Harry frowned slightly as he thought something was missing, he just couldn't place what. Suddenly it hit him, and Harry tenderly reached over grabbing Louis' hands and molding their fingers together. He took his thumb , stroking it over the back of Louis' hand lovingly. With a small smile on his face, he pulled up to a stoplight and took this time to look at Louis. He loved holding Louis' hand. Or any part of him for that matter. Louis' hand in his felt like he could take on the world .
⠀
Louis smiled and peered over at Harry. He squeezed his hand and leaned over, quickly kissing his cheek and smiling, looking out of the window. He really loved Harry. Everything about him in Louis' eyes was perfect and just amazing. He let out a little sigh, watching everything outside go by, getting more and more excited by the second.
⠀
Harry finally pulled into the parking lot, hastily getting out and running to the other side to open the door for Louis. He blushed as he thought to himself that it wasn't necessary for him to do this everyone, he Just felt like his prince shouldn't have to lift a finger. Harry smiled lightly, taking Louis' hand and helping him out. He closed the door locking the car, grabbing Louis' hand and walking towards the entrance booth. "Two tickets please" he said to the lady. She mindlessly got the tickets and collected the money. Harry noticed her smiling flirtatiously . Harry's insides boiled as she walked her fingers closer to Louis. "So, you have a girlfriend?" She asked in almost a purr. Louis blushed as he looked down flustered. Harry pulled his chin up to meet his gaze as he placed a soft loving kiss to his lips, partially to comfort him, and partially to show the girl he was his. Harry pulled back and smiled. Before facing the lady with fire in his eyes. He grabbed the tickets and growled out ,"Mine." And with that he dragged Louis through the entrance to the fun and games, feeling sad and yet still angry at the same time. Jealous.
⠀
Louis was never good with people hitting on him, especially when it was of a gender he wasn't interested in. He felt ultimately better once Harry kissed him. He was pulled off away from the girl in the ticket booth and he gave a smug smirk to Harry. "You're cute when you're jealous." He commented, looking up at Harry and kissing his lips quickly. He took his hand, lacing their fingers together, his cheeks still having a red tint to them. He smiled to himself before looking up at the rides in front of him.
⠀
Harry chuckled as he slowed to a stop. He pulled two bracelets out of his pocket, slipping one on Louis before putting the other on his own wrist. "Now we can ride whatever you want love." He said with a smile, the constant glint of admiration shining brightly in his eyes as he watched Louis admired their surrounding. It would be dark soon, and Harry wanted to go on rides before then, saving the Ferris wheel for last. He smiled at Louis again before leaning over and kissing his cheek, slowly moving down , placing a gentle one on his neck . He smiled against the skin and gently blew air Into it, feeling Louis shiver . "We can go wherever you want baby." He said softly .
⠀
Louis breathed out quietly, staring around for a second more and then pulling him to the teacups and getting in line. They reached the front of the line and showed their wristbands, getting to the first teacup Louis ran to. Louis watched Harry slide in next to him as the ride started, spinning the wheel in the middle to make the teacup spin around faster. The ride ended after a few minutes and Louis was incredibly dizzy, leaning on Harry for support a few times as they walked away from the ride.
⠀
Harry laughed as Louis kept swaying as he walked, holding onto him as the ride had made him completely dizzy. "Wasn't such a good idea to go on that was it." He said laughing again as Louis' grip tightened . Harry stopped walking and slinked his arm around Louis' waist, lifting him up bridal style. Louis held on tightly to Harry's neck, and Harry laughed as he carried Louis looking for a bench. "I always knew I would sweep you off you're feet." He said in a half joking , half serious manner.
⠀
Louis his his face in Harry's neck, laughing a little bit. He pecked the side of Harry's neck and clung to him for a little longer until they found a bench. He sat next to Harry on the bench, leaning his head on his shoulder god a second, still trying to make everything steady and stop spinning in circles. He stated silent for a few seconds, his eyes closed, opening them again to see everything still. He smiled a bit and looked at Harry, a smile back on his face. "Where to now?" He asked, cuddling into his side slightly.
