Strong (Niall Horan)

Chapter 7-

Chapter 7-

 I hate not being able to see her first thing. She has always been there and to be honest it would be great to have her with me right now. She knew how to make everything seem okay. She is the one person I know of who can calm me down when I am raging or freaking out, which rarely happens so when it does its terrible and I become hard to calm down. I have a lot of patients with people, especially my family, hence why I never snapped on them before high school. Most people probably would of broke before them with all the pressure I had on my shoulders but I had come accustom to it. It became second nature. I needed to stay strong as I always am. It is what they all expect of me and I always meet their expectations. Growing up I was constantly on my own. My parents were really strict about my upbringing and they never were about Amalee's or Jame's. I learned to take care of myself at such a young age because I had no one to look after me. The only attention I received from my mother my whole life was her trying to change me into a girlie girl. She wanted me to love the colour pink and wear dresses and skirts. She wanted me to be one of those trophy wives you see on television. I couldn't do it because plain and simply, it isn't me. I have this motto, well I have two. One never surrender and two, leave with who I came with. It keeps me grounded. All of these years I have watched my friends and the people I have known my whole life change in order to be accepted into society. They want to fit in and in order to achieve their goal they change. I remember half of my friends who used to be tomboys like me or semi-normal have become the type of girls who remind me of a Barbie. The only person who hasn't is Brie. When it comes to the two of us nothing has changed. We both have the same goal, professional soccer. We are a lot alike I think thats why we get along so well. The difference is her parents accept her for who she is and love her for it. They are proud of who she is, what she does and just her in general. I sigh quietly before picking up my bags and turning around to see Niall staring at me. His face wasn't blank and hard as it has been sense we met. It has this look of curiosity, concern and approval? As soon as he realizes I was looking at him his face hardens again. Bipolar much. Gee it is great living with him. This guy confuses me. There is something about Niall Horan. I'm just not sure if its good or bad. “Are you done?” he asks in a monotone. “Yes” I scowl annoyed. He walks out carrying my biggest bag. What did I do to deserve this? I sigh before locking up and following him to his car. Brie had mine which is very unfortunate. We don't talk throughout the drive and that leaves me to stare out the window. There was an uncomfortable, strangling silence but neither of us seemed to have any interest in changing that. No matter how we felt about this we were stuck together. In the end I packed my bags and came back without another word to my parents or James. What else was I suppose to do? There was no way for us to get out of this. The car stops bringing me from my thoughts. I look around and see a familiar park near his flat. It was the park where the team and I meet sometimes to practice. It isn't even five minutes from my flat. Niall gets out while I look around. I don't even notice him open my door until he sticks his hand out. I jump slightly as he stares at me expectantly. “Uh” I mumble. He rolls his eyes and gestures for me to take his hand. I had never touched him, never made physical contact with him except when he caught me when I was drunk and I didn't like the weird feeling when he did. I didn't want this. “Come on, just take it” he grumbles. I hesitantly take his hand and he helps me out of the car, my hand feeling like electricity was shooting through it and up my arm until it went through my whole body. Me being me I ignore it and drop his hand as soon as I am standing outside of the car. We carry my stuff in and he tells me where everything is in a monotone.

 It has been a month sense I moved in with Niall. You could say it has been very awkward. We don't really talk or acknowledge each other. When we do all we do is fight. I hate it. I know why too. I blame him. Ever since we met I blamed him. I was taking my pain and anger out on him. Years and years of pain and anger. I think its because its easier than blaming myself. I blame him for this stupid arranged marriage even though I know he doesn't want to marry me either. I think the main reason I blame him so much and hate him because he has everything I don't. He has the perfect life that I have always craved for. He has the things I have always wanted. His dream job, a family and loyal friends. People who stuck with him through thick and thin, people who love him more than anything in the world. It stung. I don't know if I'll ever live my football dream. My own family hates me and sold me off. The only person who has stuck by me all these years is Brie. Everyone else has come and gone or just arrived recently. The hardest part when we found out about this marriage was being there. I saw how much his family loves him. The love and adoration in their eyes as they looked at him. Then theres also the pride in their eyes. How proud they are of  what he has become. Not even once have I seen that in my own parents eyes when they were looking at me.