I thought I was a goner, committed to some other even lower realm I had yet to experience and would have to learn about the hard way. I never expected to return to life. But return, I did, to that press box on the Dartmouth campus, screaming with all the volume I could muster.
Because the pain was twelve on a scale of one to ten. Searing through my heart and ribs and back. And I was hot. Stifling hot. Which only made it worse.
Ellen pounced on top of me and covered my mouth.
“Quiet! You’re gonna give us away,” she whispered.
“I’m not dead?”
“No, you’re not. You were just sleeping … as usual. You must have had a bad dream.”
“Not a dream,” I muttered. I felt my chest. There was no arrowhead. No blood. But there was pain. A bit less now. But still plenty. All that one would expect for being impaled by an arrow. I pulled up my shirt.
“It wasn’t a dream,” I said. “Where’s a flashlight? I need to check something.”
“Can’t. No lights,” said Ellen. “There’s some guy prowling around the opposite stands. And it’s like four in the morning. Urszula went down to check it out. Jeez guy, you were snoozing away half the night. We needed you here. And as usual, we couldn’t wake you.”
“Couldn’t help it. It just came and took me. There was nothing I could do.”
I felt around with my fingers and found a hard, cross-shaped lump on my skin just to the left of my sternum. “There!” I took Ellen’s hand and placed it there. “Feel that?”
I sure felt it. The pain was much less now, but it was still tender. Call it a five.
“It’s … like a scar. So?”
“Feel my back. Directly across.”
She ran her hand under my shirt. Her chilly fingers felt so nice and soothing. My skin still burned. It was stuffy in this press box. Like being trapped in a room that was on fire. Of course, Ellen was all bundled up in her fleece.
“Yeah. There’s one there too. What about it?”
“I didn’t have these yesterday. I just got impaled by an arrow.”
“Well. What can I say? You heal pretty quick.”
“No. What it means is … my injuries are spanning existences. How? And what does it mean? Can I not go back? Am I dead there? Am I stuck here now?”
“Stuck? You call being here stuck? This is your life, James. That other place. That’s not … it’s not where you’re meant to be right now.”
“The hell it isn’t. Ellen. I need to be there. I’m this so close to finding Karla.”
“Well maybe … like I said … maybe that … it wasn’t meant to be.”
“What the fuck? Fuck you! I’m this close! This close to finding her.” I held up my thumb and forefinger so they were almost touching.
Ellen withdrew her hands and let my shirt flop down. She retreated into the darkest corner of the press box. She fell silent.
“Listen. I’m sorry. I lost my cool. I just … I was in the middle of something. And I’m running out of time. I wasn’t ready to come back just yet.”
“But we need you here,” said Ellen, her voice cracking a bit. “We need you here, too. Don’t you understand? We’re in trouble, James. Remember Wendell? Hello? He’s coming after us. Urszula’s been all wonderful … and brave … but we need your help, James, if we’re gonna have any chance against this man.”