⠀
Harry smiled as he wrapped his arm around Louis holding him closer. He nuzzled his nose in Louis' hair . "How about the tunnel of love." He said with a smirk, before laughing at the cheesy attraction. He knew it was pointless to go, but he just wanted to kiss and cuddle Louis without watching eyes.
⠀
Louis nodded a little bit and smiled wide. He pecked the corner of Harry's mouth and stood up quickly, tugging Harry to his feet. He loved this. He loved Harry and feeling happy. He was hopelessly in love and he couldn't help it. Not that he wanted to. Harry made him smile. Nothing else mattered.
⠀
Harry let Louis drag him to the ride entrance. A goofy smile playing on his lips as he watched Louis' excitement. It made his own heart swell at how adorable it was that Louis found this all so amazing. His eyes danced with a glint of light as he looked at everything around him. Harry truly felt like the luckiest man In the world. They showed the man their wrist bands and he ushered them into a little boat, telling them to keep their arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, then leaving to bid them a good ride. The boat slowly moved into a dark tunnel , moving very slowly as two robotic people began performing a romantic scene under a spotlight before it moved to another. Harry wasn't paying attention to the ride however. He was watching the boy he was deeply in love with. His heart felt like it was on fire as he imagined what would have happened if he hadn't met Louis. He would've never been happy.
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Louis laughed at the robots for a few seconds before turning his attention to Harry, squirming to get under his arm and leaning his head on him. He leaned up kissing his lips softly, pulling away. "I love you." He whispered with a little grin on his lips.
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Harry's lips tingled from where Louis' had just been, his mind a bit hazy and love washed. "I love you more than you'll ever know Louis. " he said softly before tightening his hold on Louis as the ride slowly came to an end. They hopped out of the boat as Harry grabbed Louis' hand leading him towards the food stands. He looked at Louis and saw a look of disgust mixed with fear flash over his features. Harry stopped and pulled Louis close in his arms . "I know you're getting better, but you need to eat something baby. I won't get much ok?" He said sweetly as Louis let out a hesitant nod. Harry walked up to a booth ordering a basket of fries, grabbing them and sitting down next to Louis at a table. Louis looked pained as he wearily watched the basket of food . Harry frowned before he got an idea, a cheesy one at that. "Here baby," he began to say grabbing a French fry. "I'll eat half of it, and you eat the other half. So each time you eat half, you get a kiss. Ok?" Harry told him soft and lovingly before placing half the French fry in his mouth, letting the other half hang out for Louis.
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Louis bit his lip for a second and then nodded. He was always happy to kiss Harry, not exactly wanting to eat, but he just nodded, figuring it'd make Harry happy. So he'd do it. He scooted closer and took the other end of the French fry in his mouth. He chewed the French fry until his lips met Harry's, kissing him lovingly with a smile. He pulled away and watched as Harry put another French fry in his mouth and they proceeded to do it again. Louis was okay with eating for now.
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Harry smiled as he places the last French fry between his lips, Louis eagerly leaning forward and capturing the fry in his mouth, his lips meeting Harry's again. Harry smiled as he gently cupped Louis' cheek pulling him closer and kissing him fully. He pulled back and smiled stroking Louis' cheek. "I'm so proud of you baby. Look, you did it. You finished them all." He said smiling wide as he stared at Louis lovingly. "I love you so much baby." He said as his expression turned serious as he went in for another kiss.
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Louis felt a little sick when he'd realized that he had eaten all the fries. He felt bloated, disgusting, but he tried to ignore the feeling as best as he could, kissing Harry. He relaxed a bit when his lips were pressed to Harry's. Everything felt still and perfect, like no one was around them. "I'm so madly in love with you." Louis mumbled against Harry's lips, pulling away slightly to look at him. He was so perfect in Louis' eyes, so gorgeous and wonderful and he didn't deserve anything bad to happen to him. Louis loved Harry more than anything.
