The possessive bad boy

CHAPTER 9

Chapter 9: what was I going to say? Hey guys, I'm going to go throw up now...

"Home away from home huh?" I asked taking in my surroundings.

Ignoring my question he pulls out one of the chairs. Looking at me expectantly he nods toward the table. I shuffle over to the chair and then sit. Then he starts pushing my chair in for me I grab the bottoms and pull myself the rest of the way. I hate it when people try to carry my body weight.

Blake walks to the small kitchen and pulls out something that looks like potatoes. He then walks out the small back door and returns with a plate with tinfoil. With the potatoes and the mystery plate in from of us he pulls a pot of the stove. I can see smoke curling into the air. Suddenly I'm hungry. He places the contents- which I now see is corn- into a glass bowl and places it on the table. Blake then proceeds to put food on plates. He starts with my plate. Everything smells so good. My mouth waters at the sight of steak. That's what was on the plate. When he finishes plating his dish he nods at me and picks up a fork and eats a full fork of potatoes.

Everything is so good. The steak is rare, just the way I like it. It melts on my mouth and leaves me wanting more. Soon I have devoured my meat and start on the potatoes. They taste so good. If Blake made all this I might have to re-consider dating him. Hell I may just marry the guy.

Soon my plate was empty. I look up to see Blake staring at me curiously. Oh god. I just wolfed down so much food. He probably thinks I'm disgusting. Then he chuckles.

"Damn if I had known you could eat like that I would have made more food." Blake jokes.

I'm so embarrassed my face is turning red. Then I feel sick. I cannot believe I did that. I mumbled something about going to the bathroom and escaped my shame. Once safely locked inside I shook with silent tears. Why can't I just be like them. Like Kelly. She would have never been a cow out there. She was always so beautiful. I had to starve myself to keep my weight to a minimal. And there I just wolfed my food down. Like a starved dog. As my tears eased up I made my decision. I had quit I promised myself I quit. But tonight I just couldn't do it anymore. It gets in your system like a drug.

I put my fingers to the back of my throat. After all this time I had almost no gag reflex but I could basically will myself to finish my task. After I finished I frowned. It was a shame to waste that delicious food. My stomach felt empty and happy. But my mouth tasted like acid. I ran cold water and sloshed it around in my mouth. Usually I kept a small shot sized container of mouthwash in my purse. Now I didn't have one. I was supposed to quit. I could still taste vomit in the back of my throat. So I slurped some water from my hands. Then I did a breath test. Figuring I would be okay, I mean now I feel like such shit I want to go home, I'm not worrying about kissing the guy. So I walked back out.

Black had brought the dishes to the kitchen. Worry was etched across his face.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

I simply nodded and waited for him to take me home. Instead he stood there and started. Heat creeped into my face. I was in there to long. Unconsciously I wiped at my mouth, afraid remnants of my trip to the washroom remained.

"Don't lie to me. What is wrong?" He asked.

What was I supposed to tell him when I left? hey guys I'm going to throw up no. Why couldn't he let it go? Why did he care. Pain was obvious in his chiseled face. I dropped my eyes to the floor and spoked a strong as I could.

"I'm fine. I would like to go home now." I peeked up from my hair. His face changed emotions so quick I was sure I missed some. Pain, worry, sorrow, and finally anger.

"Why lie to me? I heard you. Are you sick?" He clenched out.

Shame flooded my body. I needed out. I started to panic. He can't know. No one was supposed to. A single tear escaped my eyes. Finally realization dawned on him. I heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Why?" He bit out angrily.

I couldn't look up at him. I couldn't face the disgust in his eyes. In less than a second he was in front of me. He pulled my chin up roughly to meet his gaze.

"You made yourself throw up. Why?" Blake questioned. The anger was still there but there was now more worry etched in his face.

"I-I just w-want to go home." I stuttered out.

Blake growled and backed my against the wall. His face was hard. His eyes were cold. I was suddenly frightened.

"I asked you a question Luna. I expect and answer." Blake rumbled.

I stood there a few more seconds. Traitorous tears escaping my eyes.

"Why!?" He yelled out.

"I- just, I can't! I can't deal with it anymore." I felt light headed from lack of food and hydration. His gaze was rock hard. I hated my body. I fucking hated it. I was such a fat cow. No matter what I would always be that fat kid. That was never changing. It was the only thing I can count on.

"Can't deal with what? What is so bad that you have to do something so fucking stupid and throw up, like those skinny bitches that crowd the halls at our school?!" Blake bellowed out. I started to panic. Fear flooded my veins. Black dots invaded my vision. My eyelids felt heavy. Then I passed out. Gone. Darkness enveloped me. Sometimes, this was the best part. The nothingness of denying my body proper care. Sounds weird but when I was in this dark place music filled the void. Usually it was hard rock. This time it was painkiller by three days grace.

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HEY guys. Sorry the chapter is so short. It was hard to write. This is a serous issue. Please believe it is never the escape. And yes it can become an addiction as stupid as that sounds.

On a happier note. You should check out the song. I've listened to it on repeat for like a week. I try to add at least one every chapter.

have a great night. I hope to update soon. My next chapter is already in progress.

P.S I take song suggestions. So if there is a song you feel needs a mention I might try to fit it in.

Anyway night peoples!!