Therapy » m.c

[5] Hurt

"To hurt is as human as to breathe."

-J.K. Rowling

.....

Michael

"Hold on, Mikey." Eliza holds her hands up, hoping to calm me down. "I don't understand. Help me out here." It is evident that she doesn't understand the whole problem in this situation, her face says it all.

"So let me get this straight." she shifts her legs from under her to laying beside her thighs. "Yesterday, you heard something downstairs as you were home alone, correct?" I stop to look at her and silently nod.

She continues. "And when you got downstairs, you found out that noise was because of your...sister?" Her voice goes up as she finishes the sentence. It matching the confused expression playing on her face. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but she's your sister and I think she has the right to return home to the house she lives in." Eliza tries to explain each point clearly, pronouncing everything with the extension of her mouth, though each is paused by hesitation.

She is doubting my sanity, I just know it. And the worst part about it is that I am right there with her.

I hold my hands against my face, not really believing myself either. "Oh my god..." I pull the skin of my cheeks past my mouth, repeating that motion as I begin to pace in a line. "Maybe I am going crazy..." I come to the realization that everyone was probably right and I was just too arrogant to take notice.

"Stop talking like that." Eliza warns, before tapping the empty spot next to her. "Now sit. Take a breather."

Following her directions, I sink down to the floor, folding my knees under. My breathing has turned unsteady as my mind reels into too many directions to comprehend. If I hadn't listen to Eliza earlier, my knees would have probably given up by now. I use my best effort to hide my hands as they are perfusely shaking balling them into fists, but nothing can hide the sweat forming around my temples, as it continues to mix with the slight breeze in the air causing my body to shiver.

"Hey, hey Mikey, look at me." She pulls at my hands, as I release the grip on my cheeks, patting them down onto my lap. Her brows knitted together as her eyes look me over with genuine concern. "You're not going crazy. Not under my watch." She brings a hand, forcing me to look up at her.

"Okay, okay..." Eliza says out loud breathlessly, sounding more like she is trying to persuade herself, rather than consoling me. A hand tugs at the front of her hair, as the other fans the air around her. "Now," she shuts her eyes for a moment, taking in a much needed deep breath. "say it with me. I am not crazy."

I harshly gulp, almost fully reluctant on saying such a thing because I'm unsure if what I'm admitting is in fact the truth. Or if it is a matter of denying myself the help being offered in front of me.

"Come on. I..." She widens her eyes, pausing to let me know to continue.

So many things are rushing though my mind, my speaking becomes jumbled as I stammer over the words I want to say. "Uh, I-I-um-"

"Keep on going. I am-" Eliza nods, speaking in baby steps to match my stammering. She begins to rotate her open palm as a means of encouragement.

"I am n-no-n..." My eyes search for a decision, but find nothing to grasp on. My breath hitches and I feel like even an involuntary action such as breathing is hard to control.

Fed up, she blows up air towards her forehead causing the loose strands falling in front of her face to move out of her line of vision. "Look, don't think of me as just another one of Briar Oaks' staff. If you don't let me, how am I supposed to hel-"