Letters- From Hurt to Heal

To the person I have lost

I met you. Saw your for the first time, you looked at the three of us and said "Yeh bhai" when you looked at me.

You messaged me for very first time, asking me to read your novel. That made feel like, a part of me was lucky enough to find you. It was like that god has given me some strength to get up but I gave my heart a shutup call, I didn't want any attachments.

I don't know, how and when i got used to you. I got habitual of you. Talking to you everyday, going to university after replying to your texts in the morning to coming home with a text of yours. I don't know why it gave me happiness but it did, and somehow, took my heart away too.

But you were not my whole story, you were a chapter, a beautiful chapter.

and somewhere, I am stuck at that chapter. I can't move ahead of me.

Sometimes, i go through the old chats of us, and I try to find where it went wrong. From talking to each other everyday to not even texting each other, I don't know where it all went wrong. 

Hurt is not of losing you only, hurt is of losing everything along with you. You remember the day you dabbed on your bike, and we went to cafeteria after that, the way you said "Apko bulaaya kisi ney?" and laughed immediately after that, broke me apart. You can't even imagine the amount of heaviness on my heart.

Letting you go was  one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I did it anyways. Because for you i wasn't the freind, I was the friend. The one with the end. The day I was insulted because of you, I realized how you were never meant to be mine, but was it necessary to be this insulting? Was it necessary to break me apart into pieces, was it necessary to shatter me just to let me get out of your life?

If you said me to get out of your life, I would have left, without uttering a word, without asking for anything, but you did not make it easy for me. 

Now, as you are done with your part, i want to let you know some things.

Now, I maybe the one suffering, crying and questioning myself "What did I do wrong", you maybe the person with lots and lots of friends right now, and the thought of me isn't crossing your mind while I sit here and cry over you.

There would be a time when you will go through what you have made me go through, or maybe worse. You will face what you have done to me, my heart and you will pay with interest. 

I have not forgiven you, forgiveness was never meant for people like you.

You will suffer, and you will be alone, someday.