On Sturdy Legs

Out of a Date

When I got back home, it was quite a while later. I understood the urge to drive around and did quite a bit of it myself before I parked outside and let myself back in through the door that I found was open. Probably for me. I supposed that I could have gone back to bed for a few hours. Although, even if I had, I doubted that I would have been able to go back to bed; all I would have achieved was lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.

Instead, I crept back up to my room and unpacked the few things that I had in my bag. Sure enough, Izzy was still asleep, all curled up in bed with her matching PJ top and bottoms, and for the first time she wasn't alone; Tarq was curled up beside her with his head resting protectively across her stomach and one of her arms thrown out across him in that careless sleep sort of way. I stroked his head when I walked in, but he didn't move as to not wake or disturb her. I understood that much and murmured under my breath about how much of a good boy he was. Since I was in my room, I also changed out of my PJs and into my usual shorts and a tank top.

When I got back down stairs, Molly was sitting at the kitchen table. It looked as if she had gotten back from yoga, going off the oddness of her outfit. She probably pulled up after I did and had seen the car out front. She would have known that I was already home--early too. I couldn't determine what she thought about that by her expression but when I stepped into the room, Molly wrapped both her arms around me and held me to her.

"I'm fine, Molly," I told her.

I was, and in saying this, maybe even repeating it if I felt so inclined, it was true. There was nothing I had to convince myself of. Nothing to remember or relive when I thought about why I was home so early and hadn't finished my coffee.

Molly looked like she was going it say something, perhaps something deep and emotional and meaningful. It seemed that she thought better of that and instead asked, "how about some breakfast?"

I had to take her up on that. Molly cooked up pancakes with bacon inside some and blueberries inside others. In the way that I never could, she managed to persuade the batter to take the shape of heart by some manner of witchcraft.

After breakfast, Molly looked very much about to start some talks about feelings and such--that was part of her job as a parent. It wasn't the kind of thing I was good about so I decided to take Tarq on a long walk. I used this time to walk some of the green belt paths to get a better feel for them, even with the lingering soreness from the dance group, walking felt good and when I reached a random stretch of path that ran behind some of the larger houses, I couldn't help but remember what I had said then. I was in Phase 2, almost ready for Phase 3. It hadn't quite been three months since my surgery. I had to lie to myself a bit, that was a bit of an exaggeration. The thing was that I was confident in my knee; I had nearly full range of motion. And impulse control had never quite been my strong suit. The path that stretched ahead of me looked as straight as it would get and something inside me was screaming in the most figurative way possible for that pounding in my body that would kick in the second I started off down it. Maybe this could be a good thing.

Maybe I was insane. I brought one foot in front of me but not to take my weight for a temporary time until I could put my other foot in front of it, this foot was pushing off too hard for mere walking. And my other foot was pushing off. And again and again on that repeated motion. Suddenly I was running as fast as I could, like there was a bull behind me and I was painted red. I sprinted like there was a race and it felt as good as any race ever had. My legs felt secure beneath me and my ankles didn't burn with pain, nor did my knees; both of them felt right. I nearly completed the stretch with Tarq running along side me with his own doggy joy when a sliver of pain shot through my knee, even with the brace on it. The place where my femur met my tibia was burning just beneath my skin.