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Harry smiled as Louis spoke softly, his eyes burning with love. This boy in front of him was his savior . Harry had done nothing but horrible things since Adam and Louis came along and dragged him out of the dark. He brought back the hold Harry. Harry looked from the corner of his eye and saw the sky had long been dark. He stood up and threw away the trash before taking Louis' hands and pulling him up. He placed a tender kiss on his lips before silently dragging him towards the Ferris wheel. They showed their wrists to the man and sat down. The bar fell into place and locked and Harry felt Louis tremble slightly besides him. Harry knew about Louis' slight fear of heights, but he wasn't worried. "Louis baby I know you might be a little scared, but I'm right here. I'm right here with you and I will protect you from anything and everything." He said softly rubbing his thumb on the back of Louis' hand As he looked at Louis lovingly.
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Louis just nodded as the Ferris wheel slowly reached the top before stopping all together , the lights going out all over the fair.
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Harry felt Louis tremble again next to him, but strained to hear the operator below. "The power went out all over the city! They are trying to get it back up so it'll be about 20 minutes! Just hang tight and remain calm!" The man yelled up at the couple.
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Louis froze. The smile that had once been on his face was now a frown and he was absolutely terrified. He had tried so hard to keep his eyes on Harry- on anything, but they eventually wandered to the ground and his breath hitched, breath quickening and then looking back up. They were so high up, it was too high for his liking and he felt like he would fall. He couldn't even breathe correctly. He clung to Harry's shirt tightly, hiding his face in his shirt. Harry said he'd protect him and Louis believed that he would, so he tried to calm down, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt sick and dizzy not wanting to open his eyes.
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Harry gently pulled Louis into his lap wrapping his arm around his waist. "Shh baby it's ok. You're ok I'm right here. I've got you and I'm never letting go." He said softly in his ear pressing a kiss behind his ear. He gently ran his fingers through Louis' hair feeling a sense of protection wash over him . "Just breathe baby." He said again as Louis slowly tried calming down. Harry looked up and was met with a breathtaking view of the stars. With all the lights In the city out, the stars shone brighter than ever before. Harry smiled as they reminded him of Louis. "Lou baby look up at the stars." He said softly stroking Louis' hair comfortingly. "The stars are so bright and beautiful. They remind me of you ." He confessed softly , his eyes sparkling as he looked up at the night sky.
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Louis took a few seconds to even process what was being said to him and he let out a deep breath, hesitantly opening his eyes. His body still shook a little bit, but he was as calm as he could get at the moment. He leaned his head on Harry's chest and looked up at the stars. He was completely mesmerized by the view and he smiled lightly. "They're so beautiful." He muttered. He pecked Harry's jaw quickly, his body becoming still. He looked back up and let out of soft sigh.
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Harry smiled as he looked up at the sky with Louis. "They remind me of you. They shine bright just like you, they're undeniably beautiful like you, they make people happy, just like you . And most of all, even though they are just tiny things, they matter a whole lot . Without them, we wouldn't be able to live." He said softly, his words only meant for Louis only. "I love you so much baby. You have no idea how proud i was when you finished all those fries. Even that wasn't very big but small steps and look at you . You did it. I'm so proud of you and I had a great time today. I never want to leave you're side because you bring out the better in me. You have no idea how much you mean to me and how much I love you." Harry said finishing his speech as he looked at Louis .
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Louis felt his face flush and he pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's lips, staying where he was for a little over a minute. He pulled away slowly and looked at the boy in front of him. A little smile played on his lips as he stared at him. "I love you. I love you so much and you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm so happy I met you." He said quietly, everything around them looking completely non existent besides Harry and the sky, but even the stars couldn't compare to Harry. Nothing could compare and Louis knew that for a fact. And maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.
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