Promises (Attack on Titan)

1. Another Fallen District

-842-

"Anisa, look!" Eren tugged on my arm. He pointed above the heads of the other curious citizens towards the returning Survey Corps soldiers.

My brother's eyes gleamed in awe as he watched them trudge through the main city street. I don't know if he saw the horror on their faces as they walked. I don't know if he knew of the horrors outside of our protective walls. He only saw the glory, he only saw how amazing it is to serve humanity in the best possible way he could think of.

"The heroes have returned!" He exclaimed, holding tightly onto my wrist. He loved them because they fought Titans, the enemy to humanity, the hunters of us, the reason we had been pushed behind these walls.

I grimaced and forced out a smile, "It seems that they have."

The men and women who wore the forest green cloaks that adorned the Wings of Freedom emblem averted eye contact with the citizens who had gathered around them. Some of them were crying, and some had their eyes cast emotionlessly down to the cobblestone.

"That damned Survey Corps," a man in front of us growled quietly. "Fattening up those damned Titans."

Eren scowled at them. Hardly anyone saw the Survey Corps as the heroes Eren did. He held them to a much higher esteem than I did. While I was fascinated by them, by their cause, I did not think their branch of the military was as safe one. The Survey Corps was disliked by the majority of citizens because they left the protective walls only for more than half of their ranks to be eaten by the Titans that waited outside.

The air around the returning soldiers was thick, and I could feel the anguish, the dread, and the helplessness creeping up to my chest. The soldiers never returned with smiling and hopeful faces. It always looked and felt so bleak when they returned, hardly knowing anything more than when they left.

Despite the Survey Corps' low survival rate, I understood Eren's infatuation with them. I understood why my brother always got so excited when they returned, why he loved them so much. I understood the appeal of that military branch.

The soldiers got to go outside. They got to see the land that isn't hindered by the walls humanity has to hide behind. I understood why some would choose to join such a dangerous affiliation. I could see why someone who was ultimately trained to get away from the Titans would choose to go into Titan territory.

Outside of the walls, the soldiers got to breathe the fresh air. They got to see the wildlife that was untouched and undisturbed by humans. There was something really beautiful about the opportunity that was given to those who joined the Survey Corps, the opportunity to leave.

But I often thought about the chances of really seeing that beautiful land beyond the walls. Was the chance to see all that lay beyond the walls we'd known our entire lives worth the risk of being eaten alive?

That, I hadn't been quite certain of yet. One thing was for certain, though, and that was that I would at least get to see such beauty before I died. I would get the chance to taste a bit of freedom, and I'd get to breathe that fresh air before I was eaten. I was somehow certain that all that would make it worth my while.

-850-

Was being able to see outside the wall worth all the trauma and blood I've seen and endured the last five years in the Survey Corps? Was the opportunity to breathe the fresh air really worth narrowly escaping death on multiple occasions, as well as living through multiple broken bones during my first year?

I'm still not sure. I not sure if I even quite understand the appeal of the Survey Corps anymore sometimes. I'm just kind of happy that I've survived for as long as I have.