𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐛™️ [✓]

seventeen

brian looks up. "it's like me, you know, with my grades. when i step outside myself and when i look in at myself you know? and i see me—but i don't like what i see, i really don't."

"what's wrong with you? why don't you like yourself?"

"because i'm stupid. i'm failing shop. see we had this assignment, to make this ceramic elephant, and we had eight weeks to do it. mime was like a lamp, and when you pull the
trunk, the light was s'posed to go on—my light didn't go on. i got a F on it. i've never got a F in my life. when i signed up, i thought i was playing it real smart, you know? cause i thought, i'll take shop, it'll be such an easy way to maintain my grade point average."

"why'd you think it'd be easy?" bender asks.

"have you seen some of the dopes that take shop?"

"i take shop...you must be a fuckin' idiot!" bender snaps.

"i'm a fuckin' idiot because i can't make a lamp?"

"no, you're a genius because you can't make a lamp." bender sarcastically replies.

"what do you know about trigonometry?"

"i could care less about trigonometry."

"bender, did you know without trigonometry there'd be no engineering?"

"without lamps, there'd be no light." he fires back.

"okay so neither one of you is any better than the other one." claire looks to both of them.

allison begins to feel left out, so she speaks up. "i can write with my toes! i can also eat, brush my teeth..."

"with your feet?" claire challenges.

"...play heart & soul on the piano."

"i can make spaghetti!" brian happily relates.

"what can you do?" claire asks andrew.

"i can...uh...tape all your buns together." he laughs.

"i wanna see what claire can do!" bender looks to the girl smirking.

she shakes her head. "i can't do anything."

"now, everybody can do something." he responds.

"there's one thing i can do." she smirks. "actually no, forget it, it's way too embarrassing." the girl changes her mind.

"you ever seen wild kingdom? i mean that guy's been doing that show for thirty years."

"okay, but you have to swear to god you won't laugh!" she rolls her eyes. "i can't believe i'm actually doing this..."

claire takes lipstick out of her purse, and opens it. she places it between her boobs and applies it from her cleavage. when she lifts her head, her lipstick is perfect.

everyone claps. bender's clap is sarcastic and slow.

"where'd you learn to do that?" andrew asks, chuckling.