Feelings Suck

Hunter

    I gasp raggedly for breath as I'm pulled from the toilet, my hair and face drenched with the disgusting water. I hear a dark cackle from Logan as he dunks me once more. God, why does it always end up like this?

    I sigh softly as I unlock my locker, head down like always. My name is Hunter, and I'm a junior at Sunnyside High School. Not a very fitting name, considering it's a shithole. Excuse my language. But seriously, this place isn't "sunny" at all. The kids bully each other 24/7, the teachers couldn't care less whether we passed or flunked, the extracurriculars are practically nonexistent- Need I say more? I'm... kind of a nerd, so I care a lot about school. I want a place to hang out and learn, not be constantly harassed by kids my own age. If I wanted that, I would just live in the internet. But I can't complain too much, I guess. I meet some pretty nice people, sometimes...
    There's these two, and I'm kind of torn between them. First there's Jenny Anderson, the cutest girl in the entire school. She's sweet- always puts other people before herself- and really smart. She's like the only kid in our school with straight A's. She has amazingly soft, caramel brown hair and these wonderful, shining blue eyes that hold childlike innocence. She's breathtaking. I think I'm in love with her, honestly. And I'm not invisible to her! We've actually been friends since my freshman year. She's the same age as me, but her birthday is one month before mine.
    Then there's Nathan "Nate" Stevens. He's... how do I describe this? I guess I could say he's... unique. He's not weak by any definition- he's actually really strong. He works out a lot, since he's on the basketball team. He's really tall, too; I think he's in the six foot range. Way taller than me, at least. He's really funny, always makes a joke that everyone can laugh it. He's kind of a people pleaser, by some standards. He's sweet, too, like Jenny. But he's a bit more brash than Jenny is-- but not in a bad way! He's just kind of loud and out there, y'know? He's just a lot more outgoing. And that's really what I like about him...
    See, I'm still figuring things out... about me. I don't know if I like girls or guys or both, because I always find a guy or a girl that's really attractive to me! It's just really confusing. I think I like Jenny more than Nate, but then Nate finds something he's really passionate about and I fall for him all over again. When he talks about something he's really into, his green eyes sparkle like emeralds and he gets this dorky grin that he can't wipe off for hours. It's beyond adorable. Jenny and him are practically complete opposites, yet I find myself falling for both of them equally. Which means I guess I don't really have a type? I don't know.
    But high school isn't just crushes and confusion, sadly. It'd be a lot easier to deal with if that was the case. Unfortunately, it's not. There's this one guy who's a complete asshole- His name is Logan. He's got this shitty ass black hair that he keeps spiked up with the nastiest smelling hair gel ever. He gets any girl he wants, but he only goes for the slutty ones that he can get a quick fuck with then he tosses them aside. It makes my skin crawl and my organs want to shrivel up just thinking about him. Eugh. Anyway, he's a complete jackass on top of his crappy personality. He's constantly pushing me around because he's four months older than me, and like a foot taller than me. He thinks he can pick on me because I'm small and don't fight back! Which... maybe isn't entirely untrue... But still! He likes to keep this screwed up schedule: Mondays are beatings, Tuesdays are swirlies, Wednesdays are lunch money, and Thursdays are sweets. He gives me Fridays off because he's "so generous." Gag me.
    Back to the story now, huh? I was on my way to my first class of the day, English II, when I run into Jenny. She grins up at my happily, hugging her thick book to her chest and practically bouncing. "Oh, hi, Hunter! Great morning, isn't it?"
    "Ah, it's a morning." I laugh awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. "So, what's got you so perky, huh?" Jenny's not exactly not a morning person, but she's usually only this happy when she has good news.
    "Oh, nothing much..." She smiles deviously before shoving her Chemistry test in my face. I'm a bit taken back by it before I grab the paper and read the grade next to it. A+.
    "Oh, wow! Congrats, Jenny!" I grin as well as I hand her the paper back. She squeals excitedly and hugs me tightly. This must have been really important to her.
    "I'm so happy, Hunter!! Thank you, thank you for tutoring me!" She pulls away, her face tinted a light shade of pink as she brushes a strand of brunette hair behind her ear. "Oh, um... sorry." She smiles up at me bashfully, to which I just chuckle.
    "Hey, don't worry about it. You're happy, it's understandable. Say, uh... how about I treat you to dinner to congratulate you properly, hm? I just got paid a couple days ago, so it wouldn't be breaking the bank or anything." I offer, albeit awkwardly. I've never been good at talking to people, let alone attractive people. Also, I may have not mentioned this but I work as a cashier at our local gas station. Nothing fancy, but I get paid for it, so can't complain.
    Jenny's eyes sparkle like diamonds as she gazes up at me, searching my face for any sign of a joke. "Really? You'd do that for me?"
    "Sure, why not?" I laugh softly, smiling at her. "You're my friend, I'm more than happy to treat you once in a while. Especially when you get good news, you know?"
    Jenny's face resembles a child who just got told they could have any sort of candy they want. She hugs me so tight, I thought my ribs were sure to pop. "Thank you so much! You're so awesome, awesome, awesome!"
    I laugh, ruffling her hair. "Nah, it's nothing. Hey, have you seen Nate today? He was supposed to help me with some stuff."
    Jenny tilts her head, "Huh? Uh... no, I haven't. Weird, eh? He's usually in the gym or something, practicing his basketball stuff. Check there?"
    I nod, "Yeah, okay. I'll text you later about dinner, alright?" Jenny nods and smiles, hugging me one more time before bouncing off towards her class. I head towards the gym like she suggested and, sure enough, I saw him there, practicing... whatever it was basketball players practiced. I smile, leaning against the doorframe and just silently watching him for a few minutes. God, he's so cute...
    "Hunter!" He smiles when finally noticing me. I clam up, blushing fiercely at being caught staring.
    "Oh, uh, Nate! I didn't even.. Y'know, see you there. Clearly. I was just staring at... the wall! You know, such a beautiful pattern and... architectural sturdiness..." Fuck, I suck at this.
    Nate just laughs, nodding, "Yeah, it's a cool wall, dude. So, do you always come to the gym to stare at walls?" He dribbles-- is that the word? Did I use that right?-- the ball a couple times, patiently waiting for my answer.
    "No! I was, maybe, looking for you?" I sigh, smiling abashedly. "Sorry, I'm really bad at lying... Yeah, I was staring at you... I was wondering where you were, since you weren't where we agreed to meet up." Nate stops dribbling, staring at me like I just told him my first born was killed.
    "Oh... shit, dude, I'm really sorry. God, I'm such a scatterbrain... I totally forgot you asked me to meet you by the lockers." He sighed, tossing the ball into the... ball... thing, and turning to look at me. "You're... not mad or anything, right?"
    I laugh a bit and smile goofily, "Of course not, man. Honest mistake, don't beat yourself up over it." I twiddle my thumbs a bit, sighing. "I really don't wanna go home..."
    Nate smiles a bit, "Well, you can come home with me? You know my parents love you to death." I grin, remembering how Nate's parents treat me. They act like I'm a God or something, hah. It's really sweet, to be honest.
    "Yeah, sure. I don't have to tell my parents, they, uh... won't care..." I sigh softly. I made myself sad, dammit. Nate smiles sympathetically, rubbing my back.
    "Don't worry, dude. Things will get better, I promise." God, I love him. I laugh and nod, knowing somehow... he's right. Things will definitely get better.