Daughter of the Hearth and Moon

My Aunt's Boyfriend is a God.

School is out, me and Nancy said our goodbyes to each other, and I was on the bus to home, with the three losers sitting in front of me, when the bus broke down.

There was a group of old ladies selling fruit so I went up and asked how much a guava and a bag of apples were, paid them and got weird advice. "Try not to get killed by your uncle, sweetie."

"That might be too chilling for me."

The middle one giggled, and I could hear the third one groan.

I walked back and noticed the first one, was staring at Jones right as the middle one cut the yarn on a huge pair of stockings.
When I got on the bus again I heard Underwood mumbling about sixth grade, always being sixth grade.

"Sorry to cut in but what's wrong with sixth grade?"

More groans and a giggle from a hot girl behind them.

"Sorry about my shear curiosity. I guess I've got a six sense of humor."

Even more groans, and grover begged me to stop, a few more giggles from the hot girl though. We reached our destination and I got in a cab, Jones stopped me and asked if we could ride together sense we were going to the same place. "Fine but you take most of the fare."

We got to our apartments and paid the man, we're on the same floor too huh, I walked in on my Aunt Sally making out with her boyfriend, Poseidon, who names their kid after a God, his parents that's who. "Hey you two done sucking each others faces off?"

"Oh, Perci, you startled me."

"Hello Perci, how was your day?"

"P cool, not as good as updog, but s'alright." Lazy smile on my face I got ready for the punch line.

"What is updog?"

"Nothin much what's up with you?"

"Oh, pffhahaha, ok that one was good."

I burst out laughing, and sally gust looked at me with amusement, while Poseidon cracked up. Sally said, "sweetie we are going to Montauk with my cousin Lucy and her son, she might not be happy to see Poseidon, but he's not coming so it should be fine."

"She your ex Poseidon?"

"Yes, it didn't work out."

"You mean after she had the kid, what's his name anyways?"

"David Jones, what's with that look?"

"He's annoying and I might have been one of his bullies, mainly by telling puns and making jokes at his expense, especially when he was with Underwood."

"Grover Underwood?"

"Yeah, the kid smells like goat, so I made a lot of baaahd puns near them."

"Ha, you are incorrigible, what's in the bag?"

"A Guava and some apples, here Aunt Sally." I handed her the apples and brought the Guava to the counter.

"Go get ready then we leave to Montauk."

"Okay, Aunt Sally."

We left after I got packed with a swimming suit and some sun wear. When we got to Jones' place he was glaring at his step dad, and they were leaving.

"Hey Jones, nice step dad, try not to kill him, yet."

"Shut up Jackson, I don't need your sass today." Man I would love to punch this kid in the face, instead I waited for the ladies to turn around and shoved my fist in his gut again.

"Don't talk to me like that, Jones."

"At least you are straightforward about your hate."

We left and were driving to Montauk, I was telling puns, Sally was driving and giggling about my puns, Jones was groaning and trying to block me out, and Lucy was trying to keep a straight face.

We arrived and did the cleanup detail then went to the beach. I lazed around and swam a bit until dark. We sat by the fire talking about things.

"Hey aunt Sally can you tell me about my parents?"

"They were great, and didn't want to give you up. They cried when they asked me to take care of you. I think my boyfriend is related to them."

"But your boyfriend is Jones' dad, does that make him my cousin."

"What I'm related to you, please kill me now."

"Oh, he's with you huh Sally?"

Was that a secret? Oh well. We left to the cabin soon after that. I dreamt of the moon and the hearth in the form of two women hugging a baby me. Then I got woken up by Jones. "Get up there's something outside."

"It's the wind dumbass, let me sleep."

"It's not the wind Perci."

I opened the door to find Underwood drenched in rain water. "You have goat to be kidding me Underwood aren't you cold?"

"Where's David?"

"He's behind me with his mom."

"Lucy we have to go." "Right Sally."

We ran to the car and drove off.

"Ugh, you smell like wet goat, I knew you smelled before but this is worse. What smells like bull?"

"Probably the guy chasing us."

"Who's chasing us?" Jones.

"Oh, no one, just the Lord of the underworld and his most bloodthirsty minions."

"That's nice Grover, just freak him out more."

"Hey, you said my name."

"Don't get used to it Underwood."

We were driving along when the car exploded, and I woke up with an unconscious goat boy in my lap. Me and Jones escaped and got every one out then we ran to the pine tree at the top of the hill.

"What is that?"

"Jones come on. We don't have time for this." I picked him up and threw him down the hill on the other side. I saw Chase help him up. "Hey Chase! Help me with the goat and our parents."

"Oh, Grover." She ran forward and allowed Sally in, but before Lucy could get in she was grabbed by a beefy hand, and held in the air till she exploded in gold dust. Jones freaked out and killed it with its own horn then passed out.

We carried him to a big house and Chase took him to the infirmary while I talked to our Latin teacher, who was named Chiron.

Another chapter on this, those who have read my stuff before know I stay on a book until I run out of ideas, still try to get back to them though. I hope you enjoy and always appreciate feedback, please someone respond to my jokes, and I don't own Percy Jackson.