Utopia

8

Jack's POV

Today was Monday. The worst day if the week. It was already lunch time and so far Logan hasn't tried anything yet.

Most likely because I was surrounded by the boys all day. Lately, they had always been watching me. As if I was going to break any moment. Especially Zach.

I still have no clue why he even talks to me. I'm a fat suicidal fuckup. There isn't anything pleasant about that. But for whatever reason, he decided to stay.

He made me feel comfortable. It was an odd feeling, I've never experienced it before. Maybe it was the way he seemed to care. Or maybe the way he soothed me.

All the boys had choir practice. Leaving me alone and vulnerable. Zach tried to convince his teacher to let him stay with me, obviously not working out.

I glanced at Logan's table. He was glaring at me. I grabbed my stuff and left the cafeteria. I walked outside, on the opposite side of the football field there was a pine tree.

I walked over quickly and climbed into the tree. I sat in the small opening. You could slightly see it from the outside but not enough.

I sighed in content leaning my head against the tree. I could see Logan outside searching for something.

Hey, dumb fuck he's looking for you!

I started shaking a bit. Just the sight of him made me want to vomit. I dug my nails into my skin as hard as I could. I held them there until Logan was out of my sight.

I let out a shaky breath and pulled my nails away. I had 4 crescent moon shapes on my palm. None were bleeding thank god. The boys would have a field day if they found out what I just did.

I tried to calm myself before I had a panic attack. 1,2,3,4,5 in 5,4,3,2,1 and out. I repeated the process over and over until my body was relaxed.

I looked out of the tree and saw Jonah and Zach searching for something. I decided to stay put.

Why would they be looking for you? You just a worthless piece of trash.

I dug my nails into my palm again. It helped keep the voices away.

"Jack!" Jonah yelled looking around. Why are they looking for me?

"Jack? Where are you?" Zach yelled with panic lacing his voice. I sighed and crawled out of the tree. I walked slowly behind Zach. Now what? He turned around about to yell again.

"Jonah I got him! Are you okay? So sorry I couldn't be there!" Zach asked concerned. I nodded my head. He pulled me in for a tight hug. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Did he hurt you?" Zach asked frantically. I shook my head no. He ran his fingers through my curls. I can't believe he's that worried. Jonah ran over to us. He sighed in relief.

"Don't you ever do that to us again! We thought Logan had you!" Jonah yelled running his finger through his hair. I flinched at the tone.

"Jack call us if you need us. We will always be there" Zach said kissing my forehead. I nodded again cuddling into his chest. I'll be alright with him